The Daria Fandom Blog

Thanks for the Memories

2007-07-31T05:37:00.000-07:00

With this post, the Daria Fandom Blog officially comes to an end.

Beginning tomorrow, August 1, I will begin deleting posts from the blog. For all of the archivists out there, you have 24 hours to make a copy if you have not done so.

... well, on the other hand, see this post’s comments. ~ G

Taking a Break

2007-07-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

Tafka sent me a private message. While I’m not at liberty to divulge the contents, I will reveal this excerpt:

And some advice from a friend — take some much-needed break time. You’ll feel better for it.

I hadn’t actually asked Tafka for break time — I believe the comment was more like, “I think you need a vacation. Seriously.”

However, I intend to hang on to this advice like a drowning man hangs on to a piece of smoking lumber from a burning ship, and I shall indeed “take a break.” Possibly for a month, maybe more. Lest this be misunderstood as a plea for pity, I shall make it clear — it is not.

The parties involved in the argument will have to solve their own problems. No more HaloScan comments will be posted from this blog, unless one asks very politely — and I’m going to make every effort not to check the comments, lest my resolve break.

As for now, I’m getting out my Hawaiian shirt, packing my suitcase, and enjoying a rest — to my relief, and undoubtedly to everyone else’s.

The View From Above

2007-07-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

(by guest-blogger Ruthless Bunny)

I escaped from Daria fandom about three years ago. By “escaped,” I mean I conquered my addiction. At first I can say that I was drawn to the fandom by the fiction, then the people, then the interaction of the people; and then I got disgusted and left.

The addictive nature of the Internet is well documented. Like gambling, the pay-off is intermittent. Human nature is to chase an experience that we once found pleasurable, even if in doing so we subject ourselves to stress and unhappiness. It seems that, again, Daria fandom is performing as advertised.

Last night, James told me about a situation on one of the boards. The short version being that some people were slagging some other people in a forum designed just for that purpose. The result was anger, hurt feelings, and various threats of people taking their equipment and going home.

Normally I smile politely and nod, usually while I am taking mental inventory of the pantry. Frankly, this stuff is boring these days. I don’t even know who the players are anymore. This time though, I did know the players, and I was repulsed.

First of all, I’d like to go on record about three of the four pivotal people in this drama. The first is Tafka. I like Taf and I pretty much always have. I find her intelligent, interesting, and frankly refreshing. I still have a lovely hand-drawn Christmas card that she made for me displayed in a prominent place in our house.

Like most people, there are two sides to Tafka. One is fun and a good friend, the other — not so much. I know that there are certain imbalances that can cause people to have two different personalities. Hopefully one is aware of these tendencies and one tries to head off the more problematic sides of one’s personality. Sometimes the “evil” side takes over and wreaks havoc.

I believe that Tafka gives herself over to these impulses too often. She gives herself license to do so under the guise of not being trodden upon. Sometimes she’ll attach herself to someone else’s cause and tilt at their windmill. Either way, it’s not pretty, nor is it productive.

The other person in the drama is NoNameJane, a.k.a. Cynigal. We were never friends, nor will we ever be. She is responsible for no content of any type; she weaves not, neither does she spin. Oh, so clever is Cynigal! It seems to me that she is an attention whore, probably stemming from having no self-esteem.

The other side of that same ugly coin is the contempt for others that she has, whereby she justifies her pitiable existence with the argument that she is just too smart for the rest of us.

The problem with stagnant intellect is that, like stagnant water, it becomes the breeding ground for all sorts of pests. In the years that she’s been floating around the fandom, she has produced nothing. She has the temerity, however, to dump all over people who are productive, both in the fandom and in society at large.

It is said that Cynigal/NNJ is a delightful person in real life. So that says something interesting about her. She comes to the fandom to use other fans as her whipping posts, and she’s a total pussy. It’s one thing to tell someone something to their face, and to stand by that opinion. It is quite another to slag someone behind their back, and when caught out in your bullshit, to then say: “Can’t you take a joke?”

There is no love lost between us, and that’s just fine by me.

The third person is E.A. Smith. He is a friend in real life. I don’t know him in the fandom, I only know him as a person. He is super-smart, a productive member of society, and he has good common sense. I can’t say the same of Cynigal, and I’m beginning to wonder about Tafka.

As for the fourth person, Deref, I don’t know him from a bar of soap.

So how do these different people converge? In Daria-land, of course.

Frankly, this stuff is the best excuse to not be involved. When I was involved in fandom, it was a diversion. I made some friends, I made some enemies, and when it stopped serving a purpose in my life, I left. Many addictions start as diversions. Gambling, alcohol, and drugs can be recreational or they can ruin your life; it depends on their importance in your life.

So as I stand here, a recovering Internet addict, a bit smug in my recovery, I wanted to testify a bit, here in the den of iniquity, so to speak. First of all, I know: pot-kettle-black. But here’s where I differ. Yes, I was mean, but I was always up-front and direct with the people with whom I had issues. I didn’t say anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to them directly. That’s just chicken-shit.

I also left behind some darn good fan fiction. You can still go and read it.

What exactly were Tafka, Cynigal, and Deref trying to do anyway? It looked an awful lot to me like high school. Cool kids, ragging on the even cooler kids. I know that both Tafka and Cynigal had horrible high school experiences. Cynigal, I believe, left high school before graduating. The teachers were all such assholes. (Sense a theme here?)

The people who make the most derisive comments about the “sheeple” are actually the ones going around in flocks themselves. It’s still a clique, even if you’re still unpopular.

Is this what your life will always be? Finding an authority figure and rebelling against it? What does it say that the authority figure you’ve chosen is a guy on the Daria message board? It’s like robbing a lemonade stand that’s next to the 7-Eleven. A bit too easy and very lazy.

It’s probably easier than confronting your own demons. You’re stuck in dead-end jobs, have no marketable skills, and suffer through terrible relationships, with family and an ever-dwindling circle of friends. Why try and deal with that, when you can go on a message board and protest “the man” there?

I also posit this to the other Dariaites out there: When Cynigal and Tafka both start up that same, wheezing old calliope of “My job sucks, my boss sucks, my neighbors suck, and half the people on the board suck,” why do you even engage them in discourse? Consider the source. Is anything in their lives any good? What things are they doing that will actually solve those situations?

As my wise, old father said, “When someone calls you an ass, hit them. When many people call you an ass, buy a saddle.” Ladies, it’s time to saddle up.

This is not the first time that something like this has happened, and I can predict what will happen next. There will be some insincere apologies. People who say they’re finally done and over with Daria fandom will come back with a sheepish smile on their faces, forgiving all. Hell, I’ve done it myself.

So either the ladies will get their respective acts together, or they won’t. Deref may learn from this experience, or he won’t. E.A. will return to the fandom, or he won’t. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

Seigenthaler’s Rule

2007-07-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

“Seigenthaler was a man who was a newspaper reporter, a newspaper publisher, worked with Robert Kennedy, had a long and distinguished career. Somebody put in an entry saying that he was suspected of shooting John F. Kennedy. Seigenthaler found out about it. Seigenthaler for some reason was pissed.

“Seigenthaler did not do what Wikipedians had done from time immemorial. He did not go onto Wikipedia and start editing, and join the big ball of fun. He went and published an article in USA Today, he took it out of town, and talked about this.

“This broke Wikipedia. This broke Wikipedia deep, hard and fast, because while you may look at Wikipedia from the outside as being this way, it is inside an organisation. This broke Wikipedia.”

Undoubtedly, by now most of the insiders in Daria fandom are left scratching their heads and saying, “What the hell is going on here? E.A. Smith walking away from the PPMB? Roentgen pulling all of his posts (come August)? Something about some thread being edited by somebody ... somewhere ... hell, I can’t keep up!”

To unknot this tangled Web skein requires referring to people I’d rather not refer to. These attention whores love seeing their names in print anyway. I’ll simply not mention the names, so that they’ll miss the vicarious thrill of seeing their names on the printed screen.

Rather, this is the story about the end of a message board. Which, unfortunately, is the Sheep’s Fluff Message Board, a board I formerly frequented as Roentgen. Yep. That was me, too. I mean ... Jesus. You didn’t get it? The fact that “Roentgen” is just an anagram of “not (CINC)green”?

(I would have made the best Batman villain ever, but all the great gimmicks had been taken by that time. Gotham property prices are also through the roof, and you can get mugged five times on the same block.)

Initially, the Sheep’s Fluff Message Board (if I recall correctly) was designed to sort of be the home away from home for people who didn’t get along with the board moderation at the PPMB, for various reasons. It would be the only place where adult materials could actually be posted. Finally, there would be a “Flame Wars” forum where people could let off steam about various issues.

Under Thea Zara’s adminship, the board flourished, virtually becoming a second home to the disaffected Daria fans. For once, porn, in all its sticky glory, had a place where it could be safe. There was sort of a “renaissance of porn works” initially at the SFMB, and it seemed that things were going great on that side of the universe.

However, a few things happened which sort of unhooked the hold that SFMB had on fandom at one time. I’ll mention the forces which would eventually lead to the SFMB’s decline as a co-equal to the PPMB:

• The initial popularity of the SFMB. Oddly enough, the SFMB’s hold as a unique place began to fade with its very popularity. When PPMB regulars began to mingle with SFMB regulars, they would occasionally bump into those who only knew of the SFMB and not the PPMB. Those SFMB newbies were soon dragged over to the PPMB.

The first thought, undoubtedly, of the new arrivals was: “Hey, except for porn, the PPMB has everything I want in a message board!” After a while, it became simpler to go to one place instead of two. You began visiting a place frequently, then infrequently, and then you wonder, “Hey, what the fuck happened to that place we used to go to?”

• The departure of Thea Zara from active moderation. The board never recovered from the loss of her calming influence. Deref is a nice man, and he does all that he can — but I doubt that he can separate his personal relationships from his duties as a moderator. As a moderator, you have to put your foot down, and, if necessary, piss off your friends. I don’t think Deref is capable of doing that.

Good man. Salt of the earth. Bad moderator. Those three properties are not contradictory.

• Flame Wars. Initially, Flame Wars was meant as a place to vent about, well, anyone who bothered you. The idea, initially, was that Flame Wars posts were not to get too personal, except in a jocular way where the people posting there gave as good as they got.

However, something started to happen at Flame Wars. What happened is actually rather hard to explain, and whether it would have happened sooner or later — if not for the bipolar personalities inhabiting the place — will be a matter of conjecture. My own theory, however, is that it would have happened eventually, even if Thea Zara kept a tight rein on the place.

Talking with another fan (who has very wisely stayed out of the dispute), this fan mentioned that (s)he had been on another message board, which also had areas set aside for snarky, flamey discussion. However, setting aside an area for flames and anger is like packing radioactive material in a small, densely packed container. All it takes is the slightest match, and you get fission and radioactive fallout.

The cheapening of discourse eventually spills out into the rest of the fandom. It’s as if there was a bar full of a few belligerent assholes who say, “We should kill that guy down the street,” and before you know it, there’s a pitchfork-wielding mob walking out in wait for the poor sap. It’s the worst of the mob mentality.

However, SFMB could have survived all three of those things, even the third thing, sort of crawling forward like a wounded duck. It’s the fourth thing that will eventually doom it as a message board.

• Lack of content. Frankly, there is no content on SFMB. No original content, anyway, except for pornography, and 95 percent of the fandom just isn’t interested in pornography. Or, at least, not Daria pornography, for the same reasons that they don’t read Yogi Bear pornography, because it’s just not their personal kink. They might have healthy sex lives, but they don’t want to read about Daria in the buff.

Which means that the only real content on SFMB has a very limited audience. True, the work of The Great Saiyaman is great, but I don’t know of anything I’m reading there that I just couldn’t get anywhere else.

Like it or not — content is king. Someone once said, “The most important thing about fandom is the formation of relationships with other people.” Yes, but that’s not what brings one to the fandom. What brings one to the fandom is content. Reading stories about Daria, discussing Daria, and in general, glorifying all that is Our Heroine.

Relationships feed off of that — one finds like-minded people — but really, good people can be found on any chat board.

And without content, that’s what SFMB is: the “porn and slambook” chatboard. The stories I’ve seen at SFMB are usually those mirrored from somewhere else, there only so that those who, for whatever reason, wish to limit their surfing experience to SFMB can read the latest fanfic. Most of those threads have very few page views, because most people are reading those stories at PPMB.

In the end, SFMB will end up like the Rubber Room — a small group of people chatting with each other, and very little about Daria.

I know for a fact that the two malefactors in this brouhaha can’t create content. One never created content in her life. She wouldn’t know content if it bit her on the ass. I mean, if you want to hang around with a psycho, you can have fun doing that but there are psychos on every chat room in the land.

The other malefactor hasn’t written or created anything in years. As far as the active fandom is concerned, she faded away years and years ago.

“But, CINCGREEN,” you ask (they always ask that), “why don’t you join in the big ball of fun at Flame Wars?”

I refer you to the Seigenthaler issue up above. The Wikipedians assumed that that’s what Seigenthaler would do — meet them at their ground, and join in the wonderful editing flame wars, where they would hold all the institutional cards. No. He sued them for libel. That’s when Wikipedia realized the fun was over.

It wasn’t suing that was Seigenthaler’s triumph. It was the fact that the Wikipedians figured that Seigenthaler would be forced to play their game. But he didn’t. He did an end run around them. “Rules? Your rules? I play by my own rules.” They gave him lemons, and he made a Cadillac. Masterful hacking.

“Okay, I get that,” you might ask, “but why yank all of your stuff off of SFMB?”

Well, if I don’t agree with how Deref is moderating the SFMB, and if I think that he’s enabling the worst elements there, then why would I eat up all of his bandwidth, which he has to pay for out of his own pocket, with my little curious tales? It’s sort of like having to accept a collect call from a guy who wants to chew you out — not only does the man say uncomplimentary things, but he makes you pay for the privilege. And I thought that was rather unfair to Deref. (Hey, all that space can now be used for — Flame Wars! Whoopee!)

Like it or not, there are two groups of people in any fandom. Those who create, and those who enjoy the creations. Those groups, whatever you might believe, are not equal. The second group exists because of the first. Sooner or later, everyone comes up against this iron law, this great conundrum.

The health of a fandom is directly related to how much new content is being created. The reason Daria fandom is in decline (in some quarters) is because of the lack of new content. And the way to reverse this trend is to get up off one’s hindquarters, to write, and to draw.

No New Posts for a While

2007-07-06T23:22:00.000-07:00

Jupiter saw what simple and foolish creatures they were, but to keep them quiet and make them think they had a king he threw down a huge log, which fell into the water with a great splash. The Frogs hid themselves among the reeds and grasses, thinking the new king to be some fearful giant. But they soon discovered how tame and peaceable King Log was.

In a short time the younger Frogs were using him for a diving platform, while the older Frogs made him a meeting place, where they complained loudly to Jupiter about the government.

To teach the Frogs a lesson, the ruler of the gods now sent a Crane to be king of Frogland. The Crane proved to be a very different sort of king from old King Log. He gobbled up the poor Frogs right and left and they soon saw what fools they had been. In mournful croaks they begged Jupiter to take away the cruel tyrant before they should all be destroyed. — Aesop

For personal reasons, there will be no new posts for a while until I decide the final fate of the Daria Fandom Blog. If new posts come back, you might with that they had not returned and that the CINCGREEN of old had stayed in retirement.

Right now, I sort of feel like Julius Caesar felt when he saw Brutus standing over him with a knife after he had been shredded sixteen ways to sundown on the Senate floor. “And you, too, Brutus?” he said.

Caesar’s brain was probably looking for the nearest fasces, one of the rods carried by the Protectors of the People, so that he could smile and say to himself, “I’m going to take one of you sonsabitches with me” as he decided which knife-wielding senator was within range.

But when he saw Brutus — noble Brutus! — among his assassins, his heart said, “Oh, fuck it,” and that was the end of Caesar. As Antony said in the funeral oration (according to one W. Shakespeare), that was “the unkindest cut of all.”

I’m coming to the opinion that this fandom does not deserve any of its good points to be registered. None of its stories, none of its essays, nothing. It deserves nothing new or fresh, and nothing more than the proper amount of derision and scorn to be heaped on those who would perpetually leach the good will from those who do their best to keep it alive.

The pendulum has swung too far in the direction of the “nice CINCGREEN.” Perhaps the evil, nasty-as-all-fuck CINCGREEN needs to make a reappearance ...

... but his reappearance might be hailed in some quarters. And I don’t want to give the fandom even the secondary pleasure, the way that I feel right now. I want to bring lamentation and woe.

Kara Wild was right. Sweet baby Jesus. I apologize profusely.

Plastic Surgery Disasters: A Review of “Too Cute”

2007-06-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

Time to add some belated content. June 16, 1997 was the 10th anniversary of the airing of “Too Cute.” If you didn’t remember, you’re not alone — most people have been trying to forget “Too Cute” since it aired.

“Too Cute” was the brainchild of writer Larry Doyle. He would only end up writing one Daria episode, and it would not be the best one, by a long shot. Larry Doyle then moved on to write a few episodes of The Simpsons — not any of the really good episodes, but rather the “second half,” post-peak episodes. After his television work, he has settled on contributing to The New Yorker and Esquire and will soon have a novel made into a film.

You can find out just about everything Larry Doyle is doing here. (Oddly enough, among his many credits, he did not list “Too Cute.” I suppose even he knows it isn’t anything he’d want on his résumé.)

But first, the long and painful recap ... I’ll skip the B-plot and get to the meat and potatoes.

The second scene of “Too Cute” begins with Sandi telling a story to Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie. Sandi finishes her tale of triumph, but the boys want to hear the part about Quinn. When Sandi tells them that Quinn isn’t in the story, they ask Sandi if she could retell the story and put Quinn in it! (Cue to the look of extreme annoyance on Sandi.)

Quinn shows up, but Sandi’s not interested in speaking to Quinn. They are both distracted by hubbub regarding one of the girls at school, Brooke, who appears to have gotten a nose job of Michael-Jackson-esque proportions. The girls “oooh” and “aaah” over Brooke’s new nasal look. Brooke mentions that the nose job was performed by a Dr. Shar, who is supposedly “the best.”

Brooke asks Quinn her opinion, and Quinn says that Brooke’s nosehack is “cute.” Brooke, however, expected something superlative, and Sandi takes the chance to engineer an argument with Quinn, implying that Quinn’s remark was insincere. The argument doesn’t come to a conclusion until Sandi notices Daria and Jane nearby.

Sandi calls Daria over to get the opinion of an “average person.” Tiffany asks Daria if she thinks Brooke’s nose is cute. Brooke looks very hopeful that Daria will say something nice, but Daria’s only comment is “Don’t worry. It’ll grow out.”

Segue to the Morgendorffers at dinner. Undoubtedly, Quinn has brought up the topic of plastic surgery. Helen is against it, although she complains of a double standard, in that professional women are expected to be attractive. Jake is willing to agree with anything if it will get him out of an argument. Quinn, however, thinks her nose has “imperfections” and goes up to her room to obsessively tinker with her face.

Quinn, however, doesn’t plan on letting the matter rest. Feigning sickness, she has the school nurse call Daria out of Mrs. Barch’s class to help escort Quinn home. But Quinn doesn’t plan on going home ... she plans on seeing the esteemed Dr. Shar. She’s called Daria in for escort duty because Daria can be expected to give her honest opinion.

Quinn believes that the rest of the Fashion Club has gone to see Dr. Shar, and wonders why they went without her. (Daria can’t figure it out, since in her opinion, the Fashion Club all have noses like Quinn’s, anyhow.)

The two make it to Dr. Shar’s office and arrive just as the doctor is giving some advice to a patient who claims she can’t breathe through her nose. (The advice is for the patient to breathe through her mouth.) Dr. Shar is ...

... well, she’s a plastic surgery disaster. Bleached hair, permanent tan, cheekbones that could cut through an aluminum can, lips meant for a cow, artificial rackage. She speaks with the accent of a Southern belle and has the eternally sunny attitude to match.

Quinn asks Dr. Shar if she needs a nose job, but Dr. Shar won’t hear of it. “Oh, honey, I wouldn’t touch it ... it would be a crime against nature, and an ethics violation Dr. Shar just doesn’t need right now!”

Instead, Dr. Shar gives Quinn a hard-sell on new cheekbones. With the aid of some computer modeling, Dr. Shar shows that Quinn could be “too cute!” for just six thousand dollars. (The finished result looks absolutely nothing like Quinn, and more in line with the trainwreck Dr. Shar represents.)

Daria makes some cynical comments, and Dr. Shar proposes to give Daria a turn. Despite Daria’s protests, Daria’s picture is mapped into the computer model, Dr. Shar makes the supposed “improvements,” and we finally see that with twenty thousand dollars, Daria can be transformed into ... Quinn.

Dr. Shar tells Daria that she thinks Daria is giving up on herself. She gives Daria a box and tells her to open it when she has free time. On the return bus ride, Quinn bemoans that it will cost six thousand dollars to “fix” her, while Daria finds out that the gift Dr. Shar gave her was a pair of “Pre-Implant Temporary Bust Augmentations — For Evaluation Purposes Only.” In short ... practice boobs.

Quinn returns to school only to find that the Fashion Club are all wearing bandages over their noses — they’ve obviously been to see Dr. Shar. Sandi sarcastically claims that the reason the Fashion Club excluded Quinn was that Quinn was obviously not “shallow” — implying that Quinn considers herself better than her peers — and therefore wouldn’t need the company of supposedly shallow people like the Fashion Club.

The four girls then take notice of the arriving Brooke. It seems that Brooke has had another visit with Dr. Shar, who had performed liposuction to Brooke’s waist and added collagen to her lips. Brooke has now become “super cute.” When Brooke asks if she can join the Fashion Club, Sandi exclaims to Brooke that they might have an opening ... soon.

Jane and Daria meet at Daria’s locker. Jane asks Daria, “Show me your boobs,” but finds the plastic implants rather unimpressive. Upchuck walks by and asks what’s in the box. Daria lets him handle the “merchandise” and then tells him that the plastic sacs are breast implants. Upchuck is skeeved out and flees the scene.

Quinn then tells Daria that she has a plan. Daria will tell her parents that Dr. Shar said she needs human growth hormone. Helen and Jake will pay for the hormone therapy, but instead, Dr. Shar will take the money and perform surgery on Quinn.

Daria declines, leaving Quinn to figure out how to raise the money. Quinn attempts to raise the money by asking for donations, but her attempts are in vain — no one is going to pay six thousand dollars for Quinn’s plastic surgery.

Daria finally tells her sister that Quinn doesn’t need any kind of plastic surgery. “You’ve got the kind of looks that make other girls mentally ill. So stop it. You don’t need any plastic surgery. You’re perfect.” Quinn’s response: “Why do I bother talking to you?”

However, the Fashion Club girls come running by, hanging onto their bandages. As we learn later at the Morgendorffer dinner table, Brooke had a “nasal relapse” — her new nose caved in and all the collagen in her lips moved down to her lower lip, according to the Lawndale High School rumor hotline.

Brooke now looks “less cute than she did before,” and it doesn’t appear that Brooke will be joining the Fashion Club any time soon. Daria dryly states that everyone must be very upset about it. Quinn affirms that the Fashion Club is like a “built-in support group” for each other, and everything is back to normal.

There’s probably more than one Daria fan who has “Too Cute” listed on his or her “ten worst episodes” list. I can name several major flaws off the top of my head rather quickly:

• Poor art direction. Particularly in the backgrounds, which become particularly lazy when Daria and Quinn walk through the RxPlex. The backgrounds look as if they’ve been drawn by a particularly talented sixth grader. (Who knows, maybe the regular animators took a break and some middle schooler got into the studio?)

• Uninteresting new characters. Dr. Shar has to do a lot of heavy lifting in this episode, but she’s about as interesting as Claude and Romanica — more of an over-the-top stereotype than any kind of fascinating character. Shar’s appearance, in particular, is more appropriate for a horror movie than a comedy, and you wonder why Quinn (or anyone) would ever want to have her do plastic surgery. (I’d be afraid of ending up with extra parts.)

Part of the work to make Dr. Shar shine as a character has to be done by the voice actor, and Tracy Lee Bell gives it her all. One could almost imagine Shar as a Southern sorority girl before her med school days, as Bell gives her a genteel Southern accent. I thought Bell did fine work. She, however, suffered from the curse of “Too Cute,” as her only other known voice work anywhere else to date was for the episode “Lucky Strike.”

• A dumb B-plot. The B-plot wasn’t mentioned in the recap because it didn’t deserve a mention. Under the direction of Mrs. Barch, Kevin is required to wear prosthetic makeup to give him a horrible appearance. He then surveys the reactions of passers-by, and they are obviously horrified. Aside from moving Mrs. Barch one notch up the man-hating-harridan scale, this plot is a real time-waster.

• A crappy ending. The A-plot — Quinn’s struggle with the threat to her popularity — comes to a screeching halt with a deus ex machina of the worst kind. Brooke’s surgery goes wrong and she’s no longer cute. Even though Quinn figures that the Fashion Club should at least send Brooke flowers, Quinn appears more relieved than concerned. In fact, Quinn comes off more conceited than ever, and nothing really changes.

• Daria on the sidelines. Daria is given nothing to do. Jane is given even less to do, and Jane’s work in this episode is primarily to react to Daria as narrator.

Daria follows Quinn to Dr. Shar’s for the ostensible reason that Daria will tell Quinn the God’s-honest truth. However, when Daria makes a personal sacrifice and tells Quinn that she’s beautiful (by high-school standards) ... Quinn rebuffs her. It only makes Daria seem even more ineffectual.

• An unlikable main character. In this case, the main character is Quinn. This is Season One Quinn, the stupid Quinn, the fashion-and-popularity obsessed Quinn, the “Daria-is-my-cousin” Quinn. The only good way this episode could end is if Quinn gets her comeuppance from Daria. (They finally get it right in “Monster.”)

However, it appears we’re supposed to sympathize with Quinn. Sandi treats Quinn rather badly ... but wouldn’t you think Quinn deserves it, looking at just the last eight episodes? Quinn treats Daria badly too, blowing off her advice. Furthermore, Quinn’s desperate attempt to raise money for surgery just makes her look dumb. Compared to the theoretically more insightful Quinn, the post-“IIFY” Quinn, the post-“Lucky Strike” Quinn, this one is an embarrassment.

If we’re not supposed to sympathize with Quinn, we still get no reward, because Daria doesn’t do anything to right the situation. Only God sets things right in the end with a nasal relapse, so Quinn never learns anything.

My wife had one comment about this episode — which she had never seen since it first aired. “Boy, this is bad.” There’s really nothing else to say. No. There is. I’ll say it again. “Boy, is this bad.”

“Too Cute” will be known for one good thing: the emergence of “Evil Sandi.” The Sandi Griffin of the other episodes — of “Esteemsters,” “The Invitation,” “Malled” — wasn’t much more than a contemporary of Quinn. The Fashion Club were just a bunch of indistinguishable girls who hung around Quinn.

Larry Doyle, whether on his own or under Eichler’s direction, finally gives Sandi some personality, turning her into what would be called a “mean girl,” a person who uses her popularity to make other people’s lives miserable. It works, because many of us knew girls just like that in high school.

The show needed Evil Sandi. Not only is there a plot device that can be used to make life more difficult for the super-popular Quinn, but Evil Sandi is the first sign that the Fashion Club will be given personalities of their own (Two-Faced Tiffany and Neurotic Stacy). The only drawback would be that fan-fiction writers would make Sandi truly evil, evil at levels of cartoon supervillainy. (Maybe the fanfic character should be called “Evil Sand[h]i.”)

The argument could be made that Daria is neither as attractive nor as busty as fans would like to make her out to be, if one argues from this episode. A man in Dr. Shar’s waiting room thinks that Daria is in dire need of plastic surgery. Furthermore, Dr. Shar gives Daria some take-home bust implants, implying that Daria might be a bit underdeveloped. The remark about “human growth hormone” implies that Daria is short for her age.

And what kind of surgery did the Fashion Club members get from Dr. Shar? Are they wearing bandages over surgery, or just to hide their noses? I can’t figure that out.

Only a few good lines in this one:

Guy (complaining to receptionist at Dr. Shar’s): Hey, wait! We were here first! (sees Daria) Oh, whoa! Emergency! I understand!

Tiffany: It’s Brooke’s new nose. Isn’t it cute?
(Brooke looks hopeful, waiting for Daria’s response)
Daria: Don’t worry ... it’ll grow out.

Daria: You don’t need surgery, Quinn. (sighs) I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, and I’ll deny I ever said it, but there’s nothing wrong with you. Physically.

Jane: Oh, Daria. Don’t be shy. Show me your boobs.
(Daria shows Jane the box containing the silicone implants.)
Jane: Hmm. Why did I think this would be more interesting?

The Cool-Down Period

2007-06-18T16:30:00.001-07:00

Okay, that’s it. I’ve been following “with much interest” the “Greybird is a jerk” thread on SFMB. There has been some complaining about bannination.

Frankly ... I don’t care. I’m in the middle of a ridiculous workload right now and the absolute last thing I’m interested in doing is moderating a pissing contest. I don't give a rat’s ass if y’all want to make fun of Greybird — I figure that as a grown man, he oughta be able to take care of himself — but I don’t need my fresh comment threads cluttered up by jackassery.

Maybe you should just send him some mail, or something. He does have an e-mail and private messaging. That’s where comments to Greybird belong, not here.

Therefore, I just set HaloScan to “moderation.” Nothing gets posted here without me reading it first and approving it. You can make all of your “CINCGREEN is a jerk” posts, and rest assured, I’ll read them and treat them with all the respect ... they deserve. I’m armor-plated.

By the way, this is not “taking Greybird’s side.” I would have done things differently. But everyone who has had ops on this blog — Jackie Dobson, Frank Sinisterra, Greybird — has been given leave to run things however they wanted to. To delete comments they wanted to, to post comments they wanted to, to have pretty much co-ownership.

The blog just works better that way, without some co-owner having to mail me all the time and asking if something can be done or not.

So now there’s gonna be a cool-down period. So I say, “Chill.” Get some liquor. Take off your socks. Fire up your favorite Daria episode. And create some content, why don't ya?

Now That’s a Portal!

2007-06-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

If Daria and Jane would’ve looked this hot now, the two Dariafen boards would rule the Net, don’t’cha think? (Courtesy of Reese Kaine.)

And as a follow-up on those boards’ being reworked, apparently it’s their transfer to the new phpBB software that’s more or less finished, not the move to a new physical server. Kara Wild posted notes here.

14 June: PPMB will be locked (read-only) for several hours, to move it to the new server, during the evening (U.S. time) of Friday, 15 June. SFMB has already made the transition.

15 June: PPMB’s move began at about 9 pm ET. Unlike with the software transition, though, the board’s contents aren’t available to read.

16 June: And the move finished at about 2 am ET. All appears to be working.

Spiffitude, Man!

2007-06-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

... As Trent might say. The PPMB is fully transferred to its new server, with posting being allowed again.

And both PPMB and SFMB have been reworked with a new look, provided by phpBB’s updated software! This offers several more user features, such as “Friends and Foes” lists — check out all the parts of the User Control Panel.

It also gives more admin control over such issues as spam registrations. Already, much of that overhang which had been endangering SFMB’s stability has been removed.

I hope that the current clean look on both boards will be preserved as an optional “skin,” even if more tweaks are added later. (PPMB still needs its logo.)

Thanks to the board admins and to Gamer for all the effort in this transition!

“And everyone else is full of ...”: “Pinch Sitter”

2007-06-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

For several weeks, MTV had taken Daria off the air, leaving the nascent fandom with only seven episodes to obsessively watch over and over again until the tape broke. On June 9, 1997, the eighth episode of Daria was aired, “Pinch Sitter,” and new episodes would continue week by week until the first season was finally over.

My initial goal in watching these shows was to plot the slow progress of the characters, tropes, and detail of the Daria universe from episode to episode. This involved a self-imposed restriction: namely, not to refer to episodes that took place after the most recently-reviewed episode.

However, “Pinch Sitter” is so tempting in that respect that I’ll be breaking that rule after the recap, and write about what people thought it was about, and why it might be a more important episode than one might think when one looks at the episodes that followed it.

A quick (HA!) recap ...

The show begins with Mr. DeMartino giving a lecture on the massacre at Jonestown. After a few jokes, he tells the class that he expects each member of the class to write an essay about a cult.

Quinn, who doesn’t have the “cult” assignment, has other goals — namely, to try to find someone who will take over her weekend baby-sitting commitment. She tries sweet-talking a young man named Ronnie into taking over, but Ronnie concludes that Quinn has no intention of ever going out with him, and Quinn tells him, without malice, that no, she doesn’t. She plans on going out with Skylar Feldman, whose family has a boat.

Ronnie tells Quinn that she can forget him taking over and she should ask “her sister” to babysit, as Daria doesn’t look like she’ll be having busy weekends any time soon. (This proves the Fashion Club members aren’t the only people at LHS who know that Quinn is Daria’s sister.)

Daria and Quinn discuss the prospective deal for Daria to babysit. Even though Daria “didn’t like kids when [she] was a kid,” the prospect of $6 an hour (Quinn later adds a $2-per-hour bonus) and time to write her essay is tempting. However, she’s opposed as a matter of principle to helping Quinn out with anything.

Helen, however, walks by and reminds the girls that the Morgendorffers are hosting a “couples’ night” with a “focus on teens” — and she expects both Daria and Quinn to be there. Quinn bails out because she has the “commitment” of a scheduled date with Skylar Feldman. This leaves Daria, but Daria also bails out because she has a “commitment” ... to babysit. Daria has clearly chosen the lesser of two evils.

Helen has found out that Daria will be babysitting for the Guptys — a family that usually calls Quinn as their primary babysitter. Helen feels that Quinn has broken a commitment, but Quinn complains that she accidentally “overbooked.” Helen offers to help Quinn get her time-management skills under control with a visit to time management expert Deena Decker.

Daria chats with the Guptys on the phone. After the pleasant but odd conversation, Daria imposes a $10 surcharge if she has to spend more than 15 minutes with them. Quinn, who probably knows the Guptys very well, thinks that’s fair.

Helen and Quinn show up in Deena Decker’s office. Helen and Quinn each are asked to state their list of priorities.

Helen:
1) Spend more time with the family
2) Break through firm’s glass ceiling
3) Beat Carly Fishbeck in the library board election
4) Get spice back into marriage

After Quinn states her embarrassment, Helen changes this last to “Window treatments for living room.” After Helen learns from Deena that one must be honest, she moves “Get spice back into marriage” to number one.

Quinn:
1) Dating
2) Shopping
3) Bouncy hair
4) School

Quinn is given her own personal planner. Once she finds out that it comes in coral with matching makeup accessories, she feels she can be “attractive, popular, and organized.”

Everyone goes their own way. Quinn is busy recording the bonus points for Skylar’s expensive car on her Teen Life Runner. Daria, armed with some babysitting tips from Jane, is ready to face the inevitable. Jake wishes that he could go babysit, dreading the upcoming couples’ night and its enforced sensitivity.

When Daria reaches the Gupty house, she finds that the interior and exterior are decorated with the sort of brick-a-brack from Reader’s Digest. Lauren Gupty asks Daria to wait in the living room until the Guptys are ready to leave.

While waiting, Daria flashes back to the times when someone had to babysit Daria and Quinn. The flashback scenes show:

Daria throwing a fit because Quinn is crying and isn’t being “punished.”
Daria and Quinn fighting on the floor, exchanging “brain” and “brat” as insults.
Daria informing her babysitter’s boyfriend that the babysitter stuffs her bra. Quinn informs him that she’ll be ready to date ... in four years.

The Guptys finally come downstairs and introduce Daria to their “little monsters,” Tad and Tricia. They appear to be sweet, well-behaved kids. The Guptys inform Daria of their schedule for the night’s activities. The schedule is broken into fifteen-minute blocks, with such activities as “discuss current events,” “snack,” and “post-snack flossing.”

After the parents leave, Daria informs Tad and Tricia they can drop “the act.” This merely confuses them, as their abnormally good behavior doesn’t appear to be an act. Daria makes the decision to turn on the TV, but not only have all channels except for “The Forecast Channel” been locked out, the kids almost robotically recite “Commercials are bad” and “Commercials lie” whenever a commercial comes on.

While Quinn is evaluating Skylar in her planner at Chez Pierre without his knowledge, Daria deals with the sometimes-robotic, other times sickeningly sweet Gupty children. When the two kids sing a sappy self-esteem song to the tune of a worn-out record, Daria is at her wit’s end and invites the kids to play “Cemetery” — a game Jane had told Daria about if she ever ran out of things to do.

Daria waits for Jane, but Jane must wait for her ride from Trent, which leaves Daria to deal with the kids again. Tad and Tricia tell Daria that they always do what adults tell them to do. Daria asks the children what they would do if two different adults gave them contradictory advice, and the question reduces Tad to tears.

By the time Jane arrives, Daria has consented to letting the Gupty kids braid her hair — truly, it must be a major concession for Daria. Jane has no problem dealing with the Gupty kids, as unlike Daria, Jane has practical baby-sitting experience.

The Guptys ask Daria and Jane to read them a bedtime story, but all Daria or Jane can find are politically correct children’s materials and books like Mr. Potty Goes to Town.

However, there are some classic children’s tales available. Daria and Jane put their ... uh ... spin on the endings of these stories. The kids like the altered stories better, and after Daria and Jane share important information with them (such as that no one will ever ask to see your “permanent record” when you are an adult), Tad and Tricia are astounded at how smart Daria and Jane are.

“Gee, Mom and Dad never told us that people can think for themselves,” says Tricia. She, however, asks Daria and Jane that if it is true that adults can lie, how do they know that Daria and Jane aren’t liars? “You don’t ... and that’s the greatest lesson of all,” says Daria.

After Jane figures out how to unlock the channels on the Gupty TV, Daria and Jane prepare for Sick, Sad World viewing — only to have Tad and Tricia come bounding down to watch. “Just don’t tell your parents we let you stay up late,” says Daria. “Do we look stupid or something?” answers Tad. Clearly, Tad and Tricia have learned a lot from Daria and Jane.

At the Morgendorffer house, Skylar asks Quinn when they will be able to date again. Skylar is suspicious of Quinn’s note-taking, and after grabbing the planner, finds that Quinn has already scheduled her breakup with Skylar in September — because there is another boy who has a ski house.

The Guptys return, happy that Daria had no trouble with the kids. Daria turns her babysitting experience into an essay on mind-control deprogramming, and gets high marks from Mr. DeMartino. Meanwhile, Mr. and Mrs. Gupty find out that Tad and Tricia have changed the lyrics to their self-esteem song ... and they find that they don’t know their kids as well as they thought they did ...

Over the previous seven episodes, Daria had been written as a “Bugs Bunny” type character. One who basically would like nothing better than to be left alone, but forces disturb her tranquility, so Daria makes sure to set things straight in the end.

This is probably the first episode of a truly pro-active Daria. Unlike previous episodes, Daria was actually given a legitimate choice (so to speak) — she could have attended couples' therapy night, or could have babysat. Not much of a choice, but at least she was not being compelled to choose one outcome over another one.

This is also the first episode of the “Babe in the Woods” trope. This occurs when a character meets another character who doesn’t seem to have any practical knowledge about ... well ... anything. The second character is completely clueless, and the first character resolves to set the second character straight about modern life. Shows like Mork and Mindy, Taxi, and Perfect Strangers used this trope over and over again.

Daria finds Tad and Tricia’s sheltered life rather disturbing, until the end, where Daria and Jane make the deliberate choice to “deprogram” the kids. Tad and Tricia are given a bit of street smarts by Daria and Jane, and a bit of sassmouth at the end, and this change in them is portrayed as a change for the better.

Up to this point in the series, we really don’t know what Daria stands for. We know what she doesn’t like, but only with “This Year’s Model” did we get any impression that Daria had any core beliefs of her own.

Fans, however, seemed to draw the wrong lesson from “Pinch Sitter.” They came to believe that Daria was an advocate of subversion of the status quo, a person who wanted everyone else to be as cynical and suspicious of authority as she was.

Most of the early fanfic reflected that, with Daria in opposition to something that was too “normal” — say a prom, or a dance, or some sort of school competition — and working actively to undo it or destroy it because it displeased her.

How fans got the conclusion from “Pinch Sitter” that Daria was some sort of anarchist — a person who is in opposition to authority because it is authority — is unknown. But that conclusion seemed to fit the pattern of the “Daria Triumphant” fan fiction of the first two seasons, and, oddly enough, might have cemented Daria’s popularity with the fans.

Daria was now a combination of misanthrope and crusader, and what was worse, she could put on and take off these roles whenever it seemed convenient for the writer.

“I am cool, and that is it, and everyone else is full of” ... shit. A motto used for humor at the end of the episode, but unfortunately, too many fans took it seriously. It could have been the motto of much of early Daria fanfiction, and, unfortunately, it became the personal motto of some of the fans in early fandom.

As it turned out, this was the second episode written by Anne Bernstein. It’s a funny episode, and it has a lot of funny lines, but it never explores any consequences of this change in Tad and Tricia’s behavior.

I suppose it was a smart thing for Ms. Bernstein to end the episode where it was ended. I don’t think it would have been that funny for the viewers to see the Gupty parents take away the record player and ground the kids for a week for being potty mouths. (Also notice that Daria is never asked by the Guptys to come back and babysit again over the next fifty-nine episodes.)

Indeed, it’s not an episode as complex and as rich as “The Invitation,” the first episode written by Ms. Bernstein. The only enlightening parts of the episode were a look back into the relationship between Daria and Quinn — a relationship that had apparently always been acrimonious — and a look at Daria’s complete inability (at first) to deal with or understand children. Her discomfort at the Guptys’ is palpable.

Part of the problem with the episode was the choice to end it with some kind of moral. The danger in ending an episode with a moral when there is no obvious moral to be found is that a writer might choose the wrong moral — and the fans picked up the wrong moral and ran with it for two years.

It would have been a much stronger and more realistic episode if, like “The Invitation,” the episode ended with no moral, just a wacky story about Daria’s bizarre experience in babysitting the Gupty children. (The punchline could have been that the Guptys wanted Daria back!)

... And now we look back, using the knowledge of future episodes to examine this particular episode.

My first comment is that Lester and Lauren Gupty are not malicious parents. They might be overly protective, and a bit misguided, but one gets the sense that they love their children and care for them. One also gets the sense that this feeling is reciprocated, and that neither Tad nor Tricia hate their parents in any way or resent them for their overprotectiveness.

Further proof is that Daria writers Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil dust off the “Babe in the Woods” trope and use it again in “The New Kid.” Once again, we have a character that seems clueless of the world around him — in this case, the character is Ted DeWitt-Clinton.

However, Ted’s parents are not just overprotective, but actively paranoid about the dangers of the outside world, believing that the Beatles and chewing gum have the power to lead their sweet, innocent Ted to become a corporate sellout and a Tool of the Machine™.(It’s kind of odd that Daria isn’t as willing to “subvert Ted’s paradigm” as she was willing to “deprogram” the Guptys.)

I’ll even play Devil’s Advocate: How in the fuck was it Daria’s business to do what she did with the Gupty kids? The Guptys never asked Daria for their help in child rearing. The Guptys could argue that Daria seems like a miserable, distrustful, and unfriendly person at heart ... so why do Tad and Tricia need Daria’s philosophical advice?

We can argue about that later, but the fact is that Tad and Tricia are only about six or seven years old. They’re not that capable of making adult decisions, and Daria and Jane’s misguided attempt to help might lead Tad and Tricia to implicitly distrust authority figures that might have their best interests at heart.

At some level, Tad and Tricia need protection from the outside world, and the only real argument is how much protection they need. Do they need to be turned into cynics when they still believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? (Or perhaps, in the case of the Guptys, when they still believe in the Kwanzaabot?)

When I saw this episode with my wife, she suggested another motive for Daria in doing what she did — jealousy. Yes, the Guptys are overprotective. But they also love their kids and probably have a great deal of involvement in their children’s lives.

Whereas Daria has, till this point, been the victim of parental neglect. For most of Daria’s youth (“Boxing Daria”), Jake had been the breadwinner and primarily an absentee figure in the children’s lives. Now, the roles are reversed, and Helen is the breadwinner and workaholic mom. For most of Daria’s and Quinn’s lives, either one or both parents have simply not taken part in building Daria and Quinn as people.

Jake has paid the heavier price. Now that he is a “consultant” (a lousy one who makes no money), you would think he has all the free time in the world to get to know his kids. The problem is, his kids are now teenagers and he’s been absent for so long that he can’t connect. (“Cat’s in the Cradle” cues up in the background.)

He doesn’t even know the most essential information about Daria or Quinn, and now prefers to hide from any sort of conflict that might illustrate just how absent a figure he’s been. Or he prefers to drown his sorrows in a martini and ruminate as to how his own absent and emotionally abusive father destroyed him.

Helen still tries to be an influence in the lives of Quinn and Daria, although “Psycho Therapy” implies that she’s essentially given up on Quinn. But she’s like Jake — she really doesn’t know how to relate to them, except professionally at first, when she rides to the rescue like Custer’s cavalry on horseback to provide use of a legal threat to Ms. Li in “Arts ’n’ Crass.”

Only later in the series does the relationship between Helen and Daria reach the point where Daria doesn’t automatically assume the worst of Helen.

As for Jane, her parents have been absent in the truest sense of the term — physically absent. Amanda and Vincent are essentially self-centered hippies who, for all of their cant about peace and togetherness, see no problem with hiking to Iceland and literally abandoning their own children like feral cats who can take care of themselves.

Jane’s parents simply lack any sense of responsibility, and this ethos has filtered down to all of the Lane children in one way or another, with Jane being the only child who has a chance to escape it.

So maybe there is a tinge of jealousy — or, if not, a tinge of sadness and regret — in Daria and Jane. It’s an interesting thought, that Daria and Jane might be hurting more than helping.

The story of the back relationship between Daria and her parents is much more interesting than the story being told in “Pinch Sitter.” Indeed, the “B story” of Quinn’s time-management skills falls flat. One suspects that it’s a prop that’s used to hide the weaknesses of the “A story,” but only serves to illustrate those weaknesses all the more clearly.

This is the first (and only) appearance of Skylar Feldman, who was pressed into the role of “Figure of Menace” in Martin Pollard’s “Sins of the Past.” To this day, Skylar is still seen as some fundamentally bad person ... although from what I can see, his only sin was that he was even more conceited than Quinn is.

Of course, in terms of the lines and dialogue, “Pinch Sitter” is one of the funniest Daria episodes ...

Ronnie: You want me to take over your baby-sitting job?
I’m not sure, Quinn.
Quinn: Please?Just this once? You’re the only person I can
trust to do this, Ronnie. I can tell by your eyes ...
Ronnie: Really?
Quinn: Yeah! They’re so ... sincere!
Ronnie: Well ...
Quinn: And your face, it’s very ... honest! You’re so nice,
and dependable, and ...
Ronnie: “Nice”? “Sincere”? ... You’re never gonna go out
with me, are you?
Quinn: ... No.

Jane: Hey, there’s Quinn with one of her many admirers.
Daria: She’s well liked among classmates of both sexes,
and yet, strangely, she turns my stomach.

Ronnie: Skylar Feldman?
Quinn: His family has a boat! It’s almost summer!
Ronnie: Yeah, right. Ask him to baby-sit for you.

Quinn: But I didn’t mean to double-book. It’s hard to keep
track of dates when you’re attractive and popular!
Helen: I can’t have another fiasco like last Saturday night.
Think of how it must have felt when those three boys all
showed up here at the same time!
Quinn: It felt great!

Jake: Hey, Daria, where are you going? It’s couples therapy night!
Daria: Baby-sitting job, Dad.
Jake (to himself): ... wish I had a baby-sitting job ...

Daria: Your parents put one of those lock-out things on here,
didn’t they? All I’m getting is “The Forecast Channel” ...
Tad and Tricia: Yay! The five-day report!

Quinn: Oh, Skylar, you’re number one in my book ... by
fourteen points!

Tricia: Sugar is bad.
Tad: Sugar rots your teeth.
Tricia: Sugar makes you hyper.
Tad: Hitler ate sugar.

Jane: “All hail, Pippi Longstocking!” Hey, Trent, come look at this!

Lauren: I just love the new picture in your living room!
Daria: You were at my house?
Lauren: Yes, and we had a breakthrough tonight ... your father cried!

Mr. DeMartino: Brittany, although your topic — “The Cult of Abs” — was an intriguing one ...

The Wiki by the Numbers

2007-06-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

In light of Greybird’s post on the Daria Fandom Wiki, “Wiki Wacky,” I decided to take a purely quantitative look at the recent activity there.

Using the Wiki’s “Recent Changes” page, I generated a list of the last 500 changes to the “(Main)” namespace (to exclude changes to “User:” and “Talk:” pages), with changes flagged as minor omitted.

One annoying perl program later, I had two comma-separated files I could feed into Excel. Here’s the executive summary:

135 articles were changed
Only 38 of these 135 articles accounted for more
than 75% of the 500 changes
The most changed article was the one on Stacy Rowe,
with 52 or 10.4% of the changes
23 authors made these changes
Only five authors of the 23 accounted for more than
81% of the 500 changes
The most active author was The Angst Guy, with
163 or 32.6% of the changes

For the curious, PDFs from the Excel worksheets are available for download, of changes by article and by author. This is from a page generated at about 4 pm EDT Saturday, so naturally things have changed since then.

New Server Cooking

2007-06-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

The PPMB is currently being transferred to its promised new and faster server, and that’s why access to the board has been spotty for about the last 18 hours. It’s either been out of operation or, when available, has turned off the ability to make new posts.

Reports from Gamer, via AIM chatters, say that the PPMB was grabbing too much attention from the server’s processor, which caused the funky shutdown messages many received yesterday. No posts were lost, but Gamer is taking this as a good occasion to make the server swap.

Wiki Wacky

2007-06-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

I’ll make an assessment, falling short of an outright prediction: The Daria [fandom] Wiki, newly adorned with a spiffy logo showing Our Heroine, has potential.

That potential, unfortunately, is for it to become the most divisive element in what’s left of the fandom. I wasn’t around to see most of the earlier battles first-hand, but I’ve read many of the words in their wake by now, and I’ve seen their like in other fandoms.

From what I’ve gathered, battles over this wiki may rival “Trent vs. Tom,” “Shippers vs. Dramatists,” and, yes, even “Everyone vs. CINCGREEN.”

I’ve not been much of a fan of wikis, either in theory or in practice. I said so directly to Jimmy (Jimbo) Wales, the man who put the Big Kahuna of wikis, Wikipedia, on the map. He and I corresponded for several years, both privately and, through an individualist-oriented list, in public.

When the idea of Wikipedia was broached, it tried to take up a potent notion from free-market economists, that of a spontaneous or emerging order. Many elements of our lives end up being organized not by someone being in control, but by millions of individual choices interacting to produce a larger phenomenon. “By human action, but not by human design.” Marketplaces, languages, and most scientific interplay all tend to function this way.

Jimbo thought that an encyclopedia could be assembled this way — by setting only the broadest of ground rules, creating a foundation for funding, and letting millions of contributors write on what interested them or what they were trained to do. With everyone being able to edit every page.

I saw this as being highly dubious, and said so. It suggested that not merely a workable set of interactions, but a reference work of considerable authority, could be created by millions of edits that had no standards applied to them. It ignored that even in an emerging order, parts of it would only become stable by human design and guidance. That’s why, even though language is “alive,” dictionaries are still published to record and frame usage.

Jimbo thought my concerns were excessive, and proceeded with it all nonetheless. I have to say, now, that we both ended up being correct, in different ways. Wikipedia has pulled in many knowledgeable people, despite their work often not standing for long as they’ve written it — often at considerable effort.

On the other hand, an intricate apparatus of rules and procedures has grown up by mutual consent, making it much less spontaneous in its organization. Order has indeed been emerging, often painfully slowly.

What has fueled an enterprise of that size, though, has been that it’s tried to cover nearly everything, in an audacious way that hasn’t been seen in nearly 250 years, since the height of the Enlightenment and the French “encyclopedists.”

And the Wikipedia project has drawn on vast numbers of participants from every walk of life. That’s usually diluted personal enthusiasms from skewing vast portions of it one way or the other.

Dariadom, sadly, doesn’t have millions in it. It probably never even had thousands. It has a few hundred, by now, if that, all with passion for one series. And such a project is weakened, and personal conflicts magnified, if it’s ruled by enthusiasms.

I’d say the most daunting weakness of the Fandom Wiki, thus far, is quite simple. Everyone involved knows each other. That is, outside of the wiki. Few do, by contrast, at Wikipedia, where pretty much all that one can be is what one posts.

Here, though, all the participants have longer or shorter connections elsewhere, mostly over fanworks, but also through general discussions. Those provide an illusion, a common and seductive one on the Net: We often assume that we know all about others’ contexts and scope of knowledge. Well, we don’t.

Those who share a more abstract interest, in tussling over a Wikipedia entry and its nuances, have more of an incentive to stick to the facts. Especially when the object of their struggle is a third party, event, institution, historical fact, scientific issue, or public figure.

Those who share an enthusiasm, as with Dariafen, have glosses from their passions and personal interactions to add to the mix. And the subject matter involves other human beings more directly, not as third parties. Those factors make it far harder to be objective.

The wiki is too personal, in more than one sense. Some who’ve described themselves have gone on at nearly absurd lengths. Others are loath to edit such pages. Their subjects are known from elsewhere, and sparred with on message boards, and why would such edits be made, if they would endanger other relationships?

On the other hand, some are quite ready to classify others into categories that they see as being appropriate, ignoring that others are, indeed, more than what they post. Trying to create something “objective” tramples on the richness of viewpoint and nuance that is often readily available.

I’ll give my own example. The entry at the DFW describing me was initially set up by someone else, who not only noted (some of) the facts of what I’ve done in Dariadom, but also felt compelled to add some categorizing. I was, supposedly, a “fan-fiction prescriptivist” and a “controversial figure.”

Well, I demur on both points, and for different reasons. I’ve sought definitions and contrasts in fan fiction, trying to get a handle on what starts to diverge in excess from the original material, not to “prescribe” what others should do, but to make a stab at paying proper respect to the original creators.

And as to “controversy,” I find that difficult to measure. Anyone with pointed or unsheathed opinions, especially about art, is going to have others who aren’t pleased with them. To say that personal pique is the same as principled disagreement makes no sense. Controversy, as such, also measures someone by how others react to them, not by what he or she says.

I removed such categorizing. I didn’t want it, and I placed a statement on the “talk” portion of the page about me that said so. (That’s not the same as the personal page which exists from having registered as a member of the wiki project. I posted it there, though, as well, for reference.)

The category-building around other people has proceeded vigorously, though. Not everyone seems to mind. Where this spills over into weakening the project is where “edit wars” go on, especially involving personal descriptions.

One such war is raging at the moment over Stacy, the character, and her partisan Starmeshelion. Too many of the words, changes, and reversions are made because some have a general revulsion to Stars’ particular enthusiasm. He wants to highlight shades of opinion that he sees as distinct, and others are removing them or making them appear less important.

Why, though, are they doing so? Is this from being genuinely concerned that a discussion of Stacy is going astray? Is it from being frustrated or annoyed with Stars for his concerns or wording, or for his demeanor elsewhere? It’s difficult to separate these issues.

You can’t easily create a reference work with a “neutral point of view,” or even make a stab at it, when personal assessments are ground into the mixture. Either in citing others’ takes — or what one thinks are others’ takes — on a subject. Or in ruling out discussion aspects because someone else’s enthusiasm is annoying. That’s why detached, neutral editors and writers exist.

Nobody, though, is detached at this Fandom Wiki. Too much is bound up with every major player having commented on, joked with, beta-read for, or battled with the other players in other forums.

It makes for a fun “club,” or, as one DFWer said at the PPMB, “All the cool kids are there.” Yet the push toward a reference work heightens the battles, and risks blowing up personal differences beyond their real importance.

I’d hope this doesn’t come true, but for now, I see too much potential for real, complex, living people to be hurt by what others want to do to describe them, or to put them in verbal boxes, at this wiki.

Nobody who doesn’t share the enthusiasm for the series is present, or is likely to even visit ... just the “cool kids.” I’d say that objectivity requires more than a few who aren’t passionate, if only to drive by and say, “You’re being too personal here.” Or, for that matter, “You really need to clean up your grammar and spelling.”

It’s a paradox: A tool for insiders may be made better only by being shaped, in part, by outsiders.

We’ll see what happens. I wish the project well, but more to the point, I want to see the fans taking part in it remaining civil with one another.

Fansites Are Popping

2007-05-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

A fanworks catch-up will be coming soon, but until then, news of Dariasites:

• We’ve added a link to Eccles’s growing Lawndale Sun-Herald fansite to the sidebar. He’d still like fanworks material for it!

• Kemical Reaxion has told us that her colorful, but now dormant, Glitter Berries site will soon be moved to a free Web-host service, so that it’ll remain readily accessible. She’ll let us know when the new location goes live.

• In the past week, I’ve stored the state-of-the-moment for Daria fansites, including the DFB and its HaloScan comments. Ten sites thus far, with a sub-site still to come. I’ll be glad to copy these, with their custom access menu, to your blank CD-R. If interested, e-mail me at the address in my profile.

• Scissors is also creating full Website archives (as are others). He’s making these compressed ZIP files, along with some of mine, available for download. (He’s getting clearances from Webmasters, when possible, and will soon be updating that page.)

• HSX, Scissors, and several others are collaborating on a new fansite, to be called Lawndale Online, and tentatively scheduled to debut on 9 July. It will use many of the Outpost Daria archives. They intend to provide abilities to self-upload, comment about, and rate fanworks. For details, see this PPMB thread or bookmark this Fandom Wiki entry.

• The Angst Guy plans more updates and tweaking for works stored on his site, which may soon have a contents page as well. I’ll bet this go-round will include the long-awaited, just-posted tenth installment of his “Pause in the Air” stories.

Oh, and our own site has a tweak at the top of the page, as well ...

Is Daria Fandom “No Fun Anymore”?

2007-05-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

On one of the message boards, one of the posters wrote:

Hell, bring it up. Just another long-standing example of how it’s becoming less and less fun being in Daria fandom. There’s the occasional fanfic, but aside from a burst of posts over the past couple of weeks. ... This was supposed to be about having fun.

Combine that with Martin Pollard’s decision to no longer update Outpost Daria, and the question in the header comes to mind: Is Daria fandom less “fun” than it used to be?

The approach of a sophist might be: Define fun. Such an approach doesn’t go anywhere, as “fun” is an essential idea, one that can only be defined by words that already mean close to the same thing as “fun”: “enjoyable,” “pleasurable,” “amusing.” I suppose the question we’re asking is really a question made up of other questions:

1: Are the people as nice as they used to be?
2: Are the stories better?
3: Is the discussion more interesting?
4: Does the general atmosphere promote pleasantness?
(And is “pleasantness” a real word?)

So let’s take these one at a time:

1: Are the people as nice as they used to be? I chuckle at that one. Frankly, I’ve never known the people in Daria fandom to be particularly nice at all. That’s not particularly a problem. Some people just like to argue, and some people take great pleasure in being assholes.

I mean, face it. Our object of worship is a cynical, sarcastic teenage girl who pretty much rejects any concept of “niceness.” You might get a “Hi” out of Daria if you seem particularly smart, and don’t say anything that could be construed as stupid.

That might be a big problem in Daria fandom — it attracts people who are drawn to its anti-social character, people who are themselves anti-social, or people who see themselves in real life as being opposed to some outer authority.

I remember when Daria fandom used to be much nastier than it is today. There was a lot of “clueless newbie” abuse and the Masters of Fandom had formed very tight cliques — and they weren’t averse to making the “argument from authority,” either. What was the worst part of it all is that most of those same people patted themselves on their back about how much nicer and kinder they were than other real-life people! (Despite, of course, bragging about how sarcastic they were during some real-life situation or another.)

Face it — today, Daria fandom is a quantum leap nicer. The administrators at PPMB generally make an effort to be nice to people — no matter how new, how clueless, or how obnoxious those people might be. The more egregious offenders have left of their own accord (and in some rare cases, been driven out). People who wouldn’t have been tolerated for three message-board posts in the old fandom are encouraged in the new one. (Sometimes, sadly encouraged.)

If you have a beef with one particular überfan, well, that might not make your experience pleasant. Generally, however, I claim that Daria fandom is a nicer place than it used to be.

2: Are the stories better? The stories are better, definitely. I think, however, that we’re seeing a general movement away from fan-fiction writing, and that is not better.

I’m to blame for part of this. In the old days, people would just submit any old turd to fanfiction.net, stuff that was barely spell-checked, much less beta-read. There was a whole lot of fanfic out there. A whole lot of it wasn’t good, but there was a freedom of expression not seen in today’s fandom, a willingness to throw any old crap out there and see if it sticks.

After a while, however, I’ve noticed (and contributed to) a decreased tolerance for bad fan fiction. It’s not as if there’s an army of CINCGREENs out there saying, “Boy, that story you just wrote was a frozen shitsicle.” Rather, the old fandom was more of a Special Olympics — “Everyone gets a prize for bad fanfic!” You could write anything and get ten people praising you for how great it was. (Then again, I’m sure people were just glad to see fanfic of any kind.)

Today, I’ve seen some fanfic not get any comments at all, either at PPMB or at fanfiction.net. Were those stories bad? I don’t know, but there’s no ego-boosting going on. This has good consequences, but it also has bad consequences.

Frankly, people want to be recognized for their work, else they wouldn’t write fan fiction at all. There has to be some way to say, “I acknowledge your work, and I’m glad you wrote it — I just don’t think it’s as good as it could be.” (But try posting that, and see what reception you get.)

Furthermore, people like E.A. Smith and The Bug Guy and The Angst Guy might have also had an inadvertently detrimental effect on fan fiction. The Angst Guy, for example, ruthlessly edits his work and always has it beta-read. He brings his skills as a professional writer to the task, and the quality of his work clearly shows.

The results are works that are so polished that they might intimidate a beginning writer. “I’m not going to be able to write something as good as ‘Darkness’ or the ‘Love’s Labours Trilogy,’ so why should I try?”

I don’t know how to solve this problem. I don’t know if there’s any solution. Maybe I simply ought to do as Kara Wild once suggested, and start reviewing fan fiction again, so at least the fandom will be talking about fan fiction as opposed to talking about other scattered interests. (Of the six forums on PPMB, only two are devoted to fanac.)

3: Is the discussion more interesting? I think the discussion is more or less the same. It’s worse in some ways, better in others.

I’ll explain. If you’ve been kicking around fandom as long as I have, it seems that everything has been “talked out.” Everything has been debated to death. “Where is Lawndale?” “Are Daria and Jane gay?” “Why did Daria kiss Tom?”

All of this stuff has been asked and answered and asked and answered, to the point where some of the more obsessive fans (i.e., most of us) feel that the “text” of Daria has been examined to the nth degree. Most fans have already formed strong opinions on certain canon matters, and it would take a very persuasive argument to budge us from those positions.

On the other hand, side discussion is more interesting because I think the people are, well, smarter now than they were in the past. The people who were in fandom in 1999 are eight years wiser and just a little bit smarter.

Furthermore, the fans that moved in afterwards were real intellectuals, and not just poseurs — the newcomers were people well-versed in medicine, or politics, or philosophy, or the arts. You couldn’t just get away with flimsy arguments on certain topics, because there was someone who could quote chapter and verse at you. When reading these arguments, one did not get the sense one was being lectured to. Rather, one could “learn something new every day.”

So is the discussion more interesting now than it was in 1998? That depends. What do you want to talk about?

4: Does the general atmosphere promote pleasantness? Note that this is a different question than “Are the people nice?” You can have nice people in a bad atmosphere. People make up part of the atmosphere, but not all of it.

For some reason, I want to say, “No, it really doesn’t.” It’s simply an initial impression. There’s nothing truly vibrant out there in Dariadom.

I believe one of the reasons is that we have downgraded Daria fan art to a subgenre. Fan art is tucked away more than it is out in the open. There’s an absence of an aesthetic. The format of the PPMB is dull gray. The format of the SFMB is blue-on-black eye-strain-o-vision.

I don’t have a really good answer to question 4. Maybe you do.

Martin Pollard Retires Outpost Daria, Panic in Streets

2007-05-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

Sometime at around 11 pm Eastern Standard Time, Martin Pollard, webmaster of Outpost Daria, told the assembled fandom (or at least, that part of it that assembled at the PPMB) that he would no longer be updating Outpost Daria. It was not so much of a “Boy, I don’t really want to do Outpost Daria anymore” post but a sort of a “So long, Mac — I’m getting away from it all” message.

Chat rooms immediately erupted in wild accusations, with friendships broken as fast as someone could type a frowny-face emoticon. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth on the message boards.

Long-time fans like E.A. Smith suddenly began randomly picking fights with passersby on the street like a crazed jackal, the skin of his victims neatly wedged underneath his sharpened fingernails, as he roamed the streets in a caffeine-fueled frenzy. They had to call the tranquilizer gun in for Richard Lobinske, who at the last report was holding off police with a flit gun filled with DDT, his clothes in tatters, cackling like a madman on acid ...

Okay. That’s a bit of hyperbole. Nothing like that happened, although it would have been much more interesting if it did. The mood seems to be like that of a man who has been told he has terminal cancer — everyone thinking, “What other bad news am I going to get? Wife leaving me? Dog humping my daughter? Bush doesn’t leave in 2009?”

Before I wax about the greatness of Outpost Daria, let’s get the hedgehog out from under the bush. Martin Pollard and I have not ... uh ... gotten along, to put it mildly. For the longest time, I didn’t like Martin, and I’m sure Martin didn’t like me.

I also don’t know exactly how we stand now. I think we have a better appreciation for each other’s accomplishments — this comes with age, when you realize that you treated the most trivial of stuff like it was the most important thing in the world, which, of course, it was at the time.

So I’ll get my parting shots out of the way before I talk about the good stuff and this new crisis in fandom. I thought Martin frankly could be a real dick towards new fans (he has mellowed out a bit over the years, though). I still don’t like “Sins of the Past,” but I suspect that Martin probably didn’t mean for anyone to interpret it the way I noticeably did, so, no, Martin is not a secret rapist.

I thought his picking and choosing of “Featured Authors” was the most pretentious thing on Earth, but he changed even that, putting Thomas Mikkelsen in the Martin Hall of Fame and opening the whole process up to fan input. And since he pulled back from his involvement in day-to-day PPMB chat, I can’t even nag him for throwing his weight around (figuratively) in chatroom arguments. (My wife, however, still has not forgiven Mr. Pollard. C’est la vie.)

My damnation of Martin was that he was a BNF — a Big Name Fan, with all the good and the bad that entails. My focus was on the bad, but now, let’s focus on the good.

I’ve said for the longest time that you can never be a self-proclaimed BNF, as BNF-hood is thrust upon you, and Martin was definitely big name as a fan. Hell, it’s hard to even imagine a Daria fandom without Martin taking an active role in it, and my mind boggles at the prospect.

Outpost Daria was the ultimate fan shop. Always had been, even when I started lurking about the fandom in 1999/2000. Part of this is because Martin is one of the few fans who have been involved since the very beginning, the veteran of a thousand fannish wars.

When other fans’ sites went down, such as alt.lawndale, who was there to pick up the slack? Martin was.

When the Lawndale Commons message board went down, who was there to provide an alternative message board, which was the Outpost Daria message board? Martin was.

When Outpost Daria was “Foxed,” a lesser man might have just said, “Fuck it, I’m getting out of here.” Martin didn’t. He hung in there and saw it out till the end.

When fans needed to know something important or juicy, who got the word out on the message boards? At alt.tv.daria (when it was still one of the first fan stops)? Who got the word out in the #daria+ chat room? Martin did.

In short, if service to the fandom over the years could be measured in Girl Scout badges, Martin would probably have to wear a badge-covered suit instead of a sash. And the odd part is that these aren’t just mindless superlatives. The record speaks for itself.

This is why Martin is a BNF in the good sense of the term. The fandom, frankly, would not be the way the way it is today, might not have even survived, without the tireless work of Martin and others like him. And to hear that Martin is abandoning the post is sad — but face it. Martin has reached the stature where he doesn’t owe anyone any explanation. He can just say, “I’m leaving, you’re going to have to work out these issues on your own. I’ve done enough for fandom, thank you.”

And what issues? Think about this. The scripts. The fan art. The fan fiction, most of which is probably the only record of any fannish activity before 2000. Some of that stuff is irreplaceable. Granted that a lot of it is probably not worth reading, but how’re we gonna know if it isn’t there to look at? Hell, in five years, people might be saying, “Michelle who?” “Invisigoth who?” “Thomas who?”

I’m chuckling, thinking about the massive pain in the ass it’s going to be to copy and store the contents of the site. Right now, fans are praying that Martin will turn over the contents and the domain name to someone else, ’cause if he don’t, then someone is going to have to bite the bullet and, you know ... actually ... do something, instead of just talking about doing something. (I hear Eccles has volunteered his site. “Poor blighter,” as WWII pilots might have said.)

Well, they call it “crunch time” in football. Let’s see if anyone actually steps up and takes on the mantle of being the Number One Daria website, or if people just sit about and watch Outpost Daria blow away like dust in the wind.

Because without a channel actively showing Daria, and without a premier fan site, all we’re left with is the PPMB. Either this generation of fans is going to step up to the mike and throw down, or the fandom is going to go under, collapsing under the weight of its own apathy.

(“But, CINCGREEN,” you say, “how come you don’t step up, huh?” You’ve gotta be kidding. I’m hitting middle age, and running an Outpost-Daria-like site is a full-time job, with no pay, and fans biting your ankles because you posted their fic in Times New Roman instead of Arial. I want my ankles kept clean. Let some young stud or studette step up and do the job.)

So what brought this ugly mess on? Of course, I gotta speak out, because the words are already being said in other places. Might as well get the shameful mess out in the open.

Apparently, at some point, Martin decided to host the Kara Wild/Glenn Eichler interviews on his website. Kara wanted those interviews removed from Martin’s website. Kara stated that those interviews belonged to her, and they would pretty much be the exclusive property of DVDaria. She told him that he was being a very bad person for not removing those interviews post-haste.

From what I can tell, several things happened after that:

a) Martin packed it in,
b) Martin has not removed the interviews (this might not be true, as I can’t find them on the site), but
c) Martin removed all of Kara’s fics.

Martin ain’t saying nothing. But you can draw your own conclusions.

Now, I’ll be up front with you. If I had been in Kara’s shoes ... I would have just friggin’ let it go. I mean, really ... how many fans do you think were going to find those interviews on DVDaria? Maybe three, tops. Hell, I don’t even visit DVDaria but once in a blue moon. MTV ain’t putting out those DVDs soon, and MTV has frankly turned its back on us. You might as well replace the site with a four-word blurb, “DVDs ain’t out yet.”

If the interviews had stayed on Outpost Daria, at least people would have seen them. Dunno. Tough call if I’m in Kara’s shoes, but I’d probably just overlook it, unless Martin had somehow claimed that he was the one doing the interviewing.

Was Kara in the right to ask Martin to do that? From what I understand, yes. (And please, let’s not chat about copyrights and fanworks and trademarks and Acuff vs. Rose because it makes my ass hurt. As far as I’m concerned, we’re all thieves. The minute I wrote down the name “Daria Morgendorffer,” I committed a crime, possibly in Albania.)

Was Martin in the right to do what he did? Yeah, ’cause it was his site, dumbass. He pays the electric bills, so let’s not get pissed when he flips the switch. Hey, he’s even agreed to keep the lights on till December. Then, he releases the hounds. He could have just left without a “by your leave” and everyone would be sitting with their thumbs up their asses, wondering what to do next.

However, I don’t think it was a dignified way to go out. Not at all. Kara was a jerk taking a private manner public. If she was going to go after Martin’s jibblies, she should have just said, on the PPMB, “Look, please take all of my stuff off your site, and now. Gracias.” If people wanted to know why, it should have been a matter for private messaging. Not “I’ve asked you three times, and if you don’t do it ... well, I’ll ask you again, and really loudly!”

Martin was a jerk by, in effect, taking his ball and going home. Maybe ... oh hell, I don’t know, maybe both sides could get together, and ... oh ... I don’t know ... apologize! (“But I’m in the right! But I’m in the right and GOD AND MAN MUST KNOW THAT I’M IN THE RIGHT!” — the motto of every fandom, everywhere.)

All right. I, CINCGREEN, have officially become the voice of reason of Daria fandom. You’ve finally broken me. God, I hate you all. “When the gates of Hell are full, the dead will walk the earth, and CINCGREEN will be the voice of reason, and Lynn Cullen will walk the land, without let or hindrance.” *

Anyway, as Cypress Hill wisely said, “I ain’t going out like that, I ain’t going out like that.” And Martin ... well, he shouldn’a gone out like that. It besmirches his legend. But, as I said before, Martin has reached the stature where he doesn’t owe anyone an explanation.

So shine on, you crazy diamond. I’ve battled you many a day, and like Patton saluted Rommel, I salute you and thank you for at least nine or ten years of service to this fandom. I hope your health improves, and ... well, Martin, you know what they say ... “You don’t leave fandom, fandom leaves you.”

So ... if fandom hasn’t quite left you yet, don’t give up the keys to Outpost Daria so soon. I think even I would be glad to see you back.

But if Outpost Daria in 2008 becomes the home of “the cutest baby pictures you ever saw,” well, don’t say you weren’t warned.

___
* Canadibrit has released a new ep of “The Look-Alike Series.” Man. Outpost Daria going under. New “TLAS” fic. “Set the wayback machine, Mr. Peabody, we’re going back to 1999 ...!”

Outposting No More

2007-05-21T00:49:00.000-07:00

Martin Pollard has announced that his 20 May update of the Outpost Daria site will be his last, due primarily to personal matters. You can read his notes about the decision here. He expects to maintain the site’s presence on line until at least the end of this year.

Martin deserves a rousing cheer for keeping a site going for nearly nine years that has been a backbone of continuity, a richly detailed resource, and a storehouse of creativity — in, around, and (with fanworks) built upon the original series.

His clean and functional Web design, and comprehensive fanworks coverage, have both been huge assets to this fandom. As well as to me, and to many others, whose first sense of the richness and variety of the response to Daria came from his site.

I sincerely hope that Martin could ultimately transfer the Outpost’s contents and domain name to some other fan, or group of fans, who would continue it. Either later this year, resuming updates, or whenever he no longer chooses to bear the Web hosting costs.

In any event, he deserves our thanks, and his efforts will be sorely missed.

James will have his own perspective, I’m sure, from a much longer interaction with both Martin and his site. We want to hear yours, as well, so click on that link below and tell us about it.

Improvements Coming

2007-05-09T23:38:00.000-07:00

PPMB is indeed working, though erratically and slowly, 24 hours after the server outage affecting both Dariaboards. If a page doesn’t load at all, reloading will usually work. Many of the page graphics, though, including avatars, may not load.

Once again, all PPMB posts from late evening Saturday to late evening Tuesday (U.S. time) have been lost. New users’ account signups, and revisions to existing users’ accounts, from that period will have to be redone.

SFMB is still not working because, as Gamer reports this evening, “Some accounts did not correctly get restored and are still in the process of being restored, including my primary account [the domain gamerspage.com], which includes the SFMB. This is causing extreme disk I/O on the server, slowing almost all services to a crawl.”

Gamer also says that he’ll be moving both boards “to a faster and less utilized server within the next couple weeks.” It will have smaller loads and daily instead of weekly backups, so the loss of content from any future failure will be smaller.

Thursday, 1:00 pm (PT):

SFMB is back on line, with the same loss of three days of postings. Response and loading times for both boards are back to normal.

The Board of Last Resort

2007-05-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

The board of last resort appears to be the old Scorched Remnants Message Board at http://members.boardhost.com/SUSUexp.

If you just can’t wait for one of the two main boards to restart, jump in the pool — just be aware that the water was drained out in about 2005 and what water is there has now turned green.

Wednesday, 11:30 am (PT) from Greybird:

PPMB has returned, though erratically, after being down for 12 hours. Use of the backup apparently was necessary, and all messages and account changes from late Saturday to late Tuesday (U.S. time), about three days, have been lost. SFMB has not yet returned at all.

Open Thread and Board Status

2007-05-08T22:45:00.000-07:00

The PPMB and SFMB are down, so you folks might as well post here.

Update from Gamer via Greybird, Tuesday, 11:45 pm (Pacific time):

The engineers at the PPMB/SFMB Web host are doing what’s apparently an emergency motherboard swap. Not minor surgery, in other words. It’s expected to be done in 1 to 3 hours, thus by early Wednesday (U.S. time). Hardware engineers aren’t readily available during the night hours, thus the delay.

The Websites’ accounts are capable of being “restored from the weekly backups on our spare server, just in case the data is not retrievable even after the motherboard is replaced.” In the worst-case scenario, a backup restore, it’s another 12 to 24 hours of downtime, that is, until mid-day to late-night Wednesday (U.S. time). Some recent postings may be lost if a backup is used.

Daria Is Back on TV ...

2007-04-28T12:39:00.000-07:00

... on ABC2 in Australia, according to Daria fan Deref. It’s time to go outside and turn your satellite dish in the proper direction.

Martin Pollard was laid out in the hospital with a case of cellulitis. When he returned home and checked his e-mail, many of his e-mail messages were accidentally deleted, so if you have something you’ve sent to Outpost Daria, you’d better send it again.

New Fan Fiction at PPMB

Angelboy: Hip to be Square ... Dancers, The Melody Lingers On

The Angst Guy: After the End, Every Hour Saved from That Eternal Silence, Stacy in Hell

DJW: Open Windows 5: A Stab in the Dark, Part 2

Doggieboy: Apocalyptic Daria

Jtranser: Stacy Rowe, Seeker

NightGoblyn: More Apocalyptic Daria

NotoriousDUG: Depression

RLobinske: Falling Into College 55: Emerald Season, John Lane 27: Sloane Tom B

This time, I used the WYSIWYG editor. Boy, was that hard.

“The Lab Brat”: A Formula for Humor

2007-04-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Today is April 14, 2007, and we mark the 10th anniversary of the initial airing of “The Lab Brat,” a Season One episode of Daria. It is probably one of the funnier episodes of the series, and has no greater goal than to be a funny episode. We don’t learn much that is new about the characters in Daria, but their strengths and weaknesses are played to their best effect in a very funny script.

Peggy Nicoll would go on to write several Daria episodes. Her previous television experience was writing an episode for Sweet Valley High and several episodes of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

She would write 10 episodes in all, co-write both Daria movies, and write The Daria Database, the companion book to Anne Bernstein’s The Daria Diaries. Unfortunately, aside from the “movie” Bratz: Rock Angelz, Ms. Nicoll seems not to have worked since then.

As it would also turn out, “The Lab Brat” would be the last new Daria episode until June 1997. Daria fans would have to wait almost two months to see the final part of Season One.

The story starts with the introduction of the science teacher at Lawndale High, Mrs. Barch, whose husband left the household after 22 years and left her with a lot of anger to express — most of it against the male students at Lawndale.

Mrs. Barch asks for the definition of the psychological concept of reinforcement. Daria goes on one of her funnier extended riffs with a hilarious example. It appears that Daria has become very comfortable now, when asked a question, to fill the empty space of those moments when the rest of the class won’t come up with an answer.

Something impresses Mrs. Barch — either Daria’s willingness to answer or the twisted nature of that answer. As a result, Barch pairs Daria with Kevin for a lab project to illustrate the nature of reinforcement. Brittany protests, as Kevin and Brittany have been lab partners for a long time. The singleton Brittany is therefore paired with Upchuck, who looks forward to having the attention of Lawndale’s chesty cheerleader.

At the local pizza place, Daria complains to Jane about having to work with Kevin. Jane thinks having Kevin as a partner is great — “Next best thing to working alone” — but Kevin likes mazes. Daria undoubtedly fears that Kevin will add unwanted input. But after Kevin asks for the project to be done at the Morgendorffers’, as his cable is out, Daria has an idea that should keep Kevin at arm’s length.

In the Morgendorffer household, Helen feigns interest in the school projects of Daria and Quinn. Daria quickly dopes out that Helen doesn’t care, but Helen’s interest is piqued when she finds out that Daria and Kevin have been paired. Helen hopes that Kevin will come to invite Daria into his circle of popularity — and now Quinn’s interest is piqued!

Just at that moment, Kevin arrives. Daria distracts Kevin — perhaps permanently — by showing Kevin that “The Pigskin Channel” is available. As Kevin settles down to watch his gridiron heroes — leaving Daria alone to get some work done — Quinn tries to attract Kevin by paying him lots of attention. But when Quinn tries to get Kevin to reciprocate — when she tries to manipulate him the same way she manipulates her other dates — Kevin is clueless.

Quinn: Kevin, if you want a soda or anything, there’s some
in the fridge. I know I’m kind of thirsty.
Kevin: Thanks, babe. Could you, like, put some ice in it?

Meanwhile, at Casa Ruttheimer, Brittany arrives in her finest “Spy vs. Spy” wear, lest anyone recognize her. Upchuck enjoys being partnered with Brittany — and then hands her woodworking tools, telling her that she’ll be doing her share of the work. If she doesn’t, he’ll tell all of LHS that they’re dating.

When Brittany scoffs at such blackmail, Upchuck pulls out bigger guns — a picture of Brittany and a bare-chested young man sitting in the back of a convertible. He’s Sam Stack, the quarterback of Oakwood, Lawndale’s rival school. (Brittany had broken up with Kevin the week that she went out with Sam.) In order to keep Upchuck from showing Kevin the photo, Brittany will have to be Upchuck’s “slave” and serve as his go-fer and maid-of-all-service (well, not all service).

Quinn keeps plying her charms, but Kevin has the Pigskin Channel and doesn’t even notice her. When Brittany comes by for a visit — drenched, as Upchuck had her cleaning his fish tank — Quinn tells Brittany that Kevin is deep at work with Daria and cuts the conversation short, closing the door on Brittany. Clearly, with Brittany around, Quinn has no chance of making Kevin a “K” to match her other Three Js.

Kevin visits Daria’s progress in the garage. Daria hates the interruption, Quinn comes by with a cake to tempt Kevin, and then Brittany arrives! Kevin claims that he’s been hard at work, but Brittany doesn’t buy it, and when Kevin can’t explain this project at which he’s been so hard at work to Brittany, Brittany comes to the conclusion that both Daria and Quinn are conspiring to take Kevin away from her!

At the pizza place, Brittany confronts Daria, telling her she’s ready to fight for Kevin. When Kevin is more interested in his science project than in Brittany — he looks forward to his Pigskin Channel viewings — Brittany is supremely frustrated. Her frustration increases as the Three Js come on to first Daria (because maybe Kevin knows something they don’t), then Quinn (because Quinn is Quinn) while Brittany can’t get their attention.

Brittany is convinced that she is competing against two girls for Kevin’s love. When Jodie jokingly suggests that Brittany’s little brother would have to wear a skirt for Brittany to compete, Brittany comes up with a devious solution to her plan.

Telling Quinn the lie that Kevin wanted Brittany to bring something to the garage, Brittany gains access to Daria’s maze-navigating mouse. Stealing the mouse, she puts it in the “care” of her evil little brother.

Daria tells Kevin that the two of them are in danger of failing the lab project, now that the mouse is gone. Daria has found evidence of what might have happened — a bear-shaped jar of honey that Brittany swapped for the mouse. (Upchuck will only eat honey from bear-shaped jars, as Brittany learned to her chagrin.) Brittany then arrives at the garage, and Daria comes to the obvious conclusion about the mouse’s fate.

She tells Brittany that without the mouse, Kevin and Daria will have to do a make-up project ... a very long make-up project that will be sure to keep Kevin at Daria’s house for a long time. Brittany is then forced to admit to Daria and Kevin that she was the one that stole the mouse. Daria offers Brittany a deal — the mouse in exchange for Kevin. (Each believes they got the better of the deal.)

Brittany returns the mouse, but it’s obvious that the mouse has been traumatized by Brittany’s brother. It refuses to run the maze, curling up in a fetal position. To Quinn’s chagrin, Brittany manages to get Kevin away from the Morgendorffers. As the Taylor residence now has the Pigskin Channel, Kevin is just as happy to be with Brittany as anyone else with cable.

In Mrs. Barch’s class, Charles and Brittany present their maze. However, Upchuck forgot to teach Brittany anything about the project, and when Barch’s queries to Brittany yield unsatisfactory answers, both Upchuck and Brittany get a failing grade.

Daria changes the focus of her project from the tale of a mouse taught to run a maze to what happens when a mouse receives fear as his only reinforcement. Drawing an example that parallels Barch’s hatred of all men, Daria gets an “A” — and Kevin gets a “D.”

To Kevin, the project has been a success! He tells Daria that he’s having a big party with a lot of cool people. As Daria’s face presents hopeful optimism, he asks Daria ... if Quinn can make it to the party.

Part of the reason this episode works so well is that Daria is at her creative and sarcastic best. It’s one of the first episodes of the Daria of “Daria Triumphant,” the Daria for which no obstacle remains an obstacle for long.

Daria is not only comfortable answering questions in class, but can quickly come with answers that serve her overall goals — usually the goal of leaving others uncomfortable. Daria manages to build her maze without (much) interference from Kevin, manages to figure out what happened to her missing mouse, and even with the project seemingly ruined, Daria saves it with a presentation that subtly appeals to Mrs. Barch’s misandry.

Daria is at the top of her game here, and even though she’s still an outcast at Lawndale, she’s much more in control of events than vice versa.

The episode also marks the first appearance of Janet Barch. It’s a pity that they matched up Barch with Mr. O’Neill, a character who never has been funny and probably never will be. Before the “I-hate-all-men-everywhere” shtick became tiresome, Barch is actually very funny in this episode, not so over the top as she is in future episodes.

(Question: Is this the only funny episode in which Barch has added to the humor instead of subtracted from it?)

Oddly enough, Jane is not just a second banana, but a third banana in this episode. Aside from some framing scenes, Jane is little used in “The Lab Brat,” basically to react to whatever Daria says and to occasionally add a provocative comment of her own.

As Jane was later developed into an intriguing character of her own — I think Jane could have supported a series — it is very difficult to see her in the role of Daria’s coat-holder. I don’t know if this is a failure, as Daria and Jane don’t need to be linked together in every episode — indeed, Jane isn’t even in Mrs. Barch’s class, and therefore couldn’t be Daria’s lab partner. It is very odd to see, however, given the closeness of Daria and Jane’s relationship as explored in later episodes.

But this episode wasn’t going to be used to explore the deepest hidden desires of characters, or the strength of relationships, or to make a point. Its only point was to be funny, and Peggy Nicoll hit the ball out of the park with her first attempt. The next episode — “Pinch Sitter” — would be a similar fan favorite ... but Daria fans would have to learn that patience was a virtue.

Random thoughts:

• It looks like Quinn has a talent we’ve forgotten to recognize — skill as a cook! Somehow, Quinn is able to whip up a steak for Kevin. The cake that Kevin was presented might have been store-bought, but there’s no way to fake a steak. And if Quinn can make a steak, is a cake really out of her range? (Then again, she might have learned from careful observation of her father.)

• My wife asked a question: Is Kevin onto Quinn? She suggested that Kevin’s cluelessness might be a psychological mechanism. He knows what Quinn’s asking of him, but he doesn’t want to turned into one of Quinn’s gift-bearing admirers, so he plays clueless. Then again, I think that’s giving Kevin too much credit.

• Where did this rumor come from that Kevin was dating Daria and Quinn? Brittany confronts Kevin with the news that the rumor exists during a scene near the lockers. It could have come from any number of sources, most likely from Brittany sharing a confidence with a friend, who then told ten friends, etc. Or Daria could have shared the rumor to set up getting rid of Brittany. Or Quinn could have told Sandi about Brittany’s wrong conclusion, and Sandi spread it all over the school. It just goes to show — rumor travels fast in any high school.

• Daria looks seriously hopeful that Kevin will invite her to his party at the end of the episode. Her eyes become wide, her head tilts, and a hint of anticipation comes into her voice, only for her to be cruelly shot down. I suspect that Daria would have turned down the invite, politely, but would have been secretly thrilled. At least it would have shown that Kevin would have appreciated the hard work Daria did. A pity that didn’t happen.

• Favorite quotes:

Helen: Daria, please tell me about the project.
Daria: It’s about how behavior is affected by positive or negative
reinforcement.
Helen: Sounds super.
Daria: Like ... say, you have a friend who responds to everything
you say with, “That’s great!” This insincere reply is the same
whether you saved a life or killed a bug, and thus becomes
“negative reinforcement,” causing you to withdraw from that
person or persons.
Helen: Wow. That’s fantastic!

Brittany: So, like, what have you been doing all night?
Kevin: Um ... working.
Brittany: Wow, this really looks complicated. Kevin ... you’re so smart. Explain it to me.
Kevin: Uh ... well, see, there’s this path. Wait ... hey. Oh,
there’s two paths. Cool!

Brittany: Ooh! Can you believe Daria’s trying to take Kevin
away from me?
Jodie: I can’t believe anyone would try to take Kevin away
from you.

Kevin: Babe!
Daria: This is all very touching. Brittany, a deal. The mouse
for Kevin.
Brittany: Deal.
(Both shake hands and think: “Sucker.”)
Kevin: Daria, I can still come over and watch the Pigskin
Channel, right?
(Both girls think: “Jerk!”)

Fanworks Update

2007-04-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

These fanworks have been posted or linked to since 17 March 2007 at an active fansite or message board. Fiction is complete unless noted.

A note on Iron Chef threads: We’re listing longer contributions that go beyond a few hundred words, especially if they have their own titles. If such a piece gets posted elsewhere, we’ll use that listing.

Fan Fiction

AgathaMalady: A Lot Unsaid (Chapter 3)

Angelboy: Diary Entries (Chapter 4, continued), Embers (Part 17)

The Angst Guy: Daria’s Addition, Every Hour Saved from That Eternal Silence (Part 1), Till Death Do Us Part

Brother Grimace: Daria Dragnet

Cap: By the Memorial, Daria Morgendorffer and the Goblet of Wassail

CDM: Demon Princess Quinn 1: Quinn Anwnn (Chapter 8)

DJW: Open Windows 5: A Stab in the Dark (Part 1)

Doggieboy: Apocalyptic Daria (Part 7)

Eccles: Drinking It In

Fezenclop: Daria’s Web (Chapter 8, done)

Lawndale Stalker: Naked Came the Cynic (continued)

Mandelore: Daria Wars, Episode One: The Lawndale Menace (Chapter 4)

NightGoblyn: The Heather/Damsel Chronicles (Story 1, Chapter 5) (links), More Apocalyptic Daria (Part 3)

Ranger Thorne: It Came, It Saw, It Forced Me to Write It

RLobinske: Falling Into College 54: Another Day in Paradise, Falling Into College 55: Emerald Season (Part 1), John Lane 26: Neptune et Fortuna

Roentgen: Legion of Lawndale Heroes (Chapter 8.6), Whoops! Apocalypse!

Fan Art

Bar1scorpio: Undescribed Anime (link)

Christ-Off: Mystik Spiral

Christ Oliver: Daria and Jane Kissing (scenes from a video)

DJ: VQuinn

Eccles: Daria-Themed Flash Video (link)

Hershey-chan: Brittany, Tiffany, Upchuck

Ioxmo: Daria in Cargo Pants (link, for upcoming fic)

JennaUsername: Moi, Daria Style

Kangamoo: Excuse Me

Mahna Mahna: Tanandaria Sketch

Minkychanz: Jane as Snow White, You’re Pretty Cool, Daria

Noémie: Fashion Club as Playboy Bunnies (repost from defunct site)

Ranger Thorne: Jane in Justice League Unlimited Style

Reese Kaine: Lawndale: Daria and Jane

S.C.: Animated Avatars from dPod Commercial (set of 12), Daria’s Boytoy, Gangsta Daria, Grr, Feisty!

Wouter: Baggy Trousers (anime music video), Through a Webcam Lens Darkly (page 2)

Zackmolis: Quinn Swimsuit

Erotica

(Available in the hidden members-only section of SFMB)

Angelboy: Repression and Repercussions (fiction, Chapter 12)

Bololo: Four Daria Videos (links to Flash videos — read the virus warnings)

Dervish: Jane Lane, or Snow White, and the 7 Pervie Dwarves (fiction)

Ioxmo: We’ll Be Eating Out Tonight (art)

Minkychanz: Monique in Marker (art), Quinn in a Thong (art), Sandi in Lingerie (art), Tiffany in a Blue Shirt (art, revised)

NomadX: Daria in Deep with Brittany (art, from December 2006)

Daria Wiki

2007-04-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

There is a Daria wiki. The Angst Guy has demanded that the world know there is a Daria wiki.

It is located at dariawiki.org, appropriately enough.

I’ve added posts about Lawndale After Dark and about “Night of the Storm” there. Other fans have added posts about other things.

Go over there, and make The Angst Guy a happy little penguin.

Additional notes in the comments. ~ Greybird

Daria Makes It to Russia!

2007-04-07T17:14:00.000-07:00

Russian TV, that is. This PPMB post explains it all. You can take a look at Daria translated into Russian at the Website for the 2 x 2 TV channel.

It appears that, odd as it might sound, they have decided to allow the English-language translation to play and to dub the Russian translation right on top, as if a Russian speaker was translating the action on screen to a nearby friend.

Daria and Quinn seem to sound alike, and Brittany doesn't sound like I’d expect. Listen for yourself.

Barbizon and Banality: A Look at “This Year’s Model”

2007-04-07T16:57:00.000-07:00

Looking back on “This Year’s Model” — or even finding anything relevant to say about it, regarding the plot or its characters — is difficult because this episode leaves so little impact on the viewer. After I finished watching it again in honor of its 10th anniversary, I wondered if the running time was somehow shorter compared to the rest of the Season One episodes.

“This Year’s Model” was written by Laura Kightlinger and Glenn Eichler. Even though Kightlinger would move on to write six episodes of Will and Grace, she is known more for being a comedy performer than a writer. At the time of the episode, her only writing experience was sketch comedy writing for Saturday Night Live.

She had never written a beginning-to-end television script or a screenplay, and Eichler’s co-writing credit most likely exists for one of two reasons. Either she needed Eichler’s guidance in completing her first full script, or more likely, the script needed extensive revision, to the point that Eichler deserved a writing credit. This would be the only Daria episode that Kightlinger would write.

To recall the plot: The show begins with a pointless scene in Daria’s room where Daria and Jane watch a commercial for an encyclopedia — one whose articles are written by a supermodel. (This scene could have been abandoned, as the title of the episode alone makes the subject matter clear.)

Two visitors arrive at Mr. O’Neill’s class, led in by the principal, Ms. Li. The male is Claude, and the female is Romonica DeGregory, two representatives from an agency that seems to take various names throughout the episode, all variations on “Amazon Modeling Agency.”

Brittany is very happy, figuring they must be there because of the letter she sent to them. Claude and Romonica make it clear that they are searching for modeling talent, with the winner to receive a national contract.

Daria and Jane each make the point to Ms. Li that the aims of modeling aren’t exactly aligned with the aims of education. Daria states that modeling is entirely about being judged by one’s appearance, and that a model’s popularity depends on the whims of popular fashion.

Daria and Jane finally learn that Ms. Li is more motivated by financial renumeration — the swimming pool needs bullet-proof skylights — than any educational benefits from Amazon’s arrival.

At the cafeteria, Daria and Jane find that Jodie has skipped lunch and they accuse her of being caught up in the dream of becoming a model. Jodie complains that Daria is “against everything” and that the class is voluntary. Daria retorts that by Jodie’s argument, strippers should be allowed to come to recruit at the school as well, provided attendance at stripping lessons is also voluntary.

Both Claude and Romonica show up unexpectedly at Mrs. Bennett’s class. By now, Brittany is wearing a shoulder-to-knees trenchcoat, and when Claude and Romonica take notice of Brittany, they ask her to model for them.

Brittany is wearing an haute couture dress underneath the coat and walks for the two, who silently indicate to each other that Brittany doesn’t measure up, being too busty. However, Claude and Romonica effusively compliment Brittany (“Wonderful!” “Astonishing!”) and search the room for new talent.

They center on two potential targets. Jane holds off Claude’s and Romonica’s interest by drawing them on notebook paper as two vultures circling a potential meal. When Claude focuses on Daria’s “waif-like figure” and asks her to take off her glasses, she declines, stating that she needs them to identify scam artists.

Daria shares her concerns with Helen and Jake, who know Daria feels strongly about the matter. They know because Daria has violated her “unwritten rule” (see the essay on “The Invitation”) and upset the balance of power by the mere act of telling her parents. Quinn, however, enters the room with what she thinks is good news — she’s been invited to attend Claude’s and Romonica’s modeling class!

The phone rings. Romonica is on the phone to talk with Helen. She tells Helen that Quinn has that “special something” that most other girls don’t have, and emphasizes that the classes are free.

Quinn, still thinking that she isn’t going to the class after the poor initial reception to the idea from Helen, leaps in after Helen and Romonica stop talking. She claims that Helen has always said that Quinn can be whatever she wants to be, and clearly, this is something very big for Quinn.

Helen reluctantly gives in, if only for the one class. She then swings a deal with Daria to observe the class and monitor Quinn. (The deal: Helen cannot bring up redecorating Daria’s room — the padded room of the schizophrenic relative of the previous owners — for an entire year.) As it turns out, Daria had planned on attending anyway, as there is great “potential for the total humiliation of Quinn.”

As Daria and Jane sit in the school auditorium and watch Quinn on stage, Trent shows up. Daria and Jane ask why he’s there, and Trent states — not very convincingly — that as he plans on being a rock star, he needs to get used to being around models.

As Brittany bemoans her fate of having to sit with the “losers” in the auditorium, Quinn, Sandi, Stacy, Tiffany, and a large red-haired girl (chosen as “a decoy” by Claude and Romonica) strut their stuff.

Quinn is very good at interpreting the directions. However, Claude and Romonica create an exercise where the girls must rub the chests of “virile” young men in a romantic way. The Three Js are called to help, and Kevin is noticed in the auditorium and asked to help as well, immediately abandoning a sobbing Brittany. The boys take off their shirts and get to work, but Ms. Li shows up and the class comes to a crashing halt.

Quinn is convinced that she’ll win the contest, but Helen is not so sure. As the school is assembled in the auditorium to hear who will win the modeling contract, a group of men dressed in army fatigues and military wear interrupt the assembly. It is General Buck Conroy from Brutal Mercenary magazine, ready to tell the assembled the joys of being a killer for hire.

When Ms. Li protests their intrusion, Conroy shows Ms. Li not only the letter she supposedly sent him, but the accompanying fee. And then the press show up. (Ba-rump-bum.)

Ms. Li can provide little defense to the press — after all, if she allowed Amazon to recruit, then why wouldn’t she allow Brutal Mercenary? Claude and Romonica are banned from school grounds.

At home, Quinn believes that she would have won the contract if all this hadn’t happened. Daria then happily points out an article in the local paper where it is announced that Amazon has signed a Lawndale student to a national contract — Kevin Thompson.

As Daria, safely in her room, destroys her copy of Brutal Mercenary magazine — indicating that she was the force behind the arrival of General Conroy and his mercenaries — Kevin is being verbally abused by Claude and Romonica during an underwear shoot. Clearly, he’s not doing very well as a model.

Part of the problem with “This Year’s Model” is that Daria and Jane — the stars of the show — are shoved off the stage, moved from a proactive role to an observing role. At the beginning of the episode they are watching television, and they will remain in this passive role almost to the very end.

Daria at least remains true to her standoffish self. Daria doesn’t like the arrival of Claude and Romonica, and has probably judged them accurately as “scam artists,” but doesn’t go out of her way to lead a massive protest. As long as she’s not involved, she’s happy, and she only observes the modeling because there’s the faint chance that her hated sister Quinn might do something foolish.

But with Daria out of the way, the episode must be carried on the back of lesser — far lesser — characters. Claude and Romonica take the stage, and they are both the stereotypes of what people in the modeling industry were thought to be like in 1997.

Both are flamboyant, both are dressed in visually arresting (or assaulting) fashions, everything is tres chic to them, they are catty, they are dishonest, and they enjoy making grand spectacles of themselves. We can only be glad that America’s Next Top Model was not on the air until 2003, or we would have been given bad imitations of Tyra Banks and Janice Dickinson.

The problem is that neither of them is very funny, either separately or together. They are a bad Saturday Night Live sketch. Daria and Jane quickly fend off these two annoyances, but we are stuck with them for the length of the episode.

With Daria’s principle of non-involvement running at full power, other, lesser characters have to fill the spaces. For example, Quinn, who by this time was still not much more than Daria’s sisterly nemesis. And of course, Kevin and Brittany, of whom the less is said the better.

A general rule of Daria episodes is: Don’t bother watching episodes, like “A Tree Grows in Lawndale,” which try to develop stereotypical characters — they never work. “This Year’s Model” not only proves the rule, it doesn’t even do much with the characters it’s given, for comedic purposes or otherwise.

Furthermore, Helen is very angry with Jake and it’s the first time we truly experience Helen’s wrath in any episode. Helen is virtually screaming at Jake — “Do you hear anything that goes on here?!?” — and Jake frankly doesn’t know how to defend himself, wanting nothing more than to be left alone.

Helen’s irritation with Jake stops being funny after a while, and when it does, you begin speculating who’s to blame for the sorry state of communication in the Morgendorffer household ... Helen or Jake?

This episode is the first sign that this shtick, taken too far, can be troublesome. It’s a good thing that the Helen/Jake dynamic is further explored in later episodes. In “This Year’s Model,” however, it’s more verbal abuse than it is humor.

As a side note, Trent’s arrival at Lawndale High is a bit unsettling. Why is he there? The natural conclusion is that he’s there to look at the cute high school girls — although Quinn and her Fashion Club peers are freshmen, and Trent is in his early twenties.

Not that it’s a sin to look at pretty girls, but you wonder if Trent’s interest in Daria is due to the fact that he can’t pick up girls his own age. If Trent is to be the boy that Daria develops a crush on, wouldn’t someone as smart as Daria be asking herself some questions?

Even Trent seems embarrassed to be there. Maybe he read the script.

The ending is unsatisfying. Really, if Daria detests Quinn so much, it should be a win-win situation — either Quinn loses the competition and is crushed, or wins it and is out of Daria’s hair. But Daria somehow acts as the deus ex machina, finally bringing an end to Claude’s and Romonica’s reign of ... uh ... inconvenience.

Why does Daria have all this concern now? One could argue that she was really worried about Quinn falling under the influence of these two dimwits, but nothing in the episode conveys that.

It also leaves a bunch of unanswered questions, as Hermes Conrad might say ...

• Did Daria spend her own money? That fee looked like a check. It must be a money order, because where would Daria get an anonymous check?

• Did Daria need to steal official LHS stationery?

• Is copying Ms. Li’s name a crime?

• Didn’t General Conroy have any suspicions? Why would he show up unannounced without at least doing some basic reconnaissance? Did Daria call him up pretending to be Ms. Li? Did ...

Oh, forget it. None of these unanswered questions are worth asking, or answering. “This Year’s Model” was one of the first real bumps on the road, right next to “College Bored.”

It was just a episode with broadly sketched characters, none of whom can draw a laugh, while Daria sits in the background, somewhere, reading. Clearly, this episode needed more Daria. Thankfully, the next two episodes of Daria would be among the funniest.

Random thoughts:

• When I talked my essay over with my wife, she gave me a different perspective. As to whether or not Amazon was on the up and up, she said, “Of course Amazon is a scam!”

She compared Amazon to the Barbizon Modeling School. There are still Barbizon agencies at various places in the United States. Their old slogan was “Be a model, or just look like one!” One used to find their advertisements in Seventeen, Glamour, or Mademoiselle.

If you could somehow afford their classes, that was where they got you hooked. The classes were expensive, and then you could pay for a special class in how to apply makeup, and then pay for portfolio pictures, etc., etc.

However, Barbizon was not a modeling agency. They couldn’t place you on a runway, either in Milan, or for that matter, in Macon. Young deluded kids pay thousands of dollars and have nothing to show for it. This is why my wife concluded that Daria went out of her way, not only to reveal Ms. Li’s own “mercenary” behavior, but also to strike back at a place like Amazon/Barbizon.

My argument is that I doubt a lot of the young people watching in the late 1990s, or even in the 2000s on The N, would even know who or what Barbizon is. This is the problem when twenty- and thirty-somethings are trying to write a show for high school teens.

• Even though being a model was just one of many of Brittany’s most important dreams ever, at least she put enough thought in it to come up with a model name, “Blue.” Last Wednesday, the models of America’s Next Top Model were asked to come up with a new name for themselves as a challenge. (See: Twiggy.) Unfortunately, none of them picked “Blue.”

• A pattern is evident in Daria’s and Jane’s confrontations with authority. Daria will devastatingly point out the flaws in the opposition's argument, while Jane will bring up other related points that might paint a shocking picture. Daria likes unsettling authority, but Jane likes watching it squirm.

• When the Fashion Club is holding hands in this episode, waiting in anticipation of learning who will get the contract, Tiffany is missing. Did she fall short?

• Stacy finally gets a name, as Romonica calls her by name in the auditorium. Sandi was first named as a character in the previous episode, “Malled.” Tiffany still doesn’t have a name, but will have one by the end of the first season.

• The only good lines of the episode:

Quinn: You don’t get it. I’m writing a poem about what a great model I’d be. I’m going to recite it for Claude and Romonica. (clears throat) “A model’s what I’d like to be / Looking good comes naturally / Da da da da, da da, me.”

(Jane refers to Brittany’s characterization of the observers as losers, and Kevin is called to the auditorium floor by Claude and Romonica, abandoning a distraught Brittany)
Jane: Don’t be sad. He’s with the winners now.

Look OUT!

2007-04-01T02:11:00.000-07:00

(At the flea market, Jane and Jesse are walking
back to their LP booth, sodas in hand)

Jane: You see, my theory is that our primitive hunting instinct has no outlet in modern society.
Jesse: Cool. (slurps soda)
Jane: So, rather than stalking animals, we substitute it with the shopping experience, and hunt for objects.
Jesse: Cool. (slurps soda)
Jane: (a bit exasperated) And then, Jesse, while we’re asleep, those objects come to life and plot their secret takeover of our civilization. April first, 2007. That’s the day they make their move!
Jesse: Cool. (slurps soda)

(From “That Was Then, This Is Dumb,” 1998)

Dunno ’bout ’chew, but I’m gonna be extra careful today. Especially when, in honor of the renovated Yeagers, I fix bacon and (store-bought) garlic toast for breakfast! Don’t want the stove turning on me when I turn it on.

I don’t have one LP any more of “Boston,” let alone three, but since I’ve been too close to voluntary simplicity {g} these days (it’s those gas prices), I’m gonna go download “More Than a Feeling” from the Internets ...

Two-week fanworks update coming soon, if this computer is willing to keep worki

“Malled”: The Final Piece of the Puzzle

2007-03-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

As you have undoubtedly guessed, today is the 10th anniversary of the airing of “Malled,” the fifth episode of Daria. For anyone actively following the show back in 1997, it was the fifth week in a row that MTV had aired what was (ostensibly) a brand new, thirty-minute cartoon in the tradition of The Maxx, Aeon Flux, Beavis and Butt-head, and Liquid Television — cartoons which were more adult and more thought-provoking than cartoons which had been seen on American TV in the past.

“Malled” was the first episode written by Neena Beber, an aspiring writer who had been writing for television as early as 1989. Beber would later become a playwright and screenwriter. With “Malled,” she would provide the missing piece of the puzzle which brought Daria (the character) from an interesting comedic idea to a full-fledged character, the type that has inspired numerous works of fan fiction and an on-line fandom that has somehow endured for longer than the show was on the air.

Recounting the plot is worthwhile, if only as a guidepost from where one can map the progress of the characters on their five-year journey. The episode starts at the Morgendorffer home, where Quinn provides a bit of unnecessary exposition (I get the impression that there was some padding here).

Quinn is going on at the dinner table about the brand new super-cool Mall of the Millennium, a massive shopping mall about a hundred miles away from Lawndale. Quinn wants to go to the mall, but is told that she’d have to bring up her grades before the family springs for a trip.

Some time later, Lawndale High’s economics teacher, Mrs. Bennett, is looking for someone in class to illustrate how supply might create demand. As no one raises their hands, Mrs. Bennett is forced to call upon Daria, who laconically replies that the mall would be such an example.

This inspires Mrs. Bennett to propose a field trip to the Mall of the Millennium, which wins the entire class over (they want to avoid a pop quiz), except for Daria and Jane. They’re easily outvoted by the class, and Daria goes so far as to claim a skin condition to avoid going.

The next scene finds the economics class on the way to the mall, including Daria and Jane. The school bus seems to hit every pothole, but it doesn’t sway Kevin and Brittany from an impromptu make-out session, or Upchuck from hitting on Daria and Jane with his father’s credit card and his suggestion that they model bikinis.

The cauldron of Brittany’s and Kevin’s passion has undoubtedly provoked an unpleasant physical reaction from Daria (across a wide spectrum) and Daria finds herself physically ill, possibly from motion sickness, but probably from a wafting mixture of pheromones and cheap perfume. By the time the class actually reaches the mall and gets on the bus to take them from the parking lot to the massive facility, Daria is throwing up.

While the class looks around and is entranced by the odd-sounding specialty stores, Mrs. Bennett reminds them of the importance of the meeting they are about to attend — until she comes across a Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits score, which sells the particular type of collectible that she adores. Somehow, the class makes it to the meeting on time with mall executives, who seem more interested in what the kids are interested in buying.

Jodie dopes out quickly that the class is being used as a focus group, and Daria convinces Jane to turn on a light switch that reveals the faces peeking in behind a wall-length two-way mirror. The class rebels, and Daria believes that “there is a principle involved.” However, the class is easily pacified by discount coupons to specialty stores, and even Jane picks up a coupon and is prepared to cash in.

Mrs. Bennett, however, is determined to make the visit an actual learning experience, even if the assignments given don’t provide much in the way of opportunity. Daria and Jane are assigned to monitor traffic at the food court.

Jane: Traffic patterns at the food concessions.
Daria: Hmm, I’ve noticed a pattern. People walk in looking hungry.
Jane: And leave, stuffing their faces.
Daria: Assignment completed.

However, Daria and Jane encounter an unexpected surprise while waiting in line to stuff their own faces ... Quinn! It appears that the Fashion Club has skipped school and gotten a ride to the mall from an admirer (who has become a real fifth wheel). Quinn had suggested a makeover project as a way for the Fashion Club to do good ... and from behind and at a distance, Daria and Jane looked like perfect candidates.

Quinn has no one to blame but herself. Daria knows that Quinn would be in big trouble if their parents found out about Quinn skipping school for a 100-mile mall trip, and Daria cashes in big-time. Quinn will have to do Daria’s work around the house for an entire month, and provide Daria and Jane with a ride back home from Quinn’s admirer/slave. Satisfied, Daria and Jane go to cash their coupons before departing.

Unfortunately, they have little luck. Jane hopes for a new pair of scissors from “Scissor Wizard,” but finds out that it’s a trendy hair salon. Instead of getting her hair cut like a celebrity, Jane ends up with a used can of mousse and her coupon redeemed in cash (they did sort of hassle the hairstylist).

The two go to cash in Daria’s coupon at the “Doo-Dads” shop, and it appears from first observation that the shop is filled with those hard-to-define items that end up “re-gifted.” Unfortunately, Daria is the 10,000th customer and, as a reward, is subjected to a humiliating song and a supply of Doo-Dads.

When we return to the Morgendorffer home, Quinn is about a couple of weeks into her chore detail. As a reward to both Quinn and Daria, Helen and Jake decide to treat their daughters to a trip ... to the Mall of the Millennium! Neither Daria nor Quinn is exactly thrilled, and our last image is the full-sized poster at the Doo-Dads store, which shows an uncomfortable-looking Daria being feted by the store staff.

Once again, we have Daria (and Jane, apparently) compelled to do something she doesn’t want to do. This has been a continuous theme in Season One Daria episodes, and should be no surprise.

In earlier episodes, we had Daria forced to sit in a self-esteem class, or to go to a party that she didn’t want to go to, or to go to a college that she didn’t want to go to, or to work in a coffeehouse when the principal denied her extracurricular credit.

In all of those cases, the theme was that Daria basically was forced to be around people she didn’t want to be with. It’s a common theme in human relations — most of us are forced to spend time with annoying family, or friends, or co-workers, and we wish we could be as sarcastic and witty as Daria or had some devastating way of conveying this annoyance.

This time, however, we have Daria standing on a principle. There’s no reason that Daria couldn’t go along with the crowd and get out of economics class. She probably finds it as boring as her other classes, and why not take a trip to the mall instead of take a pop quiz?

The reason Daria doesn’t want to go, however, has nothing to do with watching Kevin and Brittany make out in the front of the bus for two hours. We learn — although Beber doesn’t make it explicit — that Daria hates malls. She hates the mall culture, and wants nothing to do with the very concept of a mega-mall, finding its very existence offensive.

Undoubtedly, part of Daria’s hatred comes from the fact that Quinn enjoys going to the mall and enjoys shopping — we remember Daria being dragged to the mall in “Esteemsters,” to watch her mother shop as a reward. And if Quinn likes going to malls, then Daria probably doesn’t. But it's Jodie that manages to put it in words:

I have a question. Do you think our demographic can really be addressed by middle-aged middle managers telling us what’s
fun to buy?

The reader can conclude, although the show never states it explicitly, that Daria hates the entire culture of mindless purchasing that the mall represents, and hates that “middle-aged managers” manipulate young people into buying useless crap. As a matter of fact, that’s what Daria calls it. Her assessment of the Doo-Dads store is spot-on: “Who would buy such crappy, useless junk?”

No one goes to a mall to buy something like, say, a personalized talking astrolabe. (Borrowing from “’Tis the Fifteenth Season,” an episode of The Simpsons.) But I think that all of us who have been to a mall have run into high-end stores, like the one in The Simpsons, and low-end stores that sell “doo-dads” (the very name suggests something ill-defined).

Malls serve a purpose, but much of that purpose is to convince people to buy stuff that they don’t really want, don’t really need, and can’t really afford. And Daria really hates that. Therefore, it’s a fitting end to the episode that Daria wins armloads of this useless crap.

Daria can’t get away from this stuff even if she wants to. (I suspect that Doo-Dads is the source of the cheese model in her room.) And no one else in the world can get away from it, either — if you don’t want it, they’ll give it to you.

She doesn’t hate it enough that she makes too big a deal of it — her distaste is so great that she tries to feign illness to avoid going — but she goes, having little but contempt for the place. And when she believes that the other students like Jodie feel the same way, you can imagine her being a bit surprised when their ill-feeling can be bought off with some cheap coupons.

Daria’s no crusader — far from it. People can go to the mall if they want. But for the first time, we have Daria expressing a dislike for something, and that dislike stems from a deeply held principle.

When we see that Daria is a true cynic — “a failed idealist” — it completes an essential part of her character. She’s smart, she’s witty, she’s sarcastic, she clashes with the artificial standards set by popular people — and there are things that she not only doesn’t like, but has reasons for not liking.

Writing from 2007, I find a lot of fanfiction that doesn’t explore Daria’s deeply held beliefs, whatever deeply held beliefs you might wish to assign to her. A lot of earlier fanfiction told stories like this; a lot of more recent fanfiction does not. I think that fanfiction writers should return to this side of Daria and ask, “What does Daria believe in, and why?”

There is one weakness to the episode — the fact that Jane tags along with Daria, giving the impression that Jane’s sole reason for existence was to hang around with Daria and share witticisms. Jane doesn’t want to go to the mall, either, and we really don’t get a clue why. She gives a flippant answer to Mrs. Bennett:

I second Daria. The mall is a dangerous influence on today’s
teens, and the fluorescent lights give you seizures.

We can only conclude that the reason Jane doesn’t want to go is that she just wants to do whatever Daria is doing — which is no reason at all, turning her into a follower of Daria. A good-looking, artistically-hip follower, but a follower nonetheless.

Upon hindsight, one can assign reasons. Perhaps the mall is an affront in some way to her artistic sensibilities — which I find hard to believe, as Jane can take artistic interest even in “junk culture.” Andy Warhol would have loved going to the mall. Maybe she’s worried that it would be a dull day at the mall if Daria stayed behind at school.

My wife provided much better reasons. Most likely, Jane doesn’t want to go to the mall because it’s a place where one makes impulse purchases, and Jane doesn’t have any money to buy doo-dads and useless crap.

Furthermore, malls just aren’t where Jane shops. She shops on Dega Street, or at thrift stores, or pulls clothes from the ’40s out of old trunks in the attic. There’s not a mall on Earth — not even the “second or third largest mall on Earth” — that can cater to Jane’s unique fashion sense.

All in all, however, if you look hard, you get a glimpse of the “inner Daria” in “Malled,” the Daria that believes things strongly. When “Arts ’n’ Crass” comes along, we’ll find out just how far Daria will go if her beliefs are trampled.

And although “Arts ’n’ Crass” belongs on a pedestal of its own, the foundation stone of that episode is “Malled,” the first episode that implied that Daria doesn’t act like a hard-to-get-along-with ass just because she thinks it’s funny.

Random thoughts:

• This is the first appearance of Mrs. Bennett, a sadly underused character. Then again, only so many characters can take the stage.

• This is also the second time Daria’s big mouth inspired a teacher to add misery to her life. She unwittingly gives Mrs. Bennett the idea to take the class to the Mall of the Millennium, and she also gave Mr. O’Neill a wide-open door to plan a coffeehouse with just one snarky comment.

• Jodie can be a very smart manipulator. Despite her portrayal as a student council drone, we learn that Jodie knows how to work the system — it is she who puts on an act that convinces the mall executives to hand out the coupons.

• If you look really close on the Mall of the Millennium shuttle bus, you can find not only Rock-’n’-Roll Randy, but Lauren Gupty. I tell you, Rock-’n’-Roll Randy really gets around with the ladies! “Rock-’n’-roll forever!!!”

• Kevin and Brittany making out ... in the bus ... in the front of the bus. No comment.

• Upchuck is registering high on the meter of odiousness, going so far as to touch Brittany, in an unknown but inappropriate way. Maybe he just thinks he’s being bold.

• I’ve finally figured out why Kevin wears his football uniform, complete with shoulder pads and protective wear, as his default costume. It’s because Brittany hits him in the chest at least twice, and goes so far as to step on his foot! Kevin is being cluelessly obnoxious in this episode, and it’s the only way Brittany can get him to shut up, but I suspect that he gets hit a lot by Brittany. Maybe violence just runs in Brittany’s family. I hope he wears his cup.

• “Perky ... a little bouncy ... not too bouncy!” Is Brittany talking about what I think she’s talking about in front of that full length mirror, or am I just reading too much into that?

• The first appearance of the Fashion Club foursome — Sandi, Quinn, Stacy, and Tiffany, together at last. The voice actors for Stacy and Tiffany are still finding the characters, who don’t quite sound the way they should be. It is also noteworthy in that we learn that Quinn has a group of contemporaries with whom she shares common ground.

However, I’m most surprised by Sandi. Her eyes are drawn wide-open and expressive, and not the mean little beady-eyes we see in later episodes. She smiles. Quinn and Sandi exchange genuine compliments with each other, and the typical bitchiness accompanying future Fashion Club meetings is completely absent. I’ll go into more detail as to why this was doomed not to last in later essays.

• In the end, the Fashion Club is all jammed into the back seat — Quinn has to work the kinks out of her legs later — while Daria rides up front, happy as a clam with Guy. A funny little moment.

When Usenet Ruled the Earth: A Review of “Café Disaffecto”

2007-03-24T18:22:00.000-07:00

Today is the 10th anniversary of the first airing of “Café Disaffecto.” One of the hardest parts of writing about this episode was establishing an overarching theme, and evaluating the rest of the episode by how the components support or detract from that theme.

I then realized that this doesn’t work for “Café Disaffecto.” The reason why is that “Café Disaffecto” wasn’t supposed to be about anything. There was not supposed to be some cryptic inner meaning, no heavy philosophical ponderings. It was supposed to be a lighthearted and fun episode, and in my personal opinion, it was the first successful episode written by Glenn Eichler.

At the beginning of the episode, thieves toss a brick through the window of Lawndale’s cybercafé alt.lawndale.com and make off with valuable computer equipment. The business closes shop, and Mr. O’Neill concludes that the shutting down of alt.lawndale.com is an assault on the heart of the community of Lawndale itself. He bemoans the loss of the café in front of his class, but his students are ambivalent at best about the loss of alt.lawndale.com.

Daria is (unfortunately) queried as to her own opinion about the incident and she states that the ambience of the café could be replaced by putting a coffee machine in the computer lab. Mr. O’Neill somehow interprets this as being a call to create a coffeehouse, complete with poetry readings, in place of the shuttered cybercafé.

Mr. O’Neill’s quixotic quest draws little interest from Daria until Quinn’s mention of the Fashion Club at home prompts Helen to ask why Daria can’t be involved in such extracurricular projects. (If Helen knew the exact details of the Fashion Club’s “extracurriculars,” she’d make Quinn wear a chastity belt.) Unless Daria finds some outside-of-school involvement that she could put on a college application, Helen “suggests” (read: threatens) to send Daria to music camp during the summer.

All Daria can remember about music camp is the endless practicing of “Pop! Goes the Weasel” during the brief time she played the flute. To avoid a fate worse than death, Daria “volunteers” for helping with the new coffeehouse, but avoids Mr. O’Neill’s call to perform. Instead, she agrees to help with fundraising by selling candy, and sways Jane from her disinterest in tagging along by noting that as candy salesmen, they’ll get to look inside other people’s houses.

While Kevin and Brittany end up at an unhappy Mr. DeMartino’s door, and Quinn uses role-playing to become a successful salesman of phone cards, Daria and Jane end up at the door of Mrs. Johansen, a morbidly obese woman very interested in purchasing candy from Daria and Jane. Mrs. Johansen wants to buy all of the candy, but mentions that her doctor said she shouldn’t have “too much” chocolate, and later passes out from overexertion.

When she comes to, Daria has misgivings about selling the woman any candy at all, even as Mrs. Johansen insistently agrees to purchase candy at a high markup. Mrs. Johansen becomes quite belligerent, but Daria states later that “the chocolate would have killed her,” and Daria and Jane leave the angry Mrs. Johansen behind.

Daria and Jane are both called into Ms. Li’s office. All Principal Li can understand is that a woman was willing to pay for chocolate beyond cost, and Daria and Jane refused to sell it to them. When Daria states that they were afraid of killing the woman, Ms. Li tells them that because they refused to make a sale to a customer, they cannot claim extracurricular credit for fundraising for the coffeehouse.

Not wanting to return to the Morgendorffer household and have no defense against the threat of Music Camp, Daria reluctantly agrees to gain her credit by performing at the coffeehouse. The question is, can Daria find something to perform that won’t deliberately alienate the customers and the school authorities, but still allow her to be Daria? Daria tells Jane that she will write something new.

The opening night is no great shakes. A punk rocker sings a crappy lyric and smashes his guitar, Brittany’s plans for performing the balcony scene of “Romeo and Juliet” fall apart because Kevin forgets his lines, and Andrea gives the customers a view of her particularly dark universe.

This leaves Daria, who reads from her newest story “Where the Future Takes Us.” It starts out briefly with a vapid statement about the challenges students face in the future, but rapidly turns into something more interesting: a story about a spy called Melody Powers, who bloodily dispatches communists in the Cold War era. The crowd cheers Daria’s work, which inspires the attending football players to riot, as they march down Lawndale’s streets looking to stone the Russian Embassy. (There are no embassies anywhere in Lawndale, the local paper notes.)

Mr. O’Neill is forced to shut down the coffeehouse, lest it become a “base of operations for political extremists.” Daria, however, finally has her extracurricular credit.

Before the closing credits run, a brick is hurled through the coffeehouse window and a thief makes off with the espresso machine. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

I was mentioning “Café Disaffecto” to my wife, Ruth, and one of her first observations was “That episode is so dated!” And it is dated. Undoubtedly, many of you 17-and-18-year-old readers might have no idea what a cybercafé is! Some explanation:

Early in the days of the Internet — I’m talking 1995 or 1996 here — a good desktop personal computer could set you back about three thousand dollars. Thus, instead of purchasing an expensive computer, you could just “rent the Internet” by going to a cybercafé and renting time on a personal computer. Before you jest at the suggestion, Janet Neilson (Canadibrit) spent much of her time at cybercafés and was quite productive as a fan-fiction author. (I do not know whether coffee was served.)

Today, the cybercafé is deader than dinosaur shit. PCs are cheap and almost everyone has a laptop. The closest thing to a cybercafé these days is Starbucks, and everyone there has brought their own personal PC. The only thing a modern-day thief would be able to steal at a Wi-Fi hotspot would be bandwidth, and he’d steal that hiding with a laptop in a parked car.

However, we do come to a few conclusions beyond the obvious. The episode establishes that Mr. O’Neill is not just a horrible self-esteem teacher — he’s a horrible teacher, period. He commits all the major sins: He doesn’t remember students’ names, not even after he’s had a long time to interact with them. He speaks in a sort of self-improvement “cant” that precludes true human involvement. What’s worst of all, he substitutes the real needs and opinions of his students with his own needs and opinions.

One suspects that Mr. O’Neill had the idea of a coffeehouse percolating (so to speak) in his mind for a time after learning of the theft at alt.lawndale.com; when Daria expressed her opinion about the matter, he substituted his opinion for Daria’s!

I always figured that if confronted with a modern-day Mr. O’Neill, I could do what Jane suggested — “Just enjoy the nice man’s soothing voice.” But after “Café Disaffecto,” I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of students left the class with a loathing of literature in general, and of Mr. O’Neill in particular. The man deserves the lack of respect he gets from his students.

We do see a situation where, once again, Daria is compelled to do something she’d rather not do. But unlike earlier episodes, Daria has more choice in the matter. She could have done anything else other than participate in Mr. O’Neill’s coffeehouse dream, but decided that this would be the most convenient project. Furthermore ... this time Daria actually brings Jane along with her in a scheme!

This episode also portrays Daria, and other supporting characters, in a bit darker tone than usual. (Is this Eichler being influenced by his Beavis and Butt-head days?) And I’m not talking about Andrea’s coffeehouse poem. Rather, the bizarre scene with the morbidly obese Mrs. Johansen and Daria and Jane. Johansen passes out and Daria and Jane have this discussion as to what to do next:

Jane: We should be doing something right now. I’m sure of it.
Daria: Yeah, I think you’re right.
(Silence. Jane lifts up her instant camera to snap a picture
of the unconscious woman. Absolutely no concern about
Johansen on Jane’s part.)

But the pure strength of the episode — one of the reasons why fans make this one of the favorite Season One episodes — comes from the fact of many very funny lines. A sample:

Kevin: Daria, you’re a chick, right?
Daria: Why? You have a biology test today?

Mr. O’Neill: I think what’s most disturbing about this crime is the symbolism involved. Don’t you agree, Jane?
Jane (deadpan): No.

Mr. O’Neill: Right here and now, let’s pledge to make Daria’s dream a reality.
Daria: You mean the one where people walking down the street burst into flames?

(Mrs. Johansen has passed out)
Daria: Uh-oh.
Jane: Did she hit her head?
Daria: I don’t think so.
Jane: Do you know CPR or anything?
Daria: I once gave the Heimlich maneuver to Quinn.
Jane: Did it work?
Daria: She wasn’t choking.

(About Daria’s and Jane’s refusal to sell Mrs. Johansen chocolate)
Ms. Li: How do you know it wasn’t for her family?
Jane: She has no family. She ate them.

Ms. Li (to Daria): You do want this extracurricular activity, don’t you?
Jane (quietly to Daria): “Pop! Goes the Weasel!”

(At Brittany’s botched Shakespeare reading)
Brittany: “Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?”
Kevin: I’m right here, babe!!

All in all, definitely some very funny stuff. It might not be a very deep episode, but “Café Disaffecto” is worth a refill.

Random thoughts:

• One of the earliest Daria fan sites, run by Katherine Goodman, was called alt.lawndale, obviously inspired by this episode.

• The alt.lawndale.com comes from the naming conventions of Usenet (which is also deader than dinosaur shit) and from the .com suffix appended to Website addresses.

• We learn that Kevin has a computer. What does he use it for? Undoubtedly nothing educational. Maybe it’s loaded with “Madden ’97.”

• There are lots of firsts in this episode: first appearance of Mrs. Johansen, first speaking appearance of Andrea, and the first mention of the infamous Melody Powers, who leaves a trail of dead men wherever she goes. Melody is sexy, and willing to kiss and kill, very much unlike her creator.

• You can’t say that Quinn is completely brain-dead — not only is she perfectly up to date with fashion, but we find out that Quinn is a master salesman.

• The appearance of the muumuu-clad Mrs. Johansen adds a Fellini-esque element to the episode, leading me to think that Eichler is flashing back to his days with Mike Judge. However, in my opinion, nothing beats Mr. DeMartino holding a conversation with Kevin and Brittany at his front door — while wearing a chef’s toque blanche and holding a frozen chicken. That’s wrong on so many levels it boggles the mind. I’ll bet, however, that Mr. D’s chicken would do a better job at memorizing Shakespeare than Kevin Thompson.

Thanks, Kem!

2007-03-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

Long-time fan, artist, and writer KemicalReaxion (Amy) is engaged, and we wish her every happiness. She plans to continue her art and fiction, including Dariafen works on occasion.

As such life changes will do, though, she’s reconsidered the time she spends with fandoms, and has chosen both to withdraw from the message boards and to no longer update her fansite, Glitter Berries.

Her site will stay on line, at least for now. If you haven’t visited it, you should. It has many valuable features and archives for Daria fans, using well-turned Web functions to make it easy to navigate.

It’s dismaying to mark any such project as being “dormant,” but time and lives inevitably move on. Thanks, Kem, for being such an articulate and active admirer of Daria, and for remaining a valued friend to so many of the rest of us.

Kevin Goes to Broadway

2007-03-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

Marc Thompson, voice actor for Kevin Thompson, Mr. O’Neill, and Mr. DeMartino, is getting a chance to act on Broadway — voice act, that is.

This month, a Broadway production based on Eric Bogosian’s Talk Radio has opened. Talk Radio is the story of an acid tongued, late night talk-show radio host and the callers that he gets one night. Thompson does voice work as one of the callers — but is not seen on stage, only heard as a disembodied voice until all of the “callers” come out and take their final bow at the end.

The information is from the New York Times and the article is called “The Larynxes That Invaded Broadway.” (Unfortunately, this is select content and you have to register with the NYT to get it.)

The excerpted part of the article gives not only information about Thompson, but also details as to what he’s been up to after Daria:

One of those cogs is Marc Thompson, whose callers include a disabled man speaking almost exclusively in clichés like “When they give you lemons, make lemonade.” A married father of two, he was a minister for the New York City Church of Christ when he was laid off two years ago. The future appeared bleak. “I looked at selling life insurance,” he said.

Instead Mr. Thompson, who holds an acting degree from New York University, started going on auditions. He had been doing voice-over work on the side while preaching and soon found jobs on MTV’s Daria and the Cartoon Network’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He may be most familiar for the Citibank identity theft commercial where two elderly women sitting on a sofa drinking tea have dubbed-in biker-dude voices. “I’m Thelma, the lady on the left,” he said.

When he received a callback for Talk Radio, he was elated, especially because he has limited stage experience. But then he realized he would probably have to reject any offer: the play is peppered with profanity, and Mr. Thompson, who still preaches on occasion, does not curse.

It turned out there were enough callers with mild language that he was cast anyway. “When they told me, I cried,” said Mr. Thompson, who, inevitably enough, ended up playing an evangelical Christian caller. “They’ve been really understanding and gracious. Two years ago I had nowhere to go. I feel blessed, and I think it’s a miracle.”

Fanworks Update

2007-03-18T01:01:00.000-07:00

These fanworks have been posted or linked to since 22 February 2007 at an active fansite or message board. Fiction is complete unless noted.

Fan Fiction

AgathaMalady: A Lot Unsaid (partial)

Angelboy: Diary Entries (Chapter 4, continued)

The Angst Guy (special long-title edition) {g}: And I on the Opposite Shore Will Be, The Ballad of Stacy Rowe (song), Snowflakes (with illustrations), Suite for Cello, Two-Part Invention, Though the Course May Change Sometimes, Rivers Always Reach the Sea, You Don’t Need a Weatherman to Know Which Way the Wind Blows

Bhut: The Four Fashionables

Cap: Everyone Goes to Nick’s, The Road Home

CDM: Demon Princess Quinn 1: Quinn Anwnn (Chapter 7)

DJW: Open Windows 4: Stuff Happens (done)

Doggieboy: Apocalyptic Daria (Part 4)

E.A. Smith: Good Intentions (done)

Emeraldstoker: Flu (partial)

Fezenclop: Daria’s Web (Chapter 8, partial)

Mandelore: Daria Wars, Episode One: The Lawndale Menace (partial)

NightGoblyn: The Heather/Damsel Chronicles (Story 1, Chapter 2) (links)

Ranger Thorne: Open for Daria’s Unaired Pilot (script)

The Ranting Klown: Et j’ai pleuré (Part 2), The Rest of My Damn Life: The Past, Present and Future, The Rest of My Damn Life: The Emancipation of Killer (Part 1)

RLobinske: Eternity (done), John Lane 25: Echoes of a Relationship

Roentgen: The Class of Lawndale High School (song)

Starmeshelion: Lawndale Girls (song)

Fan Art

Dreamweaver: Quinn as a Cheerleader

The Great Saiyaman: Growing Pains (Revised Edition) — erotic art*

HelpfulSkittlesExplosion: Requiem - A Graphic Novella (Page 5)

Hershey-chan: Daria, Jane, Quinn, Sandi, Stacy

JennaUsername: The Phantom of the Zon (filmed-fanfic poster)

Kidmarvelj: Jane Lane Again, Jane Lane Biro

MDetector5: Assorted Sketches

Minkychanz: Daria/Trent, Tiffany Wearing a Blue Shirt — erotic art*

Psychotol: Triple Tap

Reese Kaine: Lawndale (teaser art), Whoa, I Have Hands

Robin Sena: Mystik Spiral on Tour

S.C.: Daria Demo Reel (video, links), Daria SinCity: The Donneria Party

Specter-Smoke: Daria

* Available in the hidden members-only section of SFMB

“It Kind of Sucked”: A Review of “College Bored”

2007-03-17T13:44:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the first showing of the Daria episode “College Bored,” and unlike the other two episodes, I don’t think there will be a clinking of champagne glasses. On the other hand, “College Bored” aired on March 17, 1997 — St. Patrick’s Day — so I assume some intoxication is in order.

When fans compare lists of their favorite episodes, “College Bored” seems to have failed to matriculate. At the “Daria by Numbers” Website, “College Bored” ranks fourth out of five in the “thirds” category (comparing episodes 103, 203, 303, 403, and 503) and doesn’t even make it on the list of favorite Season One episodes.

“College Bored” was written by Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil. It certainly wasn’t their first shot at writing for television — they had worked with Mike Judge on Beavis and Butt-head and wrote the hilarious episode “Candy Sale.” Chris Marcil had written some episodes of NewsRadio, a good if overlooked comedy.

If blame is to be assessed, it isn’t on Johnson’s and Marcil’s lack of experience — they would end up writing five Daria episodes. (Johnson and Marcil, Glenn Eichler, Anne D. Bernstein, Peggy Nichol, and Neena Beber would end up writing over half of all the Daria episodes.)

The episode starts with Helen and Jake going to meet some friends and dragging Daria and Quinn along. As it turns out, the family honored by this visit has a three-year-old daughter who is already on the fast track to college, given all the right preschool instructional materials to prepare a toddler for the SATs.

Feeling insecure about Daria’s and Quinn’s futures, Jake and Helen sign their children up for a college prep course. The instructor assigns the students (among them, several familiar Lawndale High School faces) the task of visiting a college on their own, but Helen and Jake insert themselves into the process. Soon, the entire family is on the road to Middleton College, where Jake and Helen apparently first met as students.

As a school, the only thing Middleton College has in common with an Ivy League school is its age and the amount it costs to attend. The four are guided about campus by a tour guide, Heather, but soon they all go their own ways. Jake and Helen try to ride a wave of nostalgia, but the obnoxious and disinterested students bring them crashing to reality. Quinn finds sorority row and is soon on her way to becoming Keg Queen.

Daria follows Heather and finds that in Heather’s case, at least, college life consists of watching Sick, Sad World and paying for other people to write your term papers. After looking at what Heather has purchased, Daria believes she can surpass it in quality, and soon opens her own shingle selling term papers.

Jake learns that it takes the help of Tony Soprano to pay for school at Middleton, and Helen is accosted by a frat pledge who wants to hang her panties from a flagpole:

Geek: But since the house moved off-campus, we found that student panties aren't big enough to be seen from the quad. I’ve been observing you, ma’am. I think your underwear just might do the trick!

Helen and Jake, having lost the girls, call in the police to help. The police arrive as Quinn is acclaimed Keg Queen, and all four of them are thrown off campus, as Daria and Quinn are both underage.

Jane gets to do the summing up: “All in all, then, the whole college experience kind of sucked.” The end.

For the third episode in a row, we have Daria compelled to do something that she does not want to do: in “Esteemsters,” it was attending an esteem class, in “The Invitation,” it was attending Brittany Taylor’s party, and in “College Bored,” it was attending (first) a college prep course and (second) Middleton with her parents and sister.

As I wrote about in “‘Daria’: An Infinite Engine of Stories,” there is a difficulty in telling stories about a character who doesn’t like to interact with other people. Contrivances are needed to make those characters part of the story, and nowhere is this more obvious than “College Bored.”

Daria is the kind of person who would clearly look forward to going to college, if only to get away from her parents and sister. I don’t really see why Daria wouldn’t want to take a college prep course — she doesn’t need it, but it is something she wouldn’t have much of a problem with. But how can you have Quinn in the story unless both of them are forced?

This sets up the next contrivance — students at the prep course are required to visit a college — which sets up another contrivance of Jake and Helen overriding whatever desires Daria or Quinn have in choosing their own college to visit.

The characters are never allowed to “find their own way.” They are merely dragged wherever the writers need them to be, so that whatever jokes the viewer finds in the characters’ discomfort can finally have their payoffs.

It would have been a much better idea for Daria to want to attend a college prep class (without Quinn), choose a college to visit, only to have Helen and Jake insert themselves into the process and Quinn drag herself along. In this plot, at least, Daria would have been in charge of her destiny for part of the episode instead of being the victim of circumstance.

Another flaw of the episode deals with its premise, so succinctly stated by Jane: College kind of sucks, or at least, it’s not as great as a high school student might believe it is. Yes, college sucks, but Johnson and Marcil paint a murky picture of why it sucks. Does it suck because college students are barbarians? Does it suck because it’s so expensive? Does it suck because cheating is rampant? Is the Greek system out of control?

Rather than build some plot that could make one of these arguments strongly and bring the other arguments in as supporting points or to add background, Johnson and Marcil seem desperate to cover all of their bases. They make a set of arguments, with one-shot characters, and none of it leaves any impression at all. There is so much that could have been done with this episode; it is surprising that they do so little with it.

As for another failing of the episode, it seems that the writers still haven’t decided what Quinn is. Is she a brain-dead fashionista who reaches sub-Kevin levels of intelligence, unaware that there is no such thing as a “making-out scholarship” and proud of her acceptance to Manatee College?

Or is she a manipulator that could put Machiavelli to shame, insinuating herself as a sorority Theta pledge, getting the most rowdy of fraternity brothers to play “zoom-zoom-schwartz,” and becoming Keg Queen by the acclaim of the Middleton fraternities, without even managing to graduate high school?

At least Brittany’s military skills in “The Daria Hunter” can be marked up to some savant-like skill with the martial arts that leaves the rest of her mind untouched by human thought. There’s an old saying that one cannot self-aggrandize and self-deprecate at the same time. You can’t claim to be a genius and an idiot at the same time, and put on whichever hat suits whichever argument you’re making.

One of the most annoying things about Daria is that writers (both TV and fan fiction) tend to make Quinn cunning or brain-dead depending on whether or not the plot depends on it. The “making-out scholarship” line was just too much for me. Is Quinn really that naïve?

(Oddly enough, when Mr. Edwards comes on to Tiffany in “Lucky Strike,” I fail to see why it’s so shocking. At least three older men have come on to underage Daria characters: the instructor in “College Bored,” the minister in “I Don’t,” and the car salesman in “Partner’s Complaint.”)

Like Middleton College, this is an episode in disrepair, with the structure not holding up very well and the odd chunk of masonry falling from the sky, or perhaps hurled through a dorm window. It was “just a bunch of stuff that happened” and not really very funny. However, we’ll get a reprieve as Glenn Eichler returns to write a better episode with “Café Disaffecto.”

Random thoughts:

• Some fans might not know that Sam and Chris Griffin — the younger brothers of Sandi Griffin — take their first names from Sam Johnson and Chris Marcil.

• We get a look into the fantasy worlds of several Daria characters — Daria, Jane, Kevin, Brittany, and Quinn. In Kevin’s and Brittany’s cases, we see that each of them looks forward to college because, among other things, it means a higher class of boyfriend (or girlfriend). In retrospect, Brittany’s crossed fingers at the end of “Is It College Yet?” shouldn’t have been surprising. Also, Kevin initially imagines himself as much smaller than his fellow college football players — hints of an insecure side of Kevin? — before he re-envisions himself to be just as massive and powerful as the other jocks.

• Quinn’s fantasy is to move into a dorm room with three handsome men with chiseled jaws, model looks, and hardbodies. For a few seconds, one is given the impression that this is a romantic — or even sexual — fantasy! But Quinn’s fantasy reaches fruition only when the three start fighting over her. This, apparently, is Quinn’s turn-on — not sex, but power over boys.

• At the end of the episode, we get brief glimpses of what the other characters did during their college visits. Kevin visited a frat and was put through the humiliations of a frat pledge, ending up naked and covered in molasses. Brittany found herself among students sharing poetry, and was allowed to share her own poetry and have her thoughts valued. Mack learned about the “first-string exemption,” i.e., that first-string football players don’t have to take exams. (I suspect that Mack’s college visit was as disheartening as Daria’s.)

• Mike Quinn’s comment from his initial review has always stuck with me:

By the way, if you ever meet any stranger that eager to ask for your underwear, he shouldn't be too hard to catch because of his enormous balls.

The Power of “Giri”: A Review of “The Invitation”

2007-03-10T18:49:00.000-08:00

It’s March 10, 2007 and today is the tenth anniversary of the first airing of the Season One Daria episode “The Invitation” on MTV. I’m surprised there isn’t more celebration — “The Invitation” was a sign of the strong episodes to come in the first season, undoubtedly the most popular season of Daria. “The Invitation” was a real treat. It was, in essence, an “invitation” to the potential of both the series and the characters, even the potential of weak characters if used right.

This episode was the first episode written by Anne D. Bernstein, who would end up writing eight episodes of Daria. She also wrote The Daria Diaries, which was the first written supplement to the series, giving Bernstein an authoritative position in the interpretation of the characters.

One suspects — but cannot prove — that Bernstein was not told when her episode would be aired, which meant that she thought her episode would either be the very first episode or among the very first. This is a common practice in the television industry, where six writers are told that they might be writing the “pilot” episode to a series, and as a result, those six episodes are where characters are best defined and the writing is most compelling. In the future episodes of a continuing series, it is assumed that the viewer knows who everyone is and that there is no further need for original plotting!

Ostensibly, “The Invitation” is about a party thrown by Brittany Taylor, the head cheerleader at Lawndale High School. Daria is given an invitation to Brittany’s party. However, Daria, who would never be caught dead at such a place, attends only because Jane encourages her and because it gives Daria a chance to embarrass her popularity-obsessed sister, Quinn.

So, for one night, Brittany Taylor’s house becomes the focal point of the Lawndale High School universe, forcing all the student characters together and compelling them to be at their best (or worst). It’s the “Joe Goes to a Party” episode, which is a staple of sitcom writing.

However, the casual viewer — who might have been a bit disappointed after “Esteemsters” — quickly learns that the episode is not about a party, or about Brittany, or even about Daria. Rather, “The Invitation” is about an ugly truth of high school life, that high school life is based on the feudal Japanese concept of giri, or reciprocal obligation.

There are people alive who will tell you, with all honesty, that their high school years were the best years of their lives. (Most of these people, however, do not watch Daria.) The conceit is that high school is supposed to be “the great equalizer,” where kids can have a somewhat equal relationship with their peers before they have to join the working world and social relationships are reorganized along the lines of foreman/worker and executive/assistant. These years are supposed to be “free” years for kids. “Thank God you lazy kids don’t have jobs! I wish I was back in high school!"

Some survivors of high school would tell a different story. High school is a stratified society with a pecking order that would make Byzantine court life a model of honesty and forthrightness. The joke of the episode is that very few people end up at Brittany’s party because of a meaningful connection with Brittany. Rather, their status obligates them to be there, or they are there to seek popularity, or they are there simply for Brittany to pay off her karmic debts.

The chain starts with Daria. Brittany is struggling with the concept of one-point perspective in Ms. Defoe’s art class, and Daria, in a moment of weakness, helps Brittany master the concept. This leaves Brittany in the “one-down” position — Brittany must somehow reciprocate and she decides on an act of kindness of her own. Daria gets an invitation to Brittany’s party. Brittany is quick to qualify her act of kindness with a “just this once,” as if to settle any confusion that this might be a genuine offer of real friendship.

Daria is “especially flattered” when she is told by Brittany that Brittany had told the cheerleaders that she wouldn’t invite any more “really attractive girls.” Daria quickly learns her place in the Lawndale High pecking order — she is unpopular, but not “so unpopular” that her appearance at Brittany’s party would cause a loss of status for Brittany.

Meanwhile, the Three Js — in their first appearance — are learning that as football players, they belong to a special protected class which is automatically invited to any party thrown by a cheerleader. The Three Js immediately begin “negotiation” with Quinn as to who will win the right to be her date. Quinn, however, compares dating one of the Js to eating the first pancake off the stove — “You have to feed one to the dog!” For the Js, it’s going to be five seasons of blue balls for the most part.

Daria discusses her windfall — so to speak — with Jane. Jane feels that going to the party would be a hoot, and she could get some good sketches there. Daria, however, has no interest, and now it is Jane’s turn to offer the argument that a party would be a great place to draw sketches. (I personally suspect that Jane wants to go — Jane can draw Lawndale High School kids from life five days a week — but Jane needs a “rational” excuse to best appeal to Daria.)

When Daria claims disinterest, Jane imitates Daria by borrowing Daria’s glasses and imitating Daria’s famous monotone. “‘Hi. I’m Daria. Go to hell.’” It seems that after only one episode, Jane has summed up Daria with particular accuracy.

(Jane later makes a sarcastic remark to Tom in “Dye! Dye! My Darling” that “[Daria] loves to have fun,” suggesting that Jane has spent many a night watching TV with Daria despite Jane’s inclination to the contrary.)

However, Quinn learns that Daria will be at the party, which could lead to a disastrous weakening of Quinn’s popularity. Rather than resorting to bribing Daria at the beginning of negotiations, she takes a hard line with Daria and tries to call in the wrath of Helen and Jake as a hole card.

Daria gains the brief satisfaction of watching Quinn’s attempts fail, but that satisfaction disappears when Daria is offered the choice of either going to the party to keep a watchful eye on Quinn or being saddled with both Quinn and a babysitter.

Later in the episode, Daria is straightforward about the social dynamic between her and her parents:

Quinn: You want to call Mom and Dad?
Daria: And shift the balance of power? We walk.

When Daria and Jane finally arrive at the party, one low point of the night is meeting someone even lower on the social scale than either of them: the odious Charles “Upchuck” Ruttheimer, a sleaze who compulsively comes on to any girl in distance, even coming on to the unpopular Daria and Jane.

Daria, putting the pieces together, boldly inquires how on earth someone like Upchuck could get invited to Brittany’s party. Upchuck, however, is painfully aware of the truth. “I dissected her frog."

(There has to be a fanfic in that somewhere, with Brittany arguing with herself whether giri is so powerful that Upchuck must be offered an invitation to balance the scales and to prevent Upchuck from suggesting some amorous form of payback.)

Indeed, Brittany knows that it is not affection or camaraderie that makes a good party. It’s the most popular people with the best-looking hair. That’s what makes a great party.

The mysterious character, called “Tori Jericho” by Daria fans everywhere, sums it up.

Blonde Girl: Now, she’s really popular, but not as popular as she is. He’s medium popular, and he just bought a great car, so soon he’ll be getting more popular. That guy was just popular enough to be invited, but now he needs to hook up with a girl who’s more popular than he is. ... Now, she used to be very popular, but then there was that unfortunate nose job. That one behind the tiger? She was new and cute so she became, like, popular overnight. (points at Daria, Jane, and Upchuck) Those three aren’t popular at all. I don’t know what they’re doing here. Maybe some kind of exchange program.

Even Tori Jericho knows there are exceptions to any rule. Anyone can be invited to any party if giri is powerful enough.

If the episode were a mere commentary on the high school pecking order and the power of giri, it would be a good episode, and certainly worthy of Season One. What makes “The Invitation” a great episode, however, is a comedic technique I prefer to call “economy of scale."

For a simple explanation, I’ll look at part of the episode: the part where Daria and Jane arrive at the gate of the gated community and Jane is challenged by the guard to prove that her name is on the party list. (Remember, Jane is coming without an invitation.) The joke is that Jane passes herself off as “Tiffany,” figuring there has to be at least one girl named Tiffany at the party — but is caught, as there are several Tiffanys at Brittany’s party and Jane agrees with a phony last name suggested by the suspicious guard.

Most writers would have wrapped up the scene right there. The scene was funny, it was a good joke, and it need not be retold again. However, Bernstein comes back to the gate and its too-confident guard not once, but multiple times!

1. Daria and Jane initially encounter the guard, but pass through when the guard is distracted by Jane’s nude sketches.
2. The guard, entranced by the nude sketches in Jane’s book, leaves the gate to find Jane at the party.
3. Without the guard, party crashers evade the gate and Brittany’s party becomes more raucous.
4. An unhappy resident curses the missing guard at the gate.
5. Daria and Jane take advantage of the absence of the guard and pull “gate duty” on unsuspecting Crewe Neck residents, challenging them to name Greek gods and to name particular tunes in less than seven notes in order to gain re-entry.
6. The guard is finally smoked out of the party by the Lawndale police, acting on the voice complaint.

There is economy of scale. A viewer is rewarded by paying close attention at the first scene at the gate, and the joke pays off further and further, cascading from the initial setup. Situations, once introduced, are used over and over again. (The ceramic tiger, Brittany’s concern about her non-functional jacuzzi, and the make-out room are all examples.)

Combined with the commentary of the nature of popularity, Daria’s summing up at the end of the episode is quite apt:

Daria: Well, I didn’t talk to a whole bunch of new people, I made Quinn want to throw herself down a well, and I’m going home with a bonus sock. All in all, a great night.

And in each of those assessments is a tale worth telling from a great episode.

Some minor observations:

• The first appearance of Tiffany outside the show intro (Stacy-Tiffany at the volleyball court). Anyone familiar with more than one episode of the series will note that Tiffany is voiced differently here than in any other episode. Tiffany sounds like your typical high school kid in “The Invitation,” but by the time we see her again in “Malled,” her voice is verrrrry slowwww with a California drawl. Fans have come up with every explanation for this abrupt change in Tiffany’s vocal tone and speed, everything from brain damage to heavy drug use.

The simplest explanation is that Ashley Albert, probably an intern at MTV at the time, was asked to voice some unknown teen attendee of Brittany’s party. Later, in “Malled,” Albert was asked to voice a new named friend of Quinn — “Tiffany” — and was probably given some instructions as to how Tiffany was supposed to sound. Most likely, Albert had no idea she was voicing the same character.

• Also the first appearances of: the Three Js (all of whom are named), Mack, Jodie, and Upchuck, as well as Jane’s brother, Trent.

• Sandi (first seen in “Esteemsters") makes a catty remark about Brittany’s non-functioning jacuzzi, which gives some hint to Sandi’s future “mean girl” personality in her role as President of the Fashion Club.

• Jane notices that Daria is somewhat tongue-tied about Trent, setting up the “Daria wuvs Trent” running story that would last until “Jane’s Addition."

Roll ’Em!

2007-03-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Frames from two Dariafilms in progress ...

The anti-homecoming-queen’s got a gun! (by Hikinikicu)

Get your kicks / In Episode 66! (by ReeseKaine)

(Our titles, borrowed from songs, not theirs ... {grin})

ReeseKaine told me later that this is part of a movement study, and that it's ultimately intended for a Webcomic entitled “Lawndale.” ~ Greybird

In Honor of the 10th Anniversary ...

2007-03-03T12:11:00.000-08:00

... an old essay that was once published elsewhere, but never for the Internet. Enjoy!

I’ll name myself “heretic” and “unclean” by stating to Daria fandom ...

I don’t care for “Esteemsters.”

There, I’ve said it. Feels good, too. I’m sure, however, that there are several people who agree with me. Those who don’t agree deserve an explanation of why I feel this way.

This is not to serve as proof for once and forever that “Esteemsters” is a bad episode. It might even be your favorite episode. But I don’t care for it. Here’s why.

The problem is that I thought that Daria would be another version of Beavis and Butt-head, which centered on one smart girl instead of two very dumb boys. You would never think that Mike Judge, who created a show about two dumbasses and their immaturity, would be a masterful writer — but he was.

As for people who had watched Beavis and Butt-head and looked forward to Daria catching some sunlight of her own ... well, coming from Mike Judge to Glenn Eichler, they were bound to be disappointed.

People who have never seen Beavis and Butt-head might believe that she was a major player in B&B. She wasn’t. She was one of those intriguing but underused characters — the “Andrea” of Mike Judge’s “Beavisverse.” Daria had some strong competition in B&B — Daria was no irresistible force, but the boys were definitely immovable objects. They made fun of Daria at every opportunity.

Daria, in turn, blew off the insults and could make her own sly counter-comments that the boys probably wouldn’t understand even if each comment were explained to them. Daria was never really in the “down” position in Beavis and Butt-head, and despite the constant chants of “Diarrhea, cha cha cha,” you got the sense that Daria was a smart young girl who could hold her own.

But what a different world it is in “Esteemsters”! From holding her own against the two chief protagonists in Judge’s cartoon, Daria finds herself barely eking out survival against much weaker characters. Shallow Quinn is the one that rules Lawndale High, and Daria is the “problem child” in her own home.

Hell, Daria’s even an outcast in Mr. DeMartino’s class, and she tells her parents that “My history teacher hates me because I know all the answers.” She gets dumped into the geek cage of Mr. O’Neill’s self-esteem class. From the perspective of a B&B fan, Daria has been exiled to Hell.

The character design isn’t as rich as that in Beavis and Butt-head. Those who aren’t familiar with B&B might think that the crispness and fine lines of Daria are a big improvement over the muddied look of B&B. Yet, amongst the Earth-tones of B&B, every background character radiates personality.

The other classroom characters in B&B looked tougher — like they could eat Andrea and anyone else for breakfast. Each one told a story the second you laid eyes on them. Here’s the tough guy who works out. Here’s the Punk Girl, and here’s Trailer Trash. They were all mysterious, intriguing.

Background characters in Daria — the extras we see walking behind Daria and Jane, the nameless ones — have very little character, and nowhere is this more evident than in the self-esteem class, where every loser looks more or less like the loser sitting nearby. Even Jane doesn’t stand out as anyone to whom you’d pay closer attention. Indeed, Jane sounds more like Trent than like Jane — if the voice actor can’t find the personality, what are we to conclude?

It begs the question of what Eichler, who wrote “Esteemsters,” wanted to prove.

His supporting characters are no great shakes. It’s hard to play Daria as a strong character when so many of the supporting characters are so one-dimensional, and “Esteemsters” is Exhibit A. Contrasted with Kevin and Brittany, any character from Beavis and Butt-head with a grain of intelligence would come off as an intellectual dynamo.

And what might have been! Andrea and Sandi, two characters with interesting personalities of their own, have a grand total combined of one line during this episode. Mack and Jodie aren’t even on the scene. Nor is Upchuck with his sleazy charm. Aside from Jane, the only students we get to know are Kevin and Brittany. Helen’s control mode and Jake’s clueless mode are only just powering up, and Quinn is as shallow as she ever would be in Seasons One and Two, if not more so.

Having Daria the outcast is one thing; having her outclassed and exiled by such poorly defined or developed characters is something else entirely. If their popularity or shallowness were a symbol of some deeper, darker force at work, I could understand, but that is clearly not evident.

Even if Daria truly reigns triumphant, what kind of victory is it? It’s the fish-barrel-gun syndrome. What kind of victory is it defeating such cardboard cutouts as these?

The problem is that we get no impression that anyone in this series can be anything other than what one’s first impression implies. All of Judge’s characters — even the stereotypes — had some reason for existing besides providing a cheap laugh for his main characters, Beavis and Butt-head. Every character that Judge created held the kernel of a developed character.

By contrast, “Esteemsters” introduces us to Kevin and Brittany, who — in five seasons! — never truly found their voices. Indeed, characters in Daria seemed to develop rather painfully, and seemingly with a lot of resistance from the writing staff.

Daria was always a good series, but never on the level of the greatest cartoon series ever. Why? I can give you several reasons — named O’Neill, DeMartino, Kevin, and Brittany. You can come up with answers of your own. Coming from Beavis and Butt-head and Judge’s four years of interesting characters, it’s a real comedown.

Furthermore, the script for “Esteemsters” is just not that funny. Of course, everyone quotes “I don’t have low self-esteem ... I have low esteem for everyone else.” But can you really name ONE other funny line for that episode? It holds truly few memorable quotes.

Entire scenes fall flat, their only apparent purpose being to move the plot forward. The entire Daria-meets-DeMartino/Kevin/Brittany scene could be cut out and I doubt that it would be missed. Trust me, we’ll get plenty of time to see these less-interesting characters as plot fixtures in other episodes.

Still, the episode has its moments. O’Neill’s final self-esteem test is a classic exchange that, when read at Outpost Daria, never fails to bring a smile. My favorite moment was when Daria turns Quinn’s “only child” quote against her at one of the family dinners — Daria knows just when to twist the knife.

But when all is said and done, “Esteemsters” is a big disappointment and one of the reasons I didn’t return to Daria until around the end of Season Three or the beginning of Season Four. It is a sub-par episode, a poor way to begin such a wonderful series.

If they could have only begun with “The Invitation,” the subject of my next essay.

Ten Years!

2007-03-03T00:52:00.000-08:00

Daria premiered, with the episode “Esteemsters,” on Music Television ten years ago today, 3 March 1997.

Please post your thoughts in the comments. Delighted? Bored? Delightfully refreshed? Would rather finish writing your fanfic instead? Underwhelmed, in the Darian way? Gonna haul out the tapes or discs?

(That last, for my brother and me. Also some 80-cent bottles of Ultra, er, store-brand diet cola and some frozen pizza. Just sitting back and laughing our heads off!)

Our best thoughts go to the Dariafen gathered this weekend, remarkably, on three continents: in the English Midlands, in Georgia (especially AhMyGoddess, newly ailing but apparently well cared for, and ’Raptor, long ailing and getting a visit), and in Australia (for Tafka’s and Lew’s wedding).

Four-Month Fanworks Update!

2007-02-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

Yes, we’re caught up, after much travail, at least with the recent past. Thanks again for your patience. Everything that seems to have been posted since 31 October is listed and linked below, by author or artist nickname. (Erotica is only listed.) Serial works are complete unless noted.

(For Glitter Berries, Kem did a large catch-up update herself before going on hiatus for several months, so I didn’t try to determine what had been created more recently.)

We don’t plan on doing this kind of catch-up again, so look for more frequent updates throughout the month. If you would find a monthly collected summary helpful, though, do let us know in the comments.

Fan Fiction Since Hallowe’en

2007-02-23T22:54:00.001-08:00

These fanfics have been posted or linked to since 31 October 2006 at an active fansite or message board. Fiction is complete unless noted.

Angelboy: Diary Entries (Chapter 4, continued), Embers (Part 16)

The Angst Guy: Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope, Scarlett

Anonymous: The End of a Friendship

Atimnie: And Now, for No Apparent Reason (poem)

TheBadWolfDoctor: Culture Shock

Bgryphon: Death Rowe (Part 3)

BlackWolfhound: Much Ado About Laughing

BluePhoenix36: The Closet Body

Brother Grimace: Crusts of Pizza, The One Day We Forget, A Path of Roses and Thorns (Part 2)

CDM: Demon Princess Quinn 1: Quinn Anwnn (Chapter 6)

DariaPhantom: Danny Phantom and the Irony Maiden

DJW: Aw Nuts (Part 1), Open Windows 3: The Long Road to Camp Grizzly, Open Windows 4: Stuff Happens (Part 4)

DJW and RLobinske: A Little Help from Your Fiends

TheDramaticMonarch: Bedroom

E.A. Smith: Good Intentions (Part 4)

Eccles: A Daria - Pratchett Crossover (Chapter 1)

Echopapa: A Cynical Shade of Green (Part 8)

Edgardo Cruz: Daria’s Magical Interdimensional Bus

Emeraldstoker: Flu (partial)

Greystar: Daria 3059 (completed with epilogue)

James the Lesser: College Pains

Lawndale Stalker: The House On Space-Time Lane (partial), Naked Came the Cynic (partial)

Little Buddie: Reasons That I Hate School

Minkychanz: Smile, Trent’s Girl

Psychotol: Daria's Braincut, Hopeful New Start, Living Dead Girls 6 (Part 3), Reunion

Ranger Thorne: Daria's Web (Chapter 7), First Video from We3, Shadow of a Cynic (Chapter 6)

The Ranting Klown: Just Us Two and the Devil Makes Three (partial), North and South, The Rest of My Damn Life: Close and Apart, The Rest of My Damn Life: Confronting the New

Ray: Tyrannical Coronations

RedlegRick: Home Wreck

Reese Kaine: Daria GTS (poem)

RLobinske: Eternity (Part 5), Falling Into College 51: Mirrors, Falling Into College 52: Girl: Lost and Found, Falling Into College 53: Daria Went Down to Georgia, John Lane 21: Apocalypse Dance, John Lane 22: Valuable Experiences, John Lane 23: Cupid in a Nutshell, John Lane 24: Heart Flush, The New View, Tripping the Art Sarcastic (script)

Robin Sena: Sheep Go to Heaven, Goats Go to Hell, Why You Should Never Hire Brittany Taylor

Roentgen: Canon Fodder, John Wayne’s Horse, Legion of Lawndale Heroes (Chapter 8.4), Legion of Lawndale Heroes (technical thread), A Lie

Sailor Ranger: Embers (Chapter 16)

Scissors MacGillicutty: Daria in “Phlegm Noir” (at Commercial Break), Good Mornings with Daria and Jane: A Ficlet

Shane Greentree (GregorSamsa): Duck Day Afternoon, I Don’t (Like Landlubbers), Mother and Daughter, Nestor, Rime of the Auntcent Mariner, Selling Sarcasm

Shanejayell: There and Back Again

Sleepless: Broken Connections (Part 20)

TippedOver: Redneck Christmas

Vlademir1: Their Bond

Fan Art Since Hallowe’en

2007-02-23T22:54:00.000-08:00

These artworks have been posted or linked to since 31 October 2006 at an active fansite or message board.

Christ Oliver: Daria - Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World, Daria - Road Worrier

D-motors: Quinn, Stacy

Dreamweaver: Daria as an Angel, Daria’s Dream Day, Friendship, Helen Just for Fun, Jane of Arc, A Nightmare in Lawndale, Off to See the Wizard, Quinn, Quinn: Space Ranger, Stacy, Trent, What if Jane Joined the Fashion Club?

Eccles: Daria - Keeler

TheEvilTwin: Sick Sad World, We Are the Men

HelpfulSkittlesExplosion: He’ll Come

Ioxmo: Jane Gets Another Car, Qane, Stane

JennaUsername: A Clip from “The Christmas Clip Show!”, Come Lie Next to Me, Daria and Co. in 2007, Daria and Jane: Cyber Goth Style, Daria: Barefoot and Pregnant, Daria Morgendogfur, Daria vs. the Lawndale Zombies (filmed-fanfic poster), The Fashion Club Paint It Black, Jane Lane as Amanda Palmer, Last Night in Lawndale (filmed-fanfic poster), Not Another Love Triangle, Trent Lane, Emo Rocker

KemicalReaxion: Brittany Taylor, Homeless Helen, Lane Wonka and the Rock Factory

Lachlansk: Daria Animated Avatar

MDetector5: Baywatch Quinn, Better Watch Your Back, Good for Them, Good for Us, Jane, Ming Dress Quinn, Pop My Top, Red-Headed Titan, Seifuku In Triplicate, Sexy Busty Daria

Minkychanz: The Fashion Club = Heathers

NapalmKracken: Quinn Cameo

NapalmKracken (coordinator) with other artists: Daria 1997 - 2007

Ranchoth: Daria in the Cockpit

Ranger Thorne: Mike Hunter, Our Heroine as an Actual Hero, What if I Were Her Father?

RedlegRick: Daria and Jane, Daria - Lisa, Jane Painting, Ms. Morgendorffer Goes to Washington, TAG’s Jane Collage, Trent-Jesse-Upchuck-DeMartino Charcoal, Young Ones

RLobinske: Daria Von Doom

Robin Sena: A Valentine Surprise, Homeless Helen

Sam the Smuggler: Stacy

S.C.: 3D Daria Physical Model (wallpaper), Urban Daria, Valentines

Shallow 15: Shego as Daria

Various artists (adaptations): Demotivators

Vlademir1: Cheap Colorations Redux (several images), Remember, Remember

Wouter: Daria as a Flying Ace, Daria in Pencil

Zackmolis: Quinn Maid

Erotica Since Hallowe’en

2007-02-23T22:48:00.000-08:00

All of these fanworks have been posted or linked to since 31 October 2006 in the members-only hidden section of SFMB. Fiction is complete unless noted.

Angelboy: Repression and Repercussions (Chapter 11)

The Angst Guy: Terrible Tales of Tiffany

Atimnie: Did I Mention ...?

Dervish: Summer of 69

The Great Saiyaman (Wouter): Big Sister’s Christmas Carol (comic)

MDetector5: Dirty Devil (art)

Minkychanz: Andrea/Tiffany, Playful Helen, Trent Who?,
Tom and Trent (all art)

M Man: Something to Hide

Mr Orange: Nue Experience (Part 3)

NomadX: Nipple Ring

Psychotol: It All Worked Out Eventually

Reese Kaine: Daria’s Reaction to an AHP (art)

Sleepless: Walking the Dog (Part 7)

SFMB Postscript

2007-02-22T13:01:00.000-08:00

I’ve been informed that Thea Zara has now turned over management of the SFMB to Deref. I hadn’t known that, I’m glad she did so, and I’m glad he’s in charge. If any of my comments yesterday came across as having criticized Deref’s not keeping up with maintenance, they were not meant that way, especially with my knowing that he’s been short on time — and I apologize.

Nobody would be more pleased than I to see SFMB regaining fanworks and discussion ferment, and it’s far better to have two major forums with different ideas as to how they are moderated.

I don’t see it as proper, though, to ignore or gloss over how it’s getting left out of the creative and discussion loops. That’s more a matter of reporting than it is of criticism, really. Fan venues come and go, and we all know that.

And, lastly, SFMB’s Flame Wars. I’ve never been shy about saying how I see that forum, and I won’t be now. I still see it as being entirely destructive, and a long-standing danger to good relations among fans. It’s nearly driven several people away, including me. (Don’t all of you say “if only it had” at once, please {rueful smile})

I’ve long believed that any community which puts up with such a place for hurling personal abuse is only injuring itself. I’ve long said to Thea, Deref, and others privately what I’ll say here: If keeping the dwindling newcomers, and long-timers, in this fan community is important, that flame forum ought to finally be removed.

Slow Cookery ...

2007-02-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

... is more savory. We hope. Anyway, crock-pot thick-stock chicken soup is good for colds like mine. Thanks for your patience.

Here, have a Valentine from fan-artist S.C. ... what?! you've never had the florist deliver ’em late before? {g}

I’m trying to get links to about three months of the most recent fanworks corralled by creator. From PPMB and active fansites, as well as from FF.net.

Speaking of which, our left sidebar is updated and slightly rearranged.

~ “Active Fansites” have had updates in the last three months. (Or so. We know it takes time, look at us {g}) “Dormant Fansites” are definitely Out There, but have snoozed for a while. If your site has reawakened, tell us when and how in the Blog comments.

~ Links to fan awards have been updated. A link to the Wikipedia Daria entry has been added. (This has many links, in turn, to entries for other series characters and elements.) And the DFB archives links have been moved down.

Dead, Doornail, Dying Dead

2007-02-21T06:13:00.000-08:00

(... alluding to the late, great Gene Saks in “A Thousand Clowns.”)

Has anyone used the Usenet newsgroup alt.tv.daria for genuine discussion in the last nine months? It’s filled solely with porn-site and bootleg-disc spam these days. We may remove the link, to avoid misdirecting fandom newcomers ... assuming we keep gettin’ ’em {sigh}

And let’s be honest, shall we? The Sh33p’s Fluff Message Board is effectively dead. (For anything but Dariarotica, and not much of that.) No real discussions are taking place. Out of the latest 200 “members,” I counted only one account that wasn’t a porn-site spammer. Flame Wars has become worthless-er ... yeah, Trent, it’s still in the “worthless” set ... as it turns into a spam sponge.

The only ongoing non-PPMB-posted, non-erotic fanwork I can find is “Legion of Lawndale Heroes,” and Roentgen is slowly getting that tale re-posted at FF.net.

It’s disheartening to see these venues losing focus and activity, but it’s been five years since Daria ended with “Is It College Yet?”, and broad net.nets will inevitably catch fewer new fans.

Viacom Bursts the Inner (You)Tube

2007-02-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

So, one of the last portals anywhere for garnering new Daria fans is shut down. The show is no longer on line at YouTube. All of the fan-contributed seven-minute portions of episodes have been removed, both in English and in French. (Including the thousands of user comments. Fortunately, Cinc saved a few of them for your pleasure.)

Several fan creations from S.C., Eccles, a “release the DVDs” partisan, and others have also been removed. (Martin Pollard has said he’ll host multiple versions of such videos at Outpost Daria.)

Viacom couldn’t come to an agreement to share revenue with YouTube, as it had with the video division of parent Google. (Some Daria episodes, in single pieces, are still available at Google Video.)

It was inevitable, amigos. YouTube is too visible, and is too widely decried for building a content base upon copyright infringement, to have had the party last forever.

(I do get perplexed about all this talk of “copyright” by the legal suits, though, when a piece such as S.C.’s voice-enriched video is at issue. What’s being infringed, if anything, in all such fanworks are trademarks, not copyrights. “A Little Knowledge” used an original script, and took the character and setting names and designs from Daria. ... Ah, but I digress.)

What seems even more evident these days is that Viacom and MTV have pushed Daria further to the back DVD burner. Yes, the music clearances are a royal pain. Freaks and Geeks managed a full release, though, all songs intact, partly by the rights holder outsourcing the clearance grunt work.

And now, with consumer broadband creating new and viable distribution channels, they’re being remarkably unimaginative in what they put forward. Take a look, if you want to bother, at the new Viacom initiative for offering video downloads through Wal-Mart.

A more detailed report notes how constricted this will be:

[...] all downloads will be WMV [Windows Media Player files] with Windows Media DRM [“digital rights management,” copy-restriction techniques]. You can burn them for backup, but they’ll only work on a single PC, with an option to be moved to “three compatible portable devices.”

Only marginally more usable, and backup-capable, than Apple’s iTunes, in other words. Steve Jobs has already ably punched holes in the case for DRM restrictions on music. When will someone make the connection for video, as well?

This copy-restriction merde is really only to cover their legal backsides, in the long run. Every DRM scheme is or will be broken. DVDs, for a decade now. The high-definition HD-DVD and Blu-Ray Disc schemes, as of last month. Content will find its way to users, sooner or later.

Where the DRM gatekeeping comes in is to give some legal cover for the studios to prosecute and sue large-scale infringers, or large and inviting targets such as YouTube. They make an effort to erect digital gates. Breaking them becomes a federal felony, under the DMCA. This can be used to selectively smash anyone they choose.

Anyway, the Wal-Mart scheme is full of computer-clogging DRM, whether or not you have the new Hungry-Man portion of it dished out by Windows Vista.

It’s also not aimed at the geeks — face it, for many of us, that’s what we are — who have taken up Daria and other iconoclastic TV pleasures. You can only use the security nightmare of Internet Explorer to make downloads, not Firefox, Mozilla, Opera, Safari, or anything reasonably sane.

Here’s the relevant bit of puffery at Wal-Mart’s site for this still-in-beta-test service:

MTV needs no introduction. As the epicenter for anything and everything music and pop culture, MTV has produced more groundbreaking programming — like Beavis & Butthead [sic] and Jackass — than any other cable network.

In your dreams, guys. Not for over a decade has this even come close to possibly being true.

And their “groundbreaking” selection for download? Andy Milonakis, Beavis & Butthead: The Mike Judge Collection, Jackass, Laguna Beach, My Super Sweet Sixteen, Punk’d, and Two-A-Days.

You know what’s missing here. Someone at Viacom has to know what's missing — they pulled it off of YouTube, after all. Who among them is going to do something about it? Is anybody there? Does anybody care? I'm about ready to give up.

(Find out ten more good reasons for why these downloads bite the big one.)

2006 Daria Fanworks Awards Winners

2007-02-14T03:33:00.000-08:00

Visual Works (Full list of nominees with links)

Favorite Overall
A Little Knowledge* [medium] [large] by S.C.

Favorite Original
A Little Knowledge* [medium] [large] by S.C.

Favorite Comedy
Burger World by S.C.

Favorite Alter Ego/Crossover
Goth Chicks by S.C.

Favorite Single or Multi-Panel Comic
DVDaria Campaign by Kemical Reaxion

Favorite Erotic
Party at Lindy’s by Wouter

Favorite Visual Inspired by the TV Series or Official Books
On the Set of “Good Mornings with Daria and Jane” by S.C.

Favorite Visual Inspired by a Fan Written Work
Daria and Quinn Fighting by SRA

Favorite Image Manipulation
Asylum by vlademir1

Favorite Digital (completely computer generated)
3D Daria by S.C.
Daria’s Dungeon by S.C.

Favorite Traditional (pencil, ink, paint,
no computer manipulation)
Sleeping Daria by Beatnik Shaggy

Favorite Mixed Media (multiple artistic media used,
includes computer-manipulated traditional)
Dominion by SRA

Favorite New Artist
S.C.

* The low-resolution YouTube version was removed at Viacom’s instigation, with their claiming copyright infringement. (Details and discussion here.)

Written Works (Full list of nominees with links)

Favorite Overall
Card Games by Kristen Bealer

Favorite Comedy
The Dammitall Run! by DJW
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM

Favorite Drama
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Dramatic Comedy
Card Games by Kristen Bealer

Favorite Melodrama
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Romance – Straight
Trent’s Girl by Minkychan

Favorite Romance – Gay/Lesbian
Writes of Passage — Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref

Favorite School-Centered (Lawndale High)
Goodnight, Morgendorffer by Angelinhel

Favorite Jane Story
Writes of Passage — Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref

Favorite Helen Story
Falling Into College #50: A Matter of Priorities by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Jake Story
Breakfast with Dad by Lawndale Stalker

Favorite Quinn Story
Falling Into College #43: Four Friends, Four Winds
by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Use of a Background Character from the TV Series
Misery’s End by Richard Lobinske - for Amy Barksdale
Trent’s Girl by Minkychan – for Monique

Favorite Pre-“Esteemsters”
Card Games by Kristen Bealer

Favorite Post-“Is It College Yet?”
Crusts of Pizza by Brother Grimace

Favorite Character Development/Redevelopment/Growth
The Longest Year #8: The Facts of Life
by Greystar - for Daria, Jane, and Tom

Favorite Alternate History
Misery’s End by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Crossover
The Dammitall Run! by DJW

Favorite Movie Parody
The Dammitall Run! by DJW

Favorite Science Fiction
The Pact by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Supernatural or Fantasy Horror
Pristine by The Angst Guy

Favorite Supernatural or Fantasy Non-Horror
Uranium in the Drinking Water by The Angst Guy

Favorite Weird Idea
Anything for Jane by The Angst Guy

Favorite Ongoing Series
Et Jane? by Yerno (French)
Falling Into College by Richard Lobinske

Favorite New Series
Open Windows by DJW

Favorite New Author
Hey

Drinking Some Aspartame

2007-02-06T12:22:00.000-08:00

Looking at my Sprite Zero. Yep, aspartame. Tastes pretty good to me. Your personal experience, though, might vary from mine.

This is why I try to avoid posting in PPMB’s “Nick’s Corner.” (Although I’ve posted there more than once or twice in my alternate identity — but never as a regular.) Topics like politics, and “Flame Wars” over at the SFMB, are just buzzsaws waiting to happen, to chew up and spit out the unwitting Daria fan. Didn’t Robert Nowall leave over some foolishness at “Nick’s Corner”?

Can’t post more about it, because I never read the thread in question until after the fact. But boy, I wish I were there for the blowup! What I love more than just about anything is good old-fashioned gossip, and seeing the meltdown in progress would have been compelling.

In general, things that should not be talked about without knowing what you’re getting into: politics, religion, and class/money. That’s just one of those general lessons of life that applies across all message boards.

Oh yeah, and where’s my update post? At the bottom of a “to do” list that has included phone interviews, cleaning the house for a party on Wednesday, and a nasty back muscle strain that has left me virtually immobilized. Selah.

Also: new policy at PPMB. The next time you scream “I’m leaving!” expect to find the door locked when you get back. I don’t know what this policy actually serves, but it’s their board and we just live there. Me, I want to know what happened to Thea Zara and who is going to fix SFMB.

Invariably Late

2007-01-31T17:51:00.000-08:00

... well, better late than never, as they say. (I disagree — in some cases, it should be “better never.”)

Hopefully, we’ll get a real blog update tomorrow. It’s been a very busy week for me. Plumbers. Dentistry. A job interview tomorrow. All kinds of good and not so good things.

In the meantime, go over to the PPMB and vote for the 2006 Booties — Visual and Written Works. There is still time. I managed to slide my ballot in under the doors of Richard Lobinske and Mr. Orange in the nick of time, just before I got audited.

Everything Old Is ...

2007-01-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

... new again? If this works, I’m back on the masthead of the DFB to help out, after a year away.

Just in time to not vote for any of the fan awards {rueful smile}

“Daria”: An Infinite Engine of Stories?

2007-01-24T12:42:00.000-08:00

Recently, a friend of mine pointed me to a website called “Comics Should Be Good.” I was a comic book fan back in an earlier incarnation, and despite the fact that I’ve not bought any new comics in about 10 years, I can still spit out comic book trivia with the best of them.

In a recent article linked from the site, John Seavey introduced the concept of a “storytelling engine.” I’ll try to break down the idea as best as I can.

In short, the best comics (and, by extension, the best stories) have components which are so strong that they become “storytelling engines”: the concept of the comic/TV show/book series/movie franchise/fanfiction is so strong, that it acts as a perpetual motion machine. One can derive a theoretically infinite set of stories from the premises alone.

As an illustration, Seavey points to two of the longest running comics — Superman and Batman. (Insert Marvel titles if you feel slighted.) Each of these ideas can be encapsulated by a “status quo” — a one-sentence summing up of the character, so simple that a new reader can say “I get it!” For Superman, the “status quo” would be “last survivor of an alien planet fights crime with his amazing powers.” For Batman, it would be “obsessed avenger devotes his mind and body to eradicating all forms of evil.”

From the “status quo,” you basically say everything that’s important about the character. If someone living on a desert island had never seen Superman before, but you were about to give them a comic or show them Superman: The Movie, the status quo adequately prepares them for what they are about to see. If you understand the status quo, you understand the character.

From that point, you further illustrate the premise by giving the character’s motivations and backstory. This helps one better understand the behavior of the character beyond the initial premise.

The next step is to add the supporting cast. Who does the character know? Who knows the character? What people have the most interaction with the characters?

Next, you need the setting: the immediate world which influences the character, the environment, the surroundings. If Superman were using his powers in a post-apocalyptic world, it would be a major change from Metropolis and the Daily Planet.

Following that, one mentions the antagonists: the characters whose wants and desires are opposed to the wants and the desires of the character.

And last but not least: the tone of the stories. In what style will these tales be told? The style of the Batman TV series was “campy humor”; the style of the O’Neill/Aparo Batman of the 1970s was “gritty urban detective story.” The exact same character, background, and antagonists, but two completely different spins.

For an example, let’s examine our heroine. Suppose I wished to explain Daria to someone who had never seen it before, but I had a limited amount of time. This is what I would write:

Name of show: Daria

Status quo: “Cynical and sarcastic girl exposes the hypocrisies, major and minor, of the world about her.”

Main character: (motivations and backstory)
“High school girl.”
“Intellectual.”
“Unpopular.”
“Doesn’t follow fashion, good looking but plain in appearance.”
“Loner, keeps to herself.”
“Forms friendships rarely.”
“Suspicious of authority.”
“Not ‘into’ boys, but not gay.”

Supporting cast:
Jane, her artistic and quirky friend.
Quinn, her fashion-obsessed sister.
Helen, her workaholic mother.
Jake, her clueless father.
Ms. Li, the order-obsessed principal of Lawndale High.
Other characters embodying stereotypical teachers and students.

Setting:
Lawndale High School.
Well off, mostly white suburbia.

Antagonists:
Ms. Li
Quinn
Helen

Tone:
Sarcastic humor with occasional farcical humor and melodrama.

I make this claim: If you know the above information, you know everything important there is to know about Daria. No Daria episode should ever surprise you if you haven’t seen it, providing you know the above.

Furthermore, change the above, and you change Daria into something entirely different. You’re not going to see Daria run for class president, unless it’s to pull off some cynical scam. Daria is never going to worry about who her date to the prom will be. And if Daria is given a gift horse, she’s going to look down its throat with a laryngoscope.

So what was the point of this pedantic exercise? Just the following: Some shows/concepts make great storytelling engines, and others don’t. The flaws in a premise can be examined by looking at each individual element, and asking, “Do these elements help me tell stories, or keep me from telling stories?”

Seavey’s point was that the reason Superman and Batman have lasted for so long is that the premises and backgrounds and characters provide for a virtually infinite amount of stories to tell. No matter how pressed Mort Weisinger might have been in coming up with a story for Superman, he could always follow Ayn Rand’s advice and “check [his] premises” — there would be something in the premise, background, or tone that would cause a story to coalesce out of the ether and help Weisinger meet his deadline.

Let’s do an exercise with Daria. Which elements help tell stories and which elements hinder the telling of stories?

The premise is strong. It’s almost as if the character is Groucho Marx in the form of a 1990s high school girl. The stories of authority vs. cynicism are almost limitless.

High school girl? Okay, a bit limiting in stories, but there’s a wealth of stories that can be told with an underaged protagonist.

“Intellectual” helps. The main character can be involved in very complex situations. “Suspicious of authority”? Provides some conflict, maybe some melodrama.

The supporting cast looks good. Characters rich in variety, and much potential for conflicting wants and desires. And if you’re a comedy writer, you should have no problem unless you don’t like sarcasm or sharp humor.

Indeed, most of the Season One and Season Two stories were “clash with authority” stories. Daria and her friend Jane would clash with authorities of various types: Quinn, the “popularity authority”; Ms. Li, the “school authority”; and Helen, the “parental authority.” Those authorities would try to put Daria in some kind of social straitjacket, but Daria’s sharp wit would help her even the odds and leave the schemes of the authorities in ruins.

However, some of these premises are a bit limiting. “Unpopular.” “Loner.” “Keeps to herself.” Those ideas are story-killers. This means that Daria doesn’t seek out conflict, but she also doesn’t seek the spotlight. Thus, some sort of contrivance has to be used to get Daria to be involved into a situation she’d naturally avoid.

This resulted in a set of “fish in barrel” episodes. Daria was less Groucho and more Bugs Bunny — wanting to be left alone to read, but Yosemite Sam/Quinn/Helen/Mr. O’Neill comes along and forces her into an unhappy situation. “You know, this means war,” mutters Daria, and after Daria works her sarcastic magic everything is in ruins.

The problem for the show, however, is that Bugs Bunny isn’t supposed to be believable, and cartoons can just “reset” reality for the next episode. With Daria, this ended up with a set of wonderful, very funny episodes, but by the start of the third season, monotony had set in.

The series couldn’t survive unless some of the premises were challenged, particularly the part about being a “loner” who is “unpopular with boys.” Eichler and company decided, therefore, to give Daria a boyfriend — Jane’s boyfriend, Tom. This set up one of the best kinds of conflict — noble character vs. noble character — but at the end of it, Daria and Tom were now paired up.

The Season One and Season Two gold mine had been tapped out. With Season Five, Daria became a relationship comedy to some small degree, and Season Five might have been the least satisfying of seasons. A Daria unsure of herself and unsure of what she wanted in a relationship was in direct opposition to the Status Quo of the character: a cynic who knew, at least, the price of everything, if not the value. And face it: high school romances are worth about 25 cents in cynical currency.

For Daria to dither and dather about her relationship with Tom was very un-Daria-like, and the series never resolved the contradiction between its former Status Quo and the new motivations of its main character. No wonder she ended up in a cardboard box on the front lawn, staring out at the world. When she got rid of Tom, there was a sigh of relief among some fans, if only that the contradiction had been resolved.

Unfortunately, there were no new ideas: Daria was, in essence, out of stories and ended at just the right time. I suspect a Season Six would have been a disaster.

Now a thought exercise for fan-fiction writers. Suppose you had been asked to write a series with the Status Quo and premises above. You can flesh out the rest of the Daria universe any way you like. My question is, how many stories can you get with the premises above? Infinitely many? Or just 24 good ones? (Remember, you’re not allowed to change or alter the premises.)

2006 Daria Fanworks Awards — Visual Works

2007-01-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

The nominees are:

Favorite Overall
A Little Knowledge by S.C.
Back to Back by Christ Oliver
Dominion by SRA
Glamour Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
Le gâteau Daria by Daria81
Sleeping Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
On the Set of “Good Mornings with Daria and Jane” by S.C.
Portrait of Daria by S.C.
Smile Daria by Christ Oliver
WTA Quinn by Quiverwing

Favorite Original
A Little Knowledge by S.C.
Burger World by S.C.
Daria by 2dlover
Daria + Jane by PeteM
Dominion by SRA
Fantanas by Kemical Reaxion
Glamour Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
Goth Chicks by S.C.
Sleeping Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
WTA Quinn by Quiverwing

Favorite Comedy
A Little Knowledge by S.C.
Burger World by S.C.
Daria as Bucky Cat by Kemical Reaxion
Daria Superman by Christ Oliver
dPod generation : Tiffany by S.C.
Fantanas by Kemical Reaxion
Sandi with an I by Kemical Reaxion
Strange Bedfellows by S.C.
Quinn’s Mug Shot by S.C.
The Real Reason Daria Botched Jane’s Dye-Job by Kemical Reaxion

Favorite Alter Ego/Crossover
Daria as Bucky Cat by Kemical Reaxion
Daria Superman by Christ Oliver
Dominion by SRA
Fantanas by Kemical Reaxion
Goth Chicks by S.C.
Hoochie Quinn by S.C.
Paris by Kemical Reaxion
Quinn as a Pin-Up by S.C.
WTA Quinn by Quiverwing
WTA Quinn Serving by Quiverwing

Favorite Single or Multi-Panel Comic
Daria @ Raft: The Not-So-Great Escape by S.C.
Daria as Bucky Cat by Kemical Reaxion
DVDaria Campaign by Kemical Reaxion
Flirty D by MDetector5
Growing Pains by Wouter
Quinn’s Valentine by MDetector5
Party at Lindy’s by Wouter
Sandi with an I by Kemical Reaxion
The Real Reason Daria Botched Jane’s Dye-Job by Kemical Reaxion

Favorite Erotic
Growing Pains by Wouter
Party at Lindy’s by Wouter
Suprised II by Christ Oliver

Favorite Visual Inspired by the TV Series or Official Books
Daria’s Dungeon by S.C.
Daria in a Bridesmaid Dress by Richard Lobinske
Good Mornings with Daria and Jane by Christ Oliver
He’s Mine by S.C.
Jane’s Yearbook Picture by Kemical Reaxion
On the Set of “Good Mornings with Daria and Jane” by S.C.
Portrait of Daria by S.C.
Sleeping Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
The Real Reason Daria Botched Jane’s Dye-Job by Kemical Reaxion
WTA Quinn by Quiverwing

Favorite Visual Inspired by a Fan Written Work
Daria and Quinn Fighting by SRA
Daria in a Bridesmaid Dress by Richard Lobinske
Daria Ready for the Theater by Richard Lobinske
Jane’s New Car by S.C.
Kadhimiya by HelpfulSkittlesExplosion

Favorite Holiday Visual
No nominations. Category removed.

Favorite Image Manipulation
Asylum by vlademir1
Daria’s Inferno for GBA by Christ Oliver
Daria’s Wall, alt version by HelpfulSkittlesExplosion
Mock Atari Box Game by Chris Smith
Mock Super Nintendo Game Box by Chris Smith
President Li by vlademir1

Favorite Digital (completely computer generated)
3D Brittany by S.C.
3D Daria by S.C.
Daria’s Dungeon by S.C.
My Dream Dariacon by S.C.

Favorite Traditional (pencil, ink, paint,
no computer manipulation)
Glamour Jane by Beatnik Shaggy
Glamour Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
Jane’s Yearbook Picture by Kemical Reaxion
It’s Not Easy Being Queen by Kemical Reaxion
Sleeping Daria by Beatnik Shaggy
The Real Reason Daria Botched Jane’s Dye-Job by Kemical Reaxion
WTA Quinn by Quiverwing
WTA Quinn Serving by Quiverwing

Favorite Mixed Media (multiple artistic media used,
includes computer-manipulated traditional)
3D Brittany by S.C.
3D Daria by S.C.
A Little Knowledge by S.C.
Daria + Jane by PeteM
Daria’s Dungeon by S.C.
Dominion by SRA
Fashion Faux Pas by Vladmir1
Kadhimiya by HelpfulSkittlesExplosion
On the Set of “Good Mornings with Daria and Jane” by S.C.
President Li by vlademir1

Favorite New Artist
S.C.
2dlover
Daria81
MDetector5

Note 1: Some of these works are adult-themed and you will have to sign in as a member of the Sheep’s Fluff Message Board to view them.

Note 2: One might ask, “Why did you bother formatting all of this into HTML when you could have just linked to the appropriate PPMB post?”

Why? ’Cause
a) I wanted people to be able to link without recourse to the PPMB, and
b) I’m a bit of a perfectionist (euphemism for “OCD”)

2006 Daria Fanworks Awards —Written Works

2007-01-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

This long post is to highlight the written-works nominees for the 2006 Daria Fanworks Awards. There will be more information about how to vote later. It’s taken a while to convert the list from messageboard code to HTML code, but, eh, what can you do?

The nominees are:

Favorite Overall
Card Games by Kristen Bealer
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope by The Angst Guy
Darkness by The Angst Guy
Falling Into College #50: A Matter of Priorities by Richard Lobinske
Goodnight, Morgendorffer by Angelinhel
The Life and Death of Stacy III by Kristen Bealer
The Longest Year #8: The Facts of Life by Greystar
Promise in Green by Richard Lobinske
Something to Shoot For, Part II by Dervish

Favorite Comedy
Breakfast with Dad by Lawndale Stalker
Card Games by Kristen Bealer
A Chunk of a Conversation by Brother Grimace
Citizen Jane by The Ranting Klown
The Dammitall Run! by DJW
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
The First Summer #7: Cruising by Richard Lobinske
I Meant to Do That by Richard Lobinske
The Life and Death of Stacy III by Kristen Bealer
The Original Underground Government-Suppressed Version of Brother Grimace’s Classic Daria Fanfic, “The Sun Will Come Out, Tomorrow” by The Angst Guy

Favorite Drama
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske
Darkness by The Angst Guy
Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope by The Angst Guy
Falling Into College #50: A Matter of Priorities by Richard Lobinske
Goodnight, Morgendorffer by Angelinhel
The Longest Year #8: The Facts of Life by Greystar
The Meaning of Life by Angelinhel
Promise in Green by Richard Lobinske
Something to Shoot For, Part II by Dervish
Something to Shoot For, Part III by Dervish

Favorite Dramatic Comedy
Card Games by Kristen Bealer
Falling Into College #47: Melody of Life by Richard Lobinske
A Little Help from Your Fiends by DJW and Richard Lobinske

Favorite Melodrama
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske
Call of Quinnthulhu by Dervish
Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope by The Angst Guy
Darkness by The Angst Guy
Inauguration by Nick Gaston
The Meaning of Life by Angelinhel
The Pact by Richard Lobinske
Something to Shoot For, Part II by Dervish
Something to Shoot For, Part III by Dervish

Favorite Romance – Straight
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #3: Succession Crisis by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #16: Left to the Heart by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #21: Apocalypse Dance by Richard Lobinske
The New View by Richard Lobinske
North and South by The Ranting Klown
A Path of Roses and Thorns, Part 1 by Brother Grimace
Promise in Green by Richard Lobinske
Trent’s Girl by Minkychan

Favorite Romance – Gay/Lesbian
Winner to be announced (only one multiple nominee)

Favorite School-Centered (Lawndale High)
Change the World by The Angst Guy
Citizen Jane by The Ranting Klown
Goodnight, Morgendorffer by Angelinhel
John Lane #14: Fairly Illuminated by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #15: Ring of Champions by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #21: Apocalypse Dance by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #22: Valuable Experiences by Richard Lobinske
Promise in Green by Richard Lobinske
Spelling It Out by Richard Lobinske
Something to Shoot For, Part II by Dervish

Favorite Jane Story
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske
Citizen Jane by The Ranting Klown
The Dammitall Run! by DJW
Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope by The Angst Guy
Falling Into College #41: Run Jane, Run by Richard Lobinske
Writes of Passage - Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref

Favorite Helen Story
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
Falling Into College #46: Family Collision by Richard Lobinske
Falling Into College #50: A Matter of Priorities by Richard Lobinske
The First Summer #7: Cruising by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #16: Left to the Heart by Richard Lobinske
Writes of Passage - Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref

Favorite Jake Story
Breakfast with Dad by Lawndale Stalker
The Dammitall Run! by DJW
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
The First Summer #7: Cruising by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #13: Movie Majik by Richard Lobinske
John Lane #16: Left to the Heart by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Quinn Story
Call of Quinnthulhu by Dervish
A Chunk of a Conversation by Brother Grimace
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #3: Succession Crisis by Richard Lobinske
Falling Into College #43: Four Friends, Four Winds by Richard Lobinske
Falling Into College #48: Dividing Spiral by Richard Lobinske
The New View by Richard Lobinske
Something to Shoot For, Part II by Dervish
Writes of Passage - Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref

Favorite Use of a Background Character from the TV Series
The Dammitall Run! by DJW – for Jennifer, Nathan
Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope by The Angst Guy – for the Ruttheimer cousins
Falling Into College #48: Dividing Spiral by Richard Lobinske – for Mystik Spiral
John Lane #19: Retouched Parents by Richard Lobinske -
for Vince, Amanda, and Summer Lane
A Little Help from Your Fiends by DJW and Richard Lobinske – for Alison
The Meaning of Life by Angelinhel - for Stacy
Misery’s End by Richard Lobinske - for Amy Barksdale
My Parade Adventure by Richard Lobinske - for Tad Gupty and family
A Path of Roses and Thorns, Part 1 by Brother Grimace - for Amy Barksdale
Trent’s Girl by Minkychan – for Monique

Favorite Pre-“Esteemsters”
Card Games by Kristen Bealer
A Crossover Too Far Back? by Lawndale Stalker

Favorite Post-“Is It College Yet?”
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske
Crusts of Pizza by Brother Grimace
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #3: Succession Crisis by Richard Lobinske
Falling Into College #43: Four Friends, Four Winds by Richard Lobinske
Falling Into College #47: Melody of Life by Richard Lobinske
Inauguration by Nick Gaston
A Little Help from Your Fiends by DJW and Richard Lobinske
No One Lives Forever by The Angst Guy
A Path of Roses and Thorns, Part 1 by Brother Grimace

Favorite Character Development/Redevelopment/Growth
Call of Quinnthulhu by Dervish – for Quinn
Card Games by Kristen Bealer – for Daria
Crusts of Pizza by Brother Grimace - for Kevin and Brittany
The Life and Death of Stacy III by Kristen Bealer - for Stacy
A Little Help from Your Fiends by DJW and Richard Lobinske – for Upchuck
The Longest Year #8: The Facts of Life by Greystar - for Daria, Jane, and Tom
The Meaning of Life by Angelinhel - for Stacy
Promise in Green by Richard Lobinske - for Daria and Tom
Trent’s Girl by Minkychan – for Daria
Writes of Passage - Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref - for Jane and Quinn

Favorite Alternate History
Accidental Future by Richard Lobinske
Daria 2007: The Girl from Hope by The Angst Guy
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Darkness by The Angst Guy
John Lane #19: Retouched Parents by Richard Lobinske
A Little Help from Your Fiends by DJW and Richard Lobinske
Misery’s End by Richard Lobinske
North and South by The Ranting Klown
Something to Shoot For, Part II by Dervish
Writes of Passage - Forest Primeval, Part 2 by Deref

Favorite Crossover
Call of Quinnthulhu by Dervish
A Crossover Too Far Back? by Lawndale Stalker
The Dammitall Run! by DJW
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #3: Succession Crisis by Richard Lobinske
Outcasts from Beyond by The Angst Guy
The Gem and the Sword by Ranger Thorne
The Life and Death of Stacy III by Kristen Bealer
The Pact by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Movie Parody
The Dammitall Run! by DJW
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
The Pact by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Science Fiction
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #3: Succession Crisis by Richard Lobinske
Darkness by The Angst Guy
The Gem and the Sword by Ranger Thorne
Inauguration by Nick Gaston
The Pact by Richard Lobinske

Favorite Supernatural or Fantasy Horror
Call of Quinnthulhu by Dervish
The Pact by Richard Lobinske
Pet Food by Brother Grimace
Pristine by The Angst Guy

Favorite Supernatural or Fantasy Non-Horror
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
Daria Von Doom #2: Daria R by Richard Lobinske
Daria Von Doom #3: Succession Crisis by Richard Lobinske
The Gem and the Sword by Ranger Thorne
Outcasts from Beyond by The Angst Guy
The Pact by Richard Lobinske
Uranium in the Drinking Water by The Angst Guy

Favorite Erotica – Straight
No nominations. Category removed.

Favorite Erotica – Gay/Lesbian
No nominations. Category removed.

Favorite Weird Idea
Anything for Jane by The Angst Guy
Call of Quinnthulhu by Dervish
Daria: The Mona Lisa Smile of Fate by CDM
Dear Stacy by Angelinhel
I Meant to Do That by Richard Lobinske
It Slipped Through My Hands, Like a Shadow, Like a Dream by The Angst Guy
Landon Massacre by Derek
A Little Help from Your Fiends by DJW and Richard Lobinske
The Meaning of Life by Angelinhel
Outcasts from Beyond by The Angst Guy

Favorite Ongoing Series (must have at least one new story during 2006)
Daria Von Doom by Richard Lobinske
Et Jane? by Yerno (French)
The DF Continuum - Return Engagement by Steven Galloway
Falling Into College by Richard Lobinske
The First Summer by Richard Lobinske
John Lane by Richard Lobinske
The Longest Year by Greystar
Writes of Passage by Deref

Favorite New Series
Celebrity Jeopardy: Daria Edition by Derek and guests
Open Windows by DJW
The Rest of My Damn Life by The Ranting Klown

Favorite Holiday Story
No nominations. Category removed.

Favorite Non-Fiction Essay
No nominations. Category removed.

Favorite New Author
CDM
Hey
Minkychan
The Ranting Klown
TippedOver

Random Comments

2007-01-13T21:47:00.000-08:00

Until I update (I’ve been procrastinating), I’ll just add these comments about Daria episodes that I grabbed off YouTube. Enjoy!

“Brittany’s voice isn’t as annoying in this episode. It seems so wrong.” (“Esteemsters”)

“Daria escaped from the Beavis and Butt-head universe after she killed them and disposed of their bodies.” (“Esteemsters”)

“Brittany’s a cool dumb blonde!” (“The Invitation”)

“‘Hi. I’m Daria. Go to hell.’ When Daria says that to me ... it makes me want to touch myself.” (“The Invitation”)

“‘I heard it from a girl!’ Lovely, I honestly laughed a good moment, or two, over it. I love homosexuality.” (“The Invitation”)

“Quinn’s clothes are really ugly, considering that she’s VP of the Fashion Club.”
“You have to consider when this was made. It was fashionable then.” (“The Invitation”)

“Daria is cool and like ‘unemo.’ I wish to be like her one day, but not as smart.” (“The Invitation”)

“Upchuck has fucking wit, man. Compliments Daria pretty well. Too bad she just isn’t interested.”
“Then you obviously do not understand Daria. We regret to inform you that your membership to the Daria Club has been cancelled. Turn in your key to security at the end of the day.” (“The Invitation”)

The Monday Morning Call

2007-01-08T09:52:00.000-08:00

Will work on getting the left-handed links updated.

There is still time to get your nominations in for the 2006 Daria Fanworks Awards (the “Booties”), in both the visual and written categories. You snooze, you lose.

At the PPMB:

• The Angst Guy completed “Scarlett” Chapter 14, “The Mark of the Beast”.
• RLobinske completed “John Lane” 24, “Heart Flush” Part 1.

An Alternate Message Board?

2007-01-06T13:59:00.000-08:00

The PPMB and SFMB are jumpy today. We’ll just have to wait and be patient.

Which leads me to a thought. Most of the alternate message boards on the PPMB Outages Website are pretty much either dead or unknown. However, since PPMB and SFMB are being handled by the same people, it means that when one board is down, both are down.

Maybe we need the Daria Back-Up Message Board, for messages and the like when both boards go down.

Also: When are those Bootie nominations coming out?

The Boilerplate Answer

2007-01-05T16:35:00.000-08:00

I received a letter on Tuesday. I don't know if it was to me personally, or regarding the blog, but here goes:

Hello —

I'm a big time fan. Have been for a long time. Like everyone else who probably writes you, I am looking to somehow get copies of this stuff on video. I was wondering if you had a resource?

I’m looking for the following (believe it or not, I haven’t seen these particular episodes): #s 109-111, 204, 302, 305, 307-308, 310, 312, 404, 405

I will pay whatever it costs as I think we will be waiting a LOOOONG time for MTV to finally get its act together.

Thanks. I hope to hear from you.

My answer:

I’m glad you’re interested in Daria. My answer will be somewhat laborious, but it will eventually get to the point.

If you haven’t seen certain episodes of Daria, your best bet is YouTube. It has a lot of ... uh ... copyrighted material available, and generally, if you put in a combination of the show and the episode name and number in the search function, you can find pretty much every episode you want.

(How do you think I got those neat framegrabs? Thank “The Gimp,” a freeware program ...)

Now, here’s the hard part. I don’t think the blog has ever had a policy on how to obtain Daria on VHS/DVD/palimpsest. Myself, if I knew of a free way for you to download episodes off the computer, I’d tell you, but everyone would probably know about it anyway, so you wouldn’t need to ask me.

The problem is the copyrights. I can understand your honorable offer to pay for the episodes. The problem is that if any fan were to accept payment beyond the cost of mailing the episodes, this would turn fans into illegal distributors of copyrighted material.

Now as for me, MTV/Viacom can burn to the ground and people can loot its content to their heart’s content. The problem is that in the past, MTV tried to “fox” the biggest fansite at the time, Outpost Daria. By “foxing,” I mean they mailed, if I recall correctly, some legal boilerplate to the site owner telling him that their lawyers said it was a very, very good idea to take down the copyrighted material.

Later, the miscommunication was resolved — it was just some legal beagle jumping the gun — but the older fans keep a wary eye over their shoulders. (Or, as they say in the drug culture, “How do I know you’re not ‘the Man’?”)

Since then, the policy has been, “We don’t bother MTV/Viacom, and, hopefully, they don’t bother us.” For my own personal, devious, evil reasons I’d like to see Outpost Daria live a long, healthy life, and I don’t want to get into the business of providing episodes.

The best hope is to:

a) Let your request be known here at the blog. Maybe one of our readers will have mercy on you and hook you up with a source of eps.

b) Go to one of the major message boards (see the links on the left-hand side of the blog) and ask, politely, if anyone can help.

c) Go to DVDaria and sign those petitions.

Sorry I couldn’t be of help. If someone in the comments section is willing to help, I’ll make the French Connection. — CG

“Grad’s Cruel”

2007-01-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

... well, that little entry into grad school was fun. As fun as having hot sealing wax poured into my urethra.

So, we will close that little chapter of my life, effective immediately. The blog might possibly probably definitely maybe be back on line. Expect a real, honest-to-goodness update at some date in the future. And expect more frequent updates as well.

So ...

2007-01-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

... when are we going to see the list of nominations for the 2006 Booties, written and visual awards?

I’ll post them to the Blog as soon as they come in. Honest Native American.

Art Burn

2006-12-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas. The most merry part, of course, being the end of it.

Your Christmas assignment: I intend to start work again on the Daria Encyclopedia after about a year's absense. However, I am stuck at Episode 507, "Art Burn". I would like to identify some of the famous works being copied in the episode, but my art knowledge is inadequate to the task.

Therefore, I am going to post screen captures from "Art Burn". If anyone can identify any of the works being copied/parodied, please let me know.

Please provide both artist and title of work if you know them. For example, the chair in the last screengrab is a Van Gogh -- Steve Taylor says as much -- but which work is it?

A Fannish Reminiscence

2006-11-21T09:10:00.000-08:00

From the following link located right here.

"Daria" is not forgotten. Not yet.

Your Monthly November Post

2006-11-12T15:55:00.000-08:00

Here it is. To make everyone feel better, I'll review "Trent's Girl" by Minkychan over at fanfiction.net. This might be the same "Minkychan" from DeviantArt.com and possibly could be the person posting as "JennaUserName".

So is it my task to afflict the comfortable? Or comfort the afflicted? Should I give this story from a fanfiction.net amateur a good old-fashioned, CINCGREEN thrashing?

Answer: no. The story does not deserve a thrashing. What saves it from being a pedestrian relationshipper is that the story is told from the POV of Monique, Trent Lane's on-again, off-again girlfriend who, in the first three seasons of "Daria", serves as one of the barriers to Daria and Trent getting together, just one barrier among many.

It's always interesting, if only for a little while, to see how a writer approaches a Class C character like Monique -- one of those characters who makes infrequent apparances and about whom you don't know much. In the beginning of her long career as Daria fanfic fodder, she was (informally) known as "Evil Monique", because it was so tempting to give the bare outline of Monique some flesh by making her the evil impediment to Daria AND TRENT HOOKING UP 4 EVAH!!! (Sorry. As Wavy Gravy said at Woodstock, "Don't read from the brown fanfic.")

It has only been recently than anyone tried to give Monique some real motivation. The Angst Guy wrote some background for Miss M. in "Smoking Mirror", and I felt he good job, so good that it might have precluded any new approaches. (Did I get that title right? So much fanfic, so little conscious memory of any of it.)

Minkychan adds a new twist. When given a character like Monique, we're not left with much to work with. In those cases, we use the vocal cues of the voice actor and try to build a personality out of five seconds of vocal straw. Most of the portrayals of Monique have been of this strong, confident teen. (She sings! She writes music! She looks punk and has a piercing! And she likes Trent, so she obviously has good taste. So sayeth the relationshipper.)

Instead, for whatever reasons, Minkychan writes Monique as a character who dreams that someday, she can be Mrs. Monique Lane. She is actually very content with having Trent as a boyfriend, who no matter what, has always come back to her. In this brief snippet, Monique dreams of the future.

When we're famous, we won't have to worry about gossip magazines pairing us up with random artists we work with.

"The Lanes are deeply in love," the tabloids will say, "Hollywood has never seen such a loving, faithful couple in show business before!"

It makes Monique sound more like a young woman with young woman dreams than some sort of perfect, poised rock musician, which was a rather charming read for a change.

However, Monique might not keep her peace of mind for long. To find out more, go read it. Trust me, type fanfiction.net and you'll find it there somewhere.

As for critique, one thing Minkychan needs to know how to do is to write a real paragraph. Remember, a paragraph is a set of statements loosely bound together by a common theme, like cats trapped in a lasso. Instead of paragraphs, we have a bunch of sentences wandering off by themselves, and looking quite alone. She's asking for a beta reader.

Get to it. But first, ask for fan art. We like fan art around here. Preferably nude art (or, in some cases, nude penguin art). But failing that, any old "Daria" art will do.

The Daria Tree

2006-11-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

People keep writing hoping there's going to be another post, but there isn't going to be another post, so GO AWAY!!

Which leads me to a question: "why don't Daria fans just...you know...talk to each other?" Say, on the phone, or in person? I mean...how much does it cost to reach out to someone as opposed to refreshing a message board 50 times in a row hoping that someone will post something...anything! I mean, you just grab the computer and bang your head against the wall and just want to scream, "POST YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!! POST!! POST!!! AAAAAARRGGGGGHHHH!!!"

And then your wife complains because she can't hear the TV.

So I decided I'd relate my idea called "The Daria Tree". "The Daria Tree" consists of fans that you have either a) visited, or b) called on the telephone. No, instant messaging does NOT count, even if you spent five hours with another Daria fans on AIM bitching that you were going to run away from home because your Mom made you wash the dishes...or something.

Let's see who is in my "Daria Tree":

I have actually visited (or had visit me):

* Ruthless Bunny (DUH.)
* medea42 (so who remembers her?)
* Mr. Anonymous (so who remembers him?)
* Wraith (Met him at an anime convention Mr. A dragged me to -- but anime conventions aren't that burdensome. In fact, the fans are reaaaaaaaaaaaaly interesting, the way that the monkeys are really interesting at the zoo.)
* Leopard Lady (so who remembers her? Met her briefly in New York City.)
* ahmygoddess (yes, I've met the man)
* E. A. Smith (ditto)
* kaimefarlove (I hope I spelled that right)
* Father Martin (got a chance to host the man during his US tour)

I have actually talked on the phone with:

* Mike Xeno (during the aborted "Padded Walls" project)
* Greybird (regarding DFB stuff)

I *suspect* I have talked on the phone with:

* The Angst Guy (but my memory is real hazy and that might not be true)

So first: who have you actually MET? Or spoken to on the phone? Remember..instant messaging and chatrooms does NOT count.

I call this idea "The Daria Tree" because if one had that software that could draw lines and squiggles and things you could connect Daria fans via a line of contacts. Unfortunately, I don't have that software. I could draw such a picture and scan it -- but I don't have a scanner. Maybe I'd just shove it against the computer screen and if everyone squinted very hard, they could see it.

And if you've spoken to these people for the purposes of phone sex, I don't want to hear about it. (Unless you send me private e-mail, then I want to know all about it so I can laugh at these people behind their backs.)

Anyway, here's your October post. Now where's my money?

Your Monthly September Post

2006-10-06T08:40:00.000-07:00

Kara Wild asked me when the hell I was going to get around to updating the blog. And here I am, during one of those lazy fall days when you just don't feel like doing anything, and that includes graduate school, which can be compared to a five-year long intellectual hazing. (Trust me, karma is a bitch.)

So we've done a few things. The 2006 Daria EIF nominees are immortalized in a link on the left hand side of the page, as well as the 2006 winner, a Mr. Martin Pollard of Michigan. Then again, as Mr. Pollard says that real life often gets in his way of timely updates to Outpost Daria, he should have no resentment that the same thing happened in my case and that it is entirely the interference of school that caused the delay in recognition for his achievements in Daria Fandom, which are numerous. Congratulations from the DFB!

As for this year's voting, we got ten people voting, which is a 300 percent increase from last year, when no one really gave a damn. Getting ten fans to do anything in Daria Fandom is hard, but I suspect the 2007 voting (if I decided to hold another award) will be easier after the older fans are retired from the list and newer ones added.

It looks like there is still interest in giving awards for the 2007 Booties. I thank Richard Lobinske for keeping the fan awards alive. Right now, I'm still in the 'glad to have any awards at all stage'; when I have time to seriously turn to the subject I might subject the process to more criticism.

And a Dariacon is scheduled for 2008. In-fucking-credible. Well, I'll be there, although if you think I'm going to stay near the airport, you're out of your mind. (Although I think the venue site is more than appropriate.) I'll be staying in better digs (hopefully), drinking champagne from a fluted glass and looking down my nose at the poor. It will be the C. Montgomery Burns Hotel.

I might also come masked. If you attend the convention, don't be surprised to find your personal items missing. You might wish to coat them with a fine paste of anthrax, to ward off potential burglars such as myself.

Let's Wrap This Sumbitch Up

2006-08-20T12:22:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, Kara Wild asked how long a blog devoting itself to Daria Fandom could last. And now, we know the answer. "About 1 1/2 years, give or take."

It is with regret and not a bit of retrospection that I put the Daria Fandom Blog on hiatus. I will be starting graduate school tomorrow, and I'm just not going to have the time to surf the message boards. Or rather, my goal is not to have the time to surf them: this shit can draw you in and I want to stay away from it to preserve my academic health.

My co-contributor Frank is feeling it's time to slowly cut his ties with Daria Fandom. I would like to thank him for his contributions during my busy summer, and I appreciate all that he has done. I would also like to thank Daria fan Greybird (you remember him?) for his work as co-contributor earlier on this blog. I've been honored to work with such fine gentlemen, and hopefully, working with me wasn't a gigantic pain in the ass.

As for the rest of Daria Fandom, I don't know if its time to actually leave (remember my saying: you don't leave Daria Fandom, Daria Fandom leaves you), but I do think it's time to put it at arm's length for a little while. This means not only less messageboard surfing, but it also means that there might not be frequent contributions to other stories I've been doing. Nothing under my current alias, which this time, I think I'll keep the semi-secret I've been keeping it. (Hint: if any known author suddenly stops writing, you can say, 'hey! I bet that guy/girl was CINCGREEN!' It might be fun.) Certainly no more updates on The Green Sink.

The final (foreseeable) Daria Excellence in Fandom Award will be granted. Hey, nine votes this time! I see that as a major uptick in voting, given the fandom. Most of the fans who voted were well-known fans, and their choice was virtually unanimous. The problem is that I was only able to "give" two awards. Even if I decided to give an award in 2007, by that time the blog would be so full of cobwebs it would only be read by Phenetermine bots, and the only vote would be mine. Perhaps it was just too early to give the awards, but I'm the kind of guy who would rather be too soon than too late.

If anyone wants to take over the DFB, fine. Make a good argument for ownership, and I'll give you the keys.

Until then, I have no last words since I'll be around. I still have to post the Excellence in Fandom Winner tomorrow. Besides, I remember when Karl Marx was asked if he had any last words on his deathbed.

"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!"

--CINCGREEN, 20 August 2006

Fan Fiction and Art Since July 25

2006-08-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

New at FanFiction.net:

“A Kindred Spirit,” by Paikuhan.
“New Arrival,” by bhut.

New and updated fan fiction at The Paperpusher's Message Board:

“The Meaning of Life,” a complete ficlet by Angelinhel.
Roentgen added a new installment to what he terms ‘the slowest series on Earth,’ “New Drum, Same Tune.”
DJW continues his “Open Windows” continuum with “Folk and Foolishness.”
The Angst Guy posted a link to chapter 8 of “Scarlett.”∗
Sleepless posted chapter 39 (!) of “Yuki-Onna.”∗

“History and Memory”

“Musings.”

Richard Lobinske posted “Falling into College 48: Dividing Spiral.”∗
Angelboy's “Embers” is now up to part 11.
Decelaraptor completed “Revenge: Best Served Cold, With a Schmear.”
Robin Sena posted “Why You Should Never Hire Brittany Taylor,” a short script-format fiction.
Ranger Thorne posted “Esteemer, y'all!” another script-format fiction.

Items marked with a ∗ can also be found at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board, which is host to these new and updated works:

Ostragoth updated ”Estrangesters.”
Roentgen continues “Legion of Lawndale Heroes.”

Fan art at The Paperpusher's Message Board:

Christ Oliver found Enigma Wing's self-portrait with Daria, also available in her Deviant Art gallery.
Greybird posted a link to various Daria avatars at LiveJournal.
S.C. completed his Daria animated short, “A Little Knowledge,” offering it in a small You Tube format, a 640 by 360 Quick Time movie, and for those with fast connections and big monitors, a 1280 by 720 Quick Time movie. While many people have noted how much like the series this animation looks—per Kara Wild, even Glenn Eichler thinks it looks like an episode—its aspect ratio is 16:9 while the original series is standard television 4:3.
S.C. also provides a drawing of Jennifer as a surfer, honoring a request from Angelboy.

Fan art: a frame from “A Little Knowledge,” cropped to 4:3 proportions. Click on the image for a comparison with the original 16:9 image:

Most of the short uses the entire width of the frame; this is from the only section that could be cropped.

(Title Pending Review by Shadowy Men in a Dark Room)

2006-07-25T17:10:00.000-07:00

Of general interest:

Less than thirty days remaining to make nominations for the 2006 Daria Excellence in Fandom awards. Fans can nominate three people, including ones not on the list in the linked post. Send your nominations to:
- CINCGREEN at “cincgreen[at]yahoo[dot]com”
- Frank Sinisterra at “dr.sinisterra[at]gmail[dot]com”
Nominations will be accepted until midnight, 20 August, 2006.

New and updated fan fiction since July 13 at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Angelboy added a new section to “Diary Entries.”
Professor posted “Going APE,” a complete ficlet.
cyke posted part 1 and part 2 of “Ted's Coma.”
The Ranting Klown posted chapter 6 of “North and South.”
Roentgen continues his mass cross-posting of “Legion of Lawndale Heroes.”
The Angst Guy posted a link to the latest version of “Scarlett.”
Erin M. posted a complete Kim Possible ‘QuickFic’ entitled “The Dare.”∗
Erin M. also added chapter 6 to “Kim Possible: Timebreaker.”∗
Ranger Thorne has posted the finale of his Daria/Teen Titans crossover, “The Gem and the Sword.”
Decelaraptor started a new serial called “Revenge: Best Served Cold—With a Schmear,” and is up to part 5.
Angelboy has posted part 8 of “Embers.”
Richard Lobinske posted “I Meant to Do That,” a complete ficlet.∗
Richard Lobinske also started “Falling Into College 48: Dividing Spiral.”

Items marked with a ∗ can also be found at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

New and updated fan fiction at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board:

Dervish posted “Another Day in a Quiet Mountain Town,” a ‘Daria’/‘South Park’ crossover.
Psychtol started “An Accident.”
In the hidden section, Angelboy is up to chapter 5 of “Repression and Repercussions.”

New and updated fan art at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

MDetector5 posted a link to a cartoon featuring Quinn.
Robin Sena is on a tear, posting:
- a boxcover of a fictious NeoGeo version of ‘Daria's Inferno’
- a vision of judgment titled “Goats Go to Hell”
- a takeoff on the cover of the Beatles' Abbey Road, “Fashion Road”
- a ‘Star Wars’/‘Daria’ crossover, “Dar(ia) Wars.”

Fan art: Isa Yo-Jo's non-seasonal Daria and Jane drawing. Click for full-size image:

2006 Daria Excellence in Fandom Nominees

2006-07-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

This is the second year in a row that the EIF will be awarded by the Daria Fandom Blog. (Not very many votes last year, but that will not stop us from soldiering on.)

Looking at the post for EIF nominees of 2005, I am surprised that we are in our ninth year of "Daria" fandom, and we are less than one year away from the 10th Anniversary of Episode 101 of "Daria", "Esteemesters" (air date: March 3rd, 1997).

However, despite lasting for almost ten years, Daria fans still have big problems in getting it together. Many attempts have been made to have a large convention of "Daria" fans. What would count as "large" would be a matter of dispute, but I would have to say you would need at least twelve people and three BNFs. Frankly, I'm just glad the fandom exists in any form. That might depend on whether or not "Daria" has any television outlets -- the day "Daria" episodes go off the air is a day the fandom is in danger. On the other hand, if "Daria" fans ever get their episodes on DVD -- and I see that as more likely than a fan convention, no matter how much I want such a convention to take place -- then the fandom will have dodged the bullet. As long as DVD episodes exists, then "Daria" can never die.

On this year's list, you will recognize fewer unfamiliar names. We are moving away from the alt.tv.daria-based fandom and towards an Internet messageboard based fandom, and you should sense the shift by looking at nominee names. At worst, only two or three of the names should leave you scratching your heads. As nominator-in-chief, the goal was to create a nominee list which gives great emphasis on seniority in this fandom.

So if you're pissed that you didn't make the list, then a) these people have been around longer than you, wait your turn, and b) someone didn't make a case that you should be nominated. In either case, not my fault.

A bone of contention among some fans was that I was the "decider" -- no input was asked for in drawing up the following list. This is as it is for a number of reasons. First, you have to get the veterans out of the way before opening the floor, else they'll be forgotten. Second, after the veterans have been considered -- my list has about 20 names on it right now -- the floor will be opened. Third, you can write a letter pleading someone's case (I'll post it on the blog, my address is cincgreen@yahoo.com), and you ALWAYS have the power to use your three votes to vote for people not on the list.

Another might ask, "why are some people on the list? Don't you have a feud with X"? I might have or have had a feud with "X" in the past, but this is an honor to recognize achievement and importance. I recognize that some people have made contributions that warrant recognition in the eyes of many people. My opinion regarding these contributions is, to quote an old "Daria" fan, "as important as all-f***".

You will also see that some people are "repeat nominees". These were people who earned enough votes to be considered in 2006, but not enough to win in 2005.

Now, I'll repeat the old part of this post:

Currently, this list has ten names on it.

Every Daria fan can vote for THREE of the names on the list. You may not combine votes, saying that you intend to give two votes to nominee A and one vote to nominee B. Each vote must be for a different person.

Furthermore, the nominees are just that -- nominees. They are only suggestions, after all. You can vote for people who are NOT on the nominees list, if you feel that some other fan is so deserving of recognition that special consideration should be made. For example, instead of voting for three people on the nominations list, you could vote for three other Daria fans.

And you can vote for ANYBODY. The person you're voting for doesn't have to own a website, or be a writer, or an artist, or anything. They can simply be person you enjoy reading on the message boards, perhaps someone you've met in real life, or someone who personally means a lot to you. Maybe a fan who lent a hand, or who is a voice who listens. Someone who represents the best of what Daria fandom has to offer.

There are only three groups of people excluded from nomination:

1) my wife and I, for obvious reasons
2) people who have no connection to Daria fandom, and
3) people involved with the creation/production of the television series - thus people like Glenn Eichler and Wendy Hoopes would be ineligible for an award recognizing Daria fans.

Votes for the above would be considered "null" votes.

There is no material or financial prize awarded. The only prize rewarded is simply recognition of the fact that in some way, these people were very important to Daria fans and that in some way, that importance deserves a bow of the head in respect.

1. Mike Quinn

Mike Quinn is a member of "Daria" fandom from its earliest days. For five years, Mr. Quinn wrote the famous "Mike's Delayed Reaction Reviews", where he reviews and comments on each of the 67 Daria episodes -- it's a lot of text and a lot of work, and the complete archive can be found on Outpost Daria. The reviews stirred up a lot of debate in Daria fandom, but most fans eagerly awaited the publishing of a review after an episode.
(Mike Quinn was a 2005 EIF nominee.)

2. Martin J. Pollard

When Planet Daria and alt.lawndale.com went down, there was an outcry among the fandom. Where would the fan fiction and transcripts of Daria episodes be stored? As it turned out, they would end up on Outpost Daria, the fifth major Daria fan site which is still more or less the first stop where you go to find Daria information.

Most of the fan fiction on Outpost Daria is quite literally irreplaceable. Many of these fan works are from 1997 and 1998, from the older Daria fan sites. These early fans have stopped writing but their fiction lives on at Outpost Daria. All the transcripts from the Planet Daria site can be found there, as well as a large collection of essays and archived news.

In addition, Mr. Pollard used to run a message board (The Outpost Daria Message Board). The board no longer exists (it did run before 2000), but Mr. Pollard directed the former message traffic to the Paperpusher Message Board, which is now the primary Daria message board. He also posted/posts on USENET and frequented the #daria+ channel. (Martin J. Pollard was a 2005 EIF nominee.)

3. "The Paperpusher"

"The Paperpusher" (first name Rich) has been a Daria fan since at least 1998. And, like many Daria fans, created his own site with fan fiction, news, and a message board.

The scorched remnants of the first Paperpusher Site can be found here . As the message boards in Daria fan history went up, and then went down, they were first directed to the Outpost Daria Message Board, and finally, the message board at Paperpusher's site, which would later be referred to as the PPMB.

Rich paid for the message board for a long time, providing a great benefit to Daria fandom. However, he came to turn the actual operation of the board over to other Daria fans, and in 2005, the actual possession of the board was turned over to Kara Wild. Rich is involved in academic studies now and is no longer active in Daria fandom. ("The Paperpusher" was a 2005 EIF nominee.)

4. (Father) Martin Sylvester

Since there are two well-known "Martin"s in Daria fandom, the other Martin of the two is sometimes called "Father Martin" or "the Padre". He's called "Father Martin" as he is a Catholic priest in England.

A Daria fan since at least 1998, the "Irony Maiden" website has been up since at least 1999. The site has a different purpose than most Daria fan based sites -- the purpose is to keep up with the show outside the United States, to follow on which channels in which nations one can find "Daria".

In addition, one can find information about some of the earliest "Dariacons", which are "mini-collections", gatherings of a few fans here and there around the world to meet and discuss Daria. Father Martin has himself travelled to the United States and met many Daria fans in person, and has been nothing less than a gracious spirit. (Martin Sylvester was a 2005 EIF nominee.)

5. Chris Smith ("Reese Kaine")

Chris Smith has been in Daria fandom since the days of alt.tv.daria. From a write-up by Thea-Zara, modified by myself:

"Another of the early fans, he ran a site located here with the famous "Daria Sounds Archive" (also at here by Web Archive), the LHWF, and his 'Kain' series of fanfics. Chris Smith started #daria+ on Dalnet, and was/is a regular in Daria chat in both IRC and AIM. He's still active in the community working on both fics and on creating Daria characters with many different 'create a character' video game systems.

Mr. Smith has been a consistent member of fandom since the beginning and has added a quirky sense of humor and some much needed levity to our community."

6. Chad Page

A fan of long standing, Chad Page spends most of his time now at the most recent incarnation of the #daria + channel, located at sorcery.net. He contributed to
alt.tv.daria and as a writer for Kara Wild’s series, "Abruptly Amy", and he
formerly served as a moderator of the Paperpusher Message Board.

Even though most of Mr. Page's contributions to fan fiction have been as a beta reader, he is generally known as a major supporter of Daria fandom since its
beginning.

7. Janet Neilson ("Canadibrit")

Better known to Daria fandom as "Canadibrit", Janet Neilson has been a longtime message board poster, fan fiction writer, reviewer of fan fiction, essayist, and web master.

In particular, her website called "I Am Not Daria" was considered to be at one time the first stop for any serious Daria fan. (The scorched remnants of the second version of the site can be found here .

In addition to her presence on all of the versions of #daria on IRC, Neilson is best known for "The Look Alike Series", a long running alternate-universe fan fiction serial of Daria and her look-alike sister, Lynn. The series has over fifty parts and more new parts are being produced.

8. Damon Domjan ("Orca")

Also known as "Orca", Domjan opened "Damon’s Half-Assed Daria Shrine" in 1999 as a response to the closing of the "Daria Sounds Archive" page. In three months, the site was renamed "The Sounds of Cynicism" and would soon be given a home here . The site opened in 1999 and was closed on May 11, 2000 due to copywright infringement.

According to Mr. Domjan,

"At the time of closure, 2,500 screen captures, 1,100 sounds, and 41 full episodes at a variety of bitrates representing approximately 1.4 gigabytes of data were available. Every day 300 Daria fans pummeled the servers with 11,000 hits and 1000 page views, representing a staggering 2.5 to 3 gigabytes of bandwidth, and traffic was still going up at the time of closure. *sniff* We'll miss you SOC..."

From 1999 to 2003, he was a presence on the IRC #daria+ channel and kept the stats for the channel here .

Mr. Domjan is no longer active in Daria fandom.

9. Steven Galloway

Steven Galloway, a Daria fan of long standing, has several accomplishments to his name.

He is the writer of the "Spotlights", very popular summaries of noteworthy Daria fan fiction writers. Mr. Galloway would choose a fan fiction author to spotlight approximately once a month; seventeen of these spotlights can be seen here . Unfortunately, all of the spotlights were posted on Daria message boards, and most of them are lost.

In addition, he is the author of "Revelations" and "Visitations", perhaps the longest Daria fan fiction series ever written, regarding Daria and Quinn's heretofore unknown older brother. He is a moderator at the Paperpusher Message Board, an early contributor to alt.tv.daria and remains active in Daria fandom.

He was also the creator of a floorplan for the Morgendorffer home, based on his viewings of the episodes.

10. Kara Wild

A fan of "Daria" since its earliest viewings, Kara Wild has several noteworthy fan accomplishments to her name.

She is probably best known for the "Driven Wild" continuum, an alternate universe diverging from standard "Daria" reality and noteworthy for its take on Helen and Jake's relationship. Other fans might know her for her creation of the "Abruptly Amy" website and series of stories (by herself and other writers) detailing a wild take on the concept of a series based on Aunt Amy, and mocking the standard conventions of broadcast television.

It is hard to find a field in which Kara Wild has not made her mark. She is the webhost of the "Contrarian’s Corner" website located here . She is also a noteworthy essayist. And her most current and prominent contribution is as the new owner and manager of the Paperpusher Message Board.

......

In order to cast a vote, please send your votes to either:

a) me at cincgreen 'at' yahoo 'dot' com
b) Frank Sinisterra at dr.sinisterra 'at' gmail 'dot' com.

You can even vote for persons not on the list. The deadline for voting is the midnight of August 20th, 2006.

Fan Art Since July 6

2006-07-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

At the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Roentgen posted an image of a Daria character in a stock car race. (I think it's a stock car race—please correct me if I'm wrong.) From the list of sponsors and line of dialogue, I'd judge it to be Stacy Rowe, although it might be another member of the Fashion Club, bar Tiffany (“Would an Indy car make me look fat?”)
Other contributors to Roentgen's Daria in other cartoons thread: Kristen Bealer, Scissors MacGillicutty, (who also contributed an image of Daria in a movie) S.C., (of whom more below) Scissors MacGillicutty again in a followup to one of S.C.'s images, and Ranchoth, (based on this image from Evangelion)
Wouter added links to new pages from his graphic story in progress, “Growing Pains.”∗

a non-holiday oriented image of Daria and Jane.

Finally, S.C. provides links to four large, photorealist renderings of Daria's room from various angles.

Items marked with a ∗ can also be found at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

Incorrect report of a new thread of the Sh33p's Fluff removed, with my apologies.

This Post Guaranteed Free of Gratuitous Monty Python Allusions

2006-07-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

...as well as dull excursuses on various HTML tags and entities. So, right to the point:

Items of general interest:

E. A. Smith replaces Ranger Thorne as a moderator at the PPMB. Congratulations to Mr. Smith, and a nod of gratitude to Ranger Thorne.
Roentgen, using the new Google Trends tool, finds that Australia may be the home to the most Google-web-searchingest Daria fans with the UK and US in second and third places respectively.
For those fans new to the PPMB, Isa Yo-Jo has started a re-introduction thread.
For Firefox users, Daria fan Insanity has compiled an extensive list of extension to that popular browser.Unfortunately, no Daria fan activity aggregator extention is currently available.
New fan TheKnave seeks recommendations on fan fiction, especially Daria/Trent shippers.
Richard Lobinske speculates on Jodie's future academic performance once away from intense parental pressure and concludes that she may well crash and burn.
DJW seeks information on Amelia's background.

New and updated fan fiction at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Angelboy has added new sections to “Embers.”
DJW has added part 3, part 4, and part 5 to “Open Windows.”∗
Richard Lobinske completed “John Lane 19—Retouched Parents.”∗
Ranchoth completed “Inauguration.”
Ranger Thorne continues his Daria/Teen Titans crossover, “The Gem and the Sword.”

Items marked with a ∗ (&lowast;) can also be found at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

New fan fiction at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board:

Gord, a new author, posted “D&D with Daria & Jane D20.”

Fan art coverage to follow shortly. My apologies for the delay.

And Now for Something Soothingly Familiar...

2006-07-06T16:19:00.000-07:00

Ahem. My apologies for the previous post. I'd given my keys to the blog to someone I thought I could trust. Rest assured, that person has been sacked.

New and updated fan art at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Roentgen posted an image from an episode of the Simpsons with Daria embedded to appropriate effect. (affect? I can never keep them straight)
S.C. continues his hyper-realist renderings of Daria's room.

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

2006-07-06T15:07:00.000-07:00

—Our chief weapon is surprise—surprise and items of general interest:

Daria fan IOXMO turns twenty-one, as reported by Deref.
Wouter Jaeggers inquires about musicians that Daria fans now or ever had crushes on.
Ranger Thorne is giving up moderator duties at the PPMB, and Kara Wild solicits applications for his successor.
Vladimir1 gives an example of how to correctly code URLs that include punctuation in BBCode.

—All right—two weapons: surprise and items of general interest—

—'ats not two, it's five!

—No no—you see, it's the items of general interest that are the second weapon, but they change from time to time—

—Sod off! 'e ain't even got to fan fiction at the Sh33p's Fluff yet!

—Ah! I've always wondered how you pronounce '33'...

—That's right! Our two weapsons are surprise, items of general interest and new and updated fan fiction at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board:

Napalm Kracken posted “Daria vs. Jane,” described as a ‘Red vs. Blue style spoof.
The Angst Guy posted a link to his updated short story “Scarlett.”
Mistress Thea Zara posted bit two of “Protecting the Line.”

part two

“Living Dead Girls 6.”

—All right—our three weapons are surprise, items of general interest, new and updated fan fiction at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board, new and updated fan fiction at the Paperpusher's Message Board—wait—among our—I mean amongst our weapons—sorry, why don't I just come in again...

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquistion!

—That's not right!

—What do you mean it's not right?

—I mean the heading was just enclosed in <h2> tags. 'Ere you've got <i> tags inside a pair of <h3> tags.

—What bloody difference does it make?

—Well, I mean if you wanted to start over, you should use the same heading tag, yeah?

—Look, I didn't expect a bloody HTML tutorial—

HTML Tutorial: Use `<ul>` for Unordered Lists

Although the entity • may be used to introduce items in a bulleted list, using the <ul>...</ul> tags to create a block-level unordered list and <li>...</li> to enclose each element in the list indicates the logical structure of the list, and shows the semantic role it plays in the document.

Example:

New and updated fan fiction at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Richard Lobinske started “John Lane 19: Retouched Parents.”
Gregor Samsa completed “The Rime of the Auntcient Mariner.”
Roentgen set down the framework for an untitled multi-author story in a thread titled “Thought Exercise—Multitask.” Of the twenty-five sections put down, seven have been claimed so far.

Here, the list is coded as follows:
<ul> <li>Richard Lobinske started <a href="http://thepaperpusher.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=13497">“John Lane 19: Retouched Parents.”</a></li> ... </ul>

Note that some blogging tools will turn carriage returns into <br /> tags, so lists like the one above will have to be run together on a single line.

Fan Fiction and Items of General Interest Since 6/20

2006-07-03T14:31:00.000-07:00

Of general interest:

Martin Pollard has updated Outpost Daria! Details may be found here.
Kara Wild has updated The Contrarian's Corner! Details of her updates may be found here.
Father Martin Sylvester posted this reminder about the Daria IRC chat room. If your browser supports such things, you can connect to it at irc://iuturna.sorcery.net/Daria+.

New and updated fan fiction at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Ranger Thorne made a brief update to “Shadow of a Cynic.”
Erin M. added chapter 4 and chapter 5 to his Kim Possible story, “Timebreaker.”
cyke added ‘Evils of Being Green, Part 2’ to “Lawndale Force 4.
cyke also added chapter 10 1/2 to “New Masters of the Universe.”
Angelboy made updates here and here to “Is It Smiting Yet?”
cyke posted a Celebrity Deathmatch crossover.
The Angst Guy posted chapter 2 and chapter 3, part 1 and part 2 of “The Others.”∗
DJW posted part 1 and part 2 of “Open Windows.”
Angelboy posted an update to “Diary Entries.”∗
Richard Lobinske posted part 4 and the conclusion to “Falling into College 47: Melody of Life.”∗
Ranchoth added part 2 and part 3 of “Inauguration.”
Angelboy added part 4 to “Embers.”
The Lawndale Stalker posted a ficlet entitled “Don't Bet on It.”∗
Roentgen continues his mass cross-posting of “Legion of Lawndale Heroes” starting here.
Decelaraptor posted “Dry, Dry, My Darling,” a complete story.
The Ranting Klown added part 4 and part 5 of “North and South.”
Richard Lobinske posted “Promise in Green,”∗ a complete fiction in script form.
Psychotol added part 2 to “Living Dead Girls 6.”∗
Gregor Samsa started “The Rime of the Auntcient Mariner,” a cross-over/parody of Coleridge's homophonously-titled poem.

Items marked with a ∗ can also be found at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board.

New and updated fan fiction at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board:

Mistress Thea Zara posted “Kitty Poker” and “Protecting the Line.”
Psychotol posted “An Accident.”

Partial Update: Fan Art Since 6/20

2006-07-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

I hope to cover fan fiction since 6/20 tomorrow. But right now—

New at the Sh33p's Fluff Message Board:

Christ Olivier renders Daria as Supergirl∗ (with a stunned Quinn in the background) and Daria, Jane, Quinn, et al. as chibi.∗ For those unfamiliar with the term (as I was), Wikipedia says that chibi are characters drawn with
stubby bodies that are about the same size as the head. A chibi rendition of a character is usually done for comedic purposes. Sometimes, in the Western fandom, it is used as a modifier with a name to denote a child version of a character . . . Chibi are typically known to be super-cute, speak in childlike voices, have large puppy-dog eyes, and often a mischievous or indignant personality. Chibi-style characters are often also lacking in detailed anatomy such as fingers; their hands closely resemble those of the Powerpuff Girls (which postdates the influence of anime on Western animation) or look as if they are wearing mittens. When they do have fingers, they are often shaped like baby hands.
In the hidden section, the Great Saiyman continues his story of Jane in college, “Growing Pains.”

Items marked with a ∗ can also be found at the Paperpusher's Message Board.

New at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Prince Charon issued an Iron Chef challenge to create the type of airplane graffiti known as nose art based on Daria characters, and Richard Lobinske and S.C. rise to the challenge.
Gregor Samsa offers a drawing of Daria non compos mentis. Has Quinn's insistance she's an only child finally gotten to Our Heroine?
Displaying one of the most unusual works of fan art I can recall (not that I've been around that long, however), Mr. Orange shows photos of a cake decorated with the Daria logo.
S.C. updates his animated Daria fantoon with a GIF of Quinn walking and short QuickTime movie of Sandi talking by the lockers.
S.C. also provides a new image of 3D Tiffany and preliminary sketches of a realistic rendering of Daria's bedroom.
Finally, Roentgen gives us a glimpse of what the PPMB might look like if Quinn were the main character.

Gallery:

S.C.'s walking Quinn GIF:

The Daria cake:

Christ Olivier's Daria chibi:

Meanwhile, as Law-Abiding Citizens Everywhere Went about their Business...

2006-06-20T07:43:00.000-07:00

Of general interest:

Kara Wild's DVDaria.info and the.wild-one.com are currently off-line due to a dispute with her hosting service, Amhosting. Ms. Wild is soliciting suggestions for more reliable and possibly less expensive hosting providers in this thread at the PPMB.
As mentioned in CINCGREEN's post of 18 June, The-N no longer shows Daria and Greybird noted in a comment to that post that the URL for The-N's Daria's portal is now given to a Canadian live action show called “Whistler.” In light of these developments, it may be some comfort to Daria fans to know that MTV's Daria site at http://www.mtv.com/onair/daria/ is still on-line. Perhaps a fan could mirror or archive it (I could never figure out all the options to wget) before it too goes dark.
A happy belated Bloomsday to the Joyceans among Daria fans.
- To Jake M., trying his best to cook for his family: What is a home without Plumtree's potted meat? Imcomplete. With it, an abode of bliss.
- To Anthony DeM., still reeling from that little boat ride: you can have the newspaper; we were only going to Throw it away.
The Angst Guy wants to know if Daria fan fiction writers are on the right track in this thread at the PPMB. My opinion, which is only mine and not that of the Daria Fandom Blog, is that there is fan fiction I enjoy and fan fiction I do not. I won't even go so far as to say that whether the works I enjoy are good or not, although writers are still producing works I enjoy.

And now, having opined perhaps more than CINCGREEN would like me to, on to news of the fandom—

New and updated fan fiction at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Micka began “Musings.”
Ranger Thorne posted a link to a Kim Possible fan fiction, “Full Potential.”
Angelboy posted a new installment of “Is it Smiting Yet?”
Richard Lobinske began “Falling into College 47: Melody of Life.”

New and updated fan art at the Paperpusher's Message Board:

Christ Olivier and others posted various photos of Daria cosplay found on the web. For those wondering what “cosplay” is, Roentgen provides the following exerpt from the Wikipedia entry:
Cosplay (コスプレ kosupure), a contraction (or portmanteau) of the English words "costume" and "play", is a Japanese subculture centered on dressing as characters from manga, anime, tokusatsu, and video games, and, less commonly, Japanese live action television shows, fantasy movies, or Japanese pop music bands. However, in some circles, "cosplay" has been expanded to mean simply wearing a costume.

In Japan, "cosplay" as a hobby is usually an end unto itself. Likeminded people gather to see others' costumes, show off their own elaborate handmade creations, take lots of pictures, and possibly participate in best costume contests.
S.C. posted his version of Robin Sena's “Strange Bedfellows.”
The original:

The remake (click for 1300 by 700 version):

Still more fan art! Via Christ Olivier, Salvador Dali's “Persistence of Memory” rendered by one Aelis as Daria fan art:

How Green Was My Update (Post #500)

2006-06-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

According to Daria fan Greybird, the last showing of "Daria" on The-N (Noggin) was "Is It College Yet?" on June 4th, 2006. What's going on with "Daria" on The-N?

At the PPMB:

* Angelboy posted new segments of "Is It Smiting Yet?". He also posted a new part of "Embers".
* Ranchoth posted Part 1 of "Inauguration".
* The Angst Guy posted "Change the World" (hidden in an Iron Chef).
* Richard Lobinske completed "John Lane 18: Lessons".
* The Ranting Klown posted Parts 1 and 2 of "North and South". (Daria/Trent relationshipper)

At the SFMB:

* The Angst Guy posted "The Other".
* psychotol posted a new segement of "An Accident".

BLOGALERT:

Someone wants to know whether or not there is any good Daria and Trent fanfiction out there .

The Daria Fandom Blog

Thanks for the Memories

Taking a Break

The View From Above

Seigenthaler’s Rule

No New Posts for a While

Plastic Surgery Disasters: A Review of “Too Cute”

The Cool-Down Period

Now That’s a Portal!

Spiffitude, Man!

“And everyone else is full of ...”: “Pinch Sitter”

The Wiki by the Numbers

New Server Cooking

Wiki Wacky

Fansites Are Popping

Is Daria Fandom “No Fun Anymore”?

Martin Pollard Retires Outpost Daria, Panic in Streets

Outposting No More

Improvements Coming

The Board of Last Resort

Open Thread and Board Status

Daria Is Back on TV ...

“The Lab Brat”: A Formula for Humor

Fanworks Update

Daria Wiki

Daria Makes It to Russia!

Barbizon and Banality: A Look at “This Year’s Model”

Look OUT!

“Malled”: The Final Piece of the Puzzle

When Usenet Ruled the Earth: A Review of “Café Disaffecto”

Thanks, Kem!

Kevin Goes to Broadway

Fanworks Update

“It Kind of Sucked”: A Review of “College Bored”

The Power of “Giri”: A Review of “The Invitation”

Roll ’Em!

In Honor of the 10th Anniversary ...

Ten Years!

Four-Month Fanworks Update!

Fan Fiction Since Hallowe’en

Fan Art Since Hallowe’en

Erotica Since Hallowe’en

SFMB Postscript

Slow Cookery ...

Dead, Doornail, Dying Dead

Viacom Bursts the Inner (You)Tube

2006 Daria Fanworks Awards Winners

Drinking Some Aspartame

Invariably Late

Everything Old Is ...

“Daria”: An Infinite Engine of Stories?

2006 Daria Fanworks Awards — Visual Works

2006 Daria Fanworks Awards —Written Works

Random Comments

The Monday Morning Call

An Alternate Message Board?

The Boilerplate Answer

“Grad’s Cruel”

So ...

Art Burn

A Fannish Reminiscence

Your Monthly November Post

The Daria Tree

Your Monthly September Post

Let's Wrap This Sumbitch Up

Fan Fiction and Art Since July 25

(Title Pending Review by Shadowy Men in a Dark Room)

2006 Daria Excellence in Fandom Nominees

Fan Art Since July 6

This Post Guaranteed Free of Gratuitous Monty Python Allusions

And Now for Something Soothingly Familiar...

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquistion!

HTML Tutorial: Use <ul> for Unordered Lists

Fan Fiction and Items of General Interest Since 6/20

Partial Update: Fan Art Since 6/20

Meanwhile, as Law-Abiding Citizens Everywhere Went about their Business...

How Green Was My Update (Post #500)

HTML Tutorial: Use `<ul>` for Unordered Lists