(by guest-blogger Ruthless Bunny)

I escaped from Daria fandom about three years ago. By “escaped,” I mean I conquered my addiction. At first I can say that I was drawn to the fandom by the fiction, then the people, then the interaction of the people; and then I got disgusted and left.

The addictive nature of the Internet is well documented. Like gambling, the pay-off is intermittent. Human nature is to chase an experience that we once found pleasurable, even if in doing so we subject ourselves to stress and unhappiness. It seems that, again, Daria fandom is performing as advertised.

Last night, James told me about a situation on one of the boards. The short version being that some people were slagging some other people in a forum designed just for that purpose. The result was anger, hurt feelings, and various threats of people taking their equipment and going home.

Normally I smile politely and nod, usually while I am taking mental inventory of the pantry. Frankly, this stuff is boring these days. I don’t even know who the players are anymore. This time though, I did know the players, and I was repulsed.

First of all, I’d like to go on record about three of the four pivotal people in this drama. The first is Tafka. I like Taf and I pretty much always have. I find her intelligent, interesting, and frankly refreshing. I still have a lovely hand-drawn Christmas card that she made for me displayed in a prominent place in our house.

Like most people, there are two sides to Tafka. One is fun and a good friend, the other — not so much. I know that there are certain imbalances that can cause people to have two different personalities. Hopefully one is aware of these tendencies and one tries to head off the more problematic sides of one’s personality. Sometimes the “evil” side takes over and wreaks havoc.

I believe that Tafka gives herself over to these impulses too often. She gives herself license to do so under the guise of not being trodden upon. Sometimes she’ll attach herself to someone else’s cause and tilt at their windmill. Either way, it’s not pretty, nor is it productive.

The other person in the drama is NoNameJane, a.k.a. Cynigal. We were never friends, nor will we ever be. She is responsible for no content of any type; she weaves not, neither does she spin. Oh, so clever is Cynigal! It seems to me that she is an attention whore, probably stemming from having no self-esteem.

The other side of that same ugly coin is the contempt for others that she has, whereby she justifies her pitiable existence with the argument that she is just too smart for the rest of us.

The problem with stagnant intellect is that, like stagnant water, it becomes the breeding ground for all sorts of pests. In the years that she’s been floating around the fandom, she has produced nothing. She has the temerity, however, to dump all over people who are productive, both in the fandom and in society at large.

It is said that Cynigal/NNJ is a delightful person in real life. So that says something interesting about her. She comes to the fandom to use other fans as her whipping posts, and she’s a total pussy. It’s one thing to tell someone something to their face, and to stand by that opinion. It is quite another to slag someone behind their back, and when caught out in your bullshit, to then say: “Can’t you take a joke?”

There is no love lost between us, and that’s just fine by me.

The third person is E.A. Smith. He is a friend in real life. I don’t know him in the fandom, I only know him as a person. He is super-smart, a productive member of society, and he has good common sense. I can’t say the same of Cynigal, and I’m beginning to wonder about Tafka.

As for the fourth person, Deref, I don’t know him from a bar of soap.

So how do these different people converge? In Daria-land, of course.

Frankly, this stuff is the best excuse to not be involved. When I was involved in fandom, it was a diversion. I made some friends, I made some enemies, and when it stopped serving a purpose in my life, I left. Many addictions start as diversions. Gambling, alcohol, and drugs can be recreational or they can ruin your life; it depends on their importance in your life.

So as I stand here, a recovering Internet addict, a bit smug in my recovery, I wanted to testify a bit, here in the den of iniquity, so to speak. First of all, I know: pot-kettle-black. But here’s where I differ. Yes, I was mean, but I was always up-front and direct with the people with whom I had issues. I didn’t say anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to them directly. That’s just chicken-shit.

I also left behind some darn good fan fiction. You can still go and read it.

What exactly were Tafka, Cynigal, and Deref trying to do anyway? It looked an awful lot to me like high school. Cool kids, ragging on the even cooler kids. I know that both Tafka and Cynigal had horrible high school experiences. Cynigal, I believe, left high school before graduating. The teachers were all such assholes. (Sense a theme here?)

The people who make the most derisive comments about the “sheeple” are actually the ones going around in flocks themselves. It’s still a clique, even if you’re still unpopular.

Is this what your life will always be? Finding an authority figure and rebelling against it? What does it say that the authority figure you’ve chosen is a guy on the Daria message board? It’s like robbing a lemonade stand that’s next to the 7-Eleven. A bit too easy and very lazy.

It’s probably easier than confronting your own demons. You’re stuck in dead-end jobs, have no marketable skills, and suffer through terrible relationships, with family and an ever-dwindling circle of friends. Why try and deal with that, when you can go on a message board and protest “the man” there?

I also posit this to the other Dariaites out there: When Cynigal and Tafka both start up that same, wheezing old calliope of “My job sucks, my boss sucks, my neighbors suck, and half the people on the board suck,” why do you even engage them in discourse? Consider the source. Is anything in their lives any good? What things are they doing that will actually solve those situations?

As my wise, old father said, “When someone calls you an ass, hit them. When many people call you an ass, buy a saddle.” Ladies, it’s time to saddle up.

This is not the first time that something like this has happened, and I can predict what will happen next. There will be some insincere apologies. People who say they’re finally done and over with Daria fandom will come back with a sheepish smile on their faces, forgiving all. Hell, I’ve done it myself.

So either the ladies will get their respective acts together, or they won’t. Deref may learn from this experience, or he won’t. E.A. will return to the fandom, or he won’t. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.